How To Deal With Difficult People Without Going Insane

More than 300 comments!

Many of them emotional. Pained. Smudged with tears.

Okay, that’s not true. Blog comments on the web don’t get wet. But I imagined that if they were written on paper, they’d look like used tissue paper after my wife watches a Bea Alonzo-John Lloyd telenovela. (You can read the flood of comments in my previous post, Do You Have A Difficult Person In Your Life?)

It seems like everyone on the planet has a difficult person to strangle, er, I mean to grapple with. But many answered my question, “What special gifts do Difficult People give you?”

I loved your answers! I sifted through all your comments (Yes, I read every single one of them) and found 4 fantastic gifts that difficult people give to us. I just compiled your comments—so a big thanks for being my wonderful research team!

I could list down a hundred gifts, but keeping the list short will make it easier to appreciate.

Are you ready?

Here are the big 4 gifts you receive from difficult people. (Note: Check out especially Gift #2, because that’s what many people don’t do…)

Gift #1:

Difficult people can teach you how to love,

preparing you for Heaven!


§ You learn to become more patient, more understanding, more persevering.

§ You have pity for them because you realize that “Hurt people hurt people”

§ You learn to see the good qualities even among difficult people.

§ You learn how to be compassionate as God is compassionate.

§ You learn how to forgive, to remove bitterness from your heart.

Gift #2:

Difficult people can teach you to protect yourself

and learn to say “No” to abuse.


§ You learn to love yourself, respect yourself, by no longer allowing abuse.

§ You learn to be courageous and stand up against bullies.

§ You learn to give tough love—refusing his abuse again. It may be the most loving thing you can do for a difficult person.

§ You wizen up, learn tact, and learn how to distance yourself from harmful people.

Gift #3:

Difficult people can help you

get to know your weaknesses.


§ Difficult people remind you that you too could be difficult to others.

§ Difficult people teach you many important lessons in life. By seeing the tragic results of their actions, you’re inspired to do the very opposite of what they do.

Gift #4:

Difficult people can bring you closer to God.


§ Difficult people force you to pray a lot. (“Lord, help! I can’t take it anymore!”)

§ Difficult people force you to trust in God. (“Lord, I give up! I’ve done everything but she’s still a monster…”)

§ Praying for difficult people may not change them, but YOU will.

§ “Your cross (difficult person) is your key to heaven…” St. Poveda

§ You realize that YOU are God’s difficult person—yet you’re still loved by God!

Friend, God allows difficult people into your life to give you these 4 gifts.

Don’t miss receiving them!

In my next blog, I’ll share more personally about a few difficult people in my life, and how I dealt with them.

May your dreams come true,

Bo Sanchez

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116 Responses to “How To Deal With Difficult People Without Going Insane”

  1. Thanks Bro. Bo for reading all our comments. i too read almost all the blogs comment and its kinda draining pala when you listen to the many hurts of the people! I just lift up all of them to Jesus.

    I want to Praise GOD for being so kind and lovingly listen to all our prayers concern and hurts. and I Thank Him for answering them all in such a beautiful package.

    Thank God for giving us these four kinds of gift and more. i pray that Holy Spirit will continually pour out His gifts… for us to practice what God want us to do with His people.

    God be with us all! Peace everyone! :-)

  2. I was so excited to read this article as I thought that this is exactly what’s happening to me right now. I consider this roommate of mine as a difficult person basically because she doesn’t know how to value a friendship. She’s been a roommate for 2 years and I felt that she considered me as a true friend (that’s what I thought). I was so trusting her knowing that she should treat me likewise. It’s just last year that I realized that she was competing to me. She never tell what’s she’s doing to accomplish whatever she wants. All the while I thought I’m living with a true friend knowing that she is “christian” but I was wrong. It was so difficult to live with her knowing that you wouldn’t know what will happen next and what she’s capable of doing. Eversince I’m not competitive to a friend and I wanna make sure that I’m helping other person. But, no matter how good you are, there are always evil person around you. I guess my decision of moving early from my apartment will give me peace of mind. I just pray that we will both be healed by God for whatever pain I causes her and the pain that I ‘m experiencing right now. I’m just thankful that I will be away from her.

  3. Hi Bo! What you said is so true! Although it pains me everytime I talk to my boss (which is generally everyday), I know I’d learn from this experience. AND, I’ll let you in on a secret, everytime I talk to him over the phone (since he’s overseas), I have inspiring websites infront of me that talks about patience, and websites that contain prayers. After each conversation, I would pray again. Another God’s way of making me close to him no? (Oh boy! But why this way? hehe.)

  4. Hi! Brother Bro…

    what a nice article…i have been dealing with difficult people almost boss, officemates with attitude problems…ahhh so difficult to deal with difficult people..but i just pray for them that God would touch their hearts and change their attitudes…dealing with them teaches me to be more patient and understanding…and I dont argue with them to avoid burst up of temper…ang galing brother bro..i can control myself by lifting these difficult people to God…

    God Bless us All….

  5. Yeah..i agree 100% to all the gifts we can gain because of the difficult people in our lives. Each day, each moment, each encounter with these people can be turned into something positive…a healing experience and a way to become a much better person BECAUSE of a difficult person.

    Thank you Bro. Bo for this article. If you got a book on this topic of difficult persons….can I have the title? I’d like to subscribe to one.

  6. Magandang umaga!

    Thanks, Bro. Bo for reading all our comments. I too, was hooked up in reading all comments from other people. And reading them makes me smile as I can also relate to some of them, as in….”parang ganyan nangyari sa akin, heheheh”

    I never realize that I am talking to God more often now. Thank you, Lord! As no matter what we faced everyday , we know that You have prepared us.

    God bless us all!


  7. Hi Bro Bo,

    Somehow difficult person is a blessing…. we learn and we are shaped through them… as i read you article i started to see myself as courageous. Its really tough dealing with a difficult person, but its a one way of our inner gift…the gift of patience and goodness.

    Thanks Bro Bo for continually inspiring us by your articles. God Bless

  8. Somehow difficult person is a blessing…. we learn and we are shaped through them… as i read you article i started to see myself as courageous. Its really tough dealing with a difficult person, but its a one way of our inner gift…the gift of patience and goodness.

    Thanks Bro Bo for continually inspiring us by your articles. God Bless

  9. HI Bro. Bo,

    Thanks for this wonderful article, and for the previous one, too.

    I have a difficult person in my life right now and everytime that we talk, it seems like he’s draining all the energy from my body and that I may have a heart attack (I’m in my early 20’s so it’s a fat chance that I’ll have an attack). We are both serving in the youth ministry and he is the type of person who insists on doing things his way; his ideas are the only ones that should be followed or done. He also doesn’t know how to listen to other people’s suggestions. But true to your words, I’ve develop patience from dealing with him. I pray that the Lord will grant me more patience in dealing with this person and make me understand why he is acting the way he is.

    More power to you and may you continue to bless a lot of people through your work. God bless you and your family.

  10. Yes, it is right….

    There are always difficult person in our life….

    And we must appreciate their presence….

    For the true gift are the diificult person themselves…

    It’s God’s gift to us….

    Thanks Bro. Bo…..

    Napaisip po talaga ako…

  11. Bro. Bo,
    reading your messages and this blog are really eye openers.
    I only request you to include me in your prayers so I can subdue the difficultness in my ownself. They are difficult people in my life but the worst is myself.
    May God be praise!

  12. Tnx bo..

    talagang nakatulong saken itoh.. and i know that God is good. kasi naman after a “nakakabusit” na conversation with my co-worker(indian nationalities) namaga ang mga VEINS ko.hehehehe then i tried to check my email and i have seen this.. sbi ko “talaga si God AYOS!!!

    kaya naman right away i sent it to my fellow sa head office na also facing this kind of person… it helps me a lot….
    thanks again…

    may God continue to bless you ; )

    Jayson Mora of Qatar

  13. yes, i also have this very difficult person in my life right now. i don’t know what happened to him. we used to be happy. i thought he love me. he told me so, several times actually.
    but he left me when i got pregnant. i was so devastated..i just wanna die that instance.
    but God is good, he made me realize that there are so many reasons why i have to continue living…my baby whose the pride of mylife now, my family for their unconditional love and my friend for being so supportive.
    i still have my depression attacks once in a while, and during those episodes…i just Pray..

  14. Wow. Truly awesome. You have really summed up the essence of the hurts that people caused by difficult person in our lives. So many comments, bottom line is that we are all under work in progress, we are honed by our Maker, He is perfecting us through the same people around us.

    May all of us be Blessed! I believe that until the day we see our Maker. There will always be difficulties in our lives, but it’s our attitude towards these people and situations that will test our faithfullness in God’s love. Many of us will testify that sure we love God but what is important is faith with action. Is it seen in how we deal with these situations? Are you willing to forgive that difficult person and not just to forgive but to forget and start anew?

  15. I wish all people could read your previous article, I think all who read it sure had blog about it, that’s why it had plenty of comments. It’s impact opened our eyes to the very souls of every person including ourselves.

  16. Yes, i do have a difficult person in my life right now and its really sad to say that person is the one closest to my heart. We had a very difficult times in the past, its really hard talking about it now because i also feel her pains all these years. I’d like to think that iv’e done my part in helping her but to my surprise i just realize how hurt, broken and lost i am as she also is. I will not stop here and i know it is still a very long journey ahead with her. What hurts me most is that no matter how she sounds or acts indifferently i do understand her but the fact that she also hurts other people i also love really breaks my heart. For a long time now i’m still going with the flow that sometimes i don’t know where its heading. For me having that difficult person in my life means seeing things on the other side. Its a very exhausting tasks to do but its always been a choice for each one of us to let go or to be there for that person till the end. I love my sister so much that if only i could ease her pain and get rid of all the hurt, i will. For others, it the cross we have to take but for me its the lesson i chose to experience.
    Lord all my strengths and courage are all coming from you and you alone i shall trust and depend.
    I thatk you for still believing and loving the family i have.

  17. Definitely True Brother Bo!

    Difficult people are God’s gift. They have the tendency to awaken the virtues that have fallen asleep within us for a long time …:) It’s kinda tough having difficult people around us especially if we have to meet them 24/7! But I just try to focus not to overwhelmed by their attitudes instead I ask God for more understanding, love, patience and COURAGE to face them everyday . (just hoping not to be one of them, but if i’ll be a difficult person to somebody, I just ask God to help them as He has helped me).

    God is Good all the time!

  18. Thanks for this article, really timely for me :)

    I liked this part most…
    Difficult people teach you many important lessons in life. By seeing the tragic results of their actions, you’re inspired to do the very opposite of what they do.

    I agree. there are times I am tempted to do the same to them… but at the back of my mind, I know it is not right. After all, what satisfaction or good can I get from that. Instead, things become clearer to me… that I need to stay positive and deal with it the Christian way :) I also dont want to be stressed out just because of that. I will just spend my precious time to other more important things. But still, I dont cease praying that one day, we’ll be OK…

  19. Wow! It did hit me big time. I don’t really have to deal with difficult people as I don’t have any (Thank GOD) right now but I could relay these message to some of my friends who are currently facing the situation.

    What an amazing gifts from an amazing GOD we serve.

    Thanks bro. Bo, may the good Lord continue to bless you with a double portion of HIS anointing

  20. tama! ang galing galing..tama nga po lahat ng sinabi nyo.. bro. bo
    ang pananaw ko sa buhay lahat ng PANGET na nangyayari sa buhay natin ay may magandang kalalabasan.. na yun lang ang way ni Lord para maiayos ang buhay natin sa hinaharap.. na kailangang pagdaanan natin yun, o makasama natin ang mga (BWISIT) na yan para mas mapalapit tayo kay Lord..
    sabi ko nga minsan sa mister ko.. nung nagkaroon kami ng isang pagsubok.. na indi tayo sinusubok ni Lord para lang pahirapan..
    meron at meron yang magandang dahilan na sa ngayun ay indi pa natin nakikita kung ano talaga ang dahilan Nya..
    pero nung natapos ang pagsubok namin sa buhay nakita din namin sa panget na pangyayari na yun kung gaano namin kamahal ang isa’t isa..
    na sa bawat pagsubok ay may may matututunan kang maganda!

  21. Each of us is a difficult person to others, we just don’t know. So we should learn to love and understand them also and by loving them and giving them a chance to change is like giving yourself also a chance to be change in a positive way. GOD BLESS TO US!!!!!AND MORE BLESSINGS TO COME…remember were all sisters and brothers…if you want to have blessings from GOD….just keep on loving and have a forgiving heart….sure talaga ako…u’ll be surprise so many blessings to come sa life mo even you don’t ask from it. I do experience all of that just name it…with GOD’s grace ngek ngek ….tinatawanan ko lang nohhh…

  22. dear bo,
    very timely ung article mo for me coz recently i have encountered a very difficult and mean person in my life ( my boss). I lifted her up to the Lord, and still im praying for strength and wisdom, masyado akong naging emotional sa mga ginawa nya. May this experience bring me closer to God and be able to forgive this person. Thanks Bro. Bo you’re my angel. Tears may fall but after this i’ll be a stronger person.

  23. hi kuya bo,
    thanks for the teachings!!!

  24. what you said was true..we must look dealing with difficult person on the wrong or negative side..we must think or consider it as a god’s way knowing ourselves..kasi at the end of the day when we are eveluating of what we’ve been trhough all day naiisip natin yung diss appointment natin dun sa difficult person na kasama natin but at the same time naitatanung natin sa sarili natin na tama rin ba yung treatment natin sa kanila? baka may mali dint tayo. and most importanat it teaches us to love even our most hated person….lagi nating tatandaan to..WHAT IF IT US THE DIFFICULT PERSON IN OTHERS PEOLPE LIFE? How would you like to treat bt them? siguro iparamdam na lang natin sa kanila na may dapat baguhin sa attitude o ugali nila…god bless to all!!!

  25. thank you for summarizing all the comments; i’ve learned a lot more after reading this article. we should thank God for difficult persons in our life and always bear in mind that we too are difficult persons for Him but He still loves each one of us!

  26. Dear Bro. Bo,

    It’s so difficult when the difficult person in your life is your mom. And the thing is, this started maybe 10 years ago and things just got worse. Problems have never stopped and it’s mainly because of my mom’s greed or being vulnerable or being hard-headed.
    Right now, our family (immediate and extended family) is practically destroyed (physically, emotionally, financially, lahat na…) with a lot of hurt and anger. It seems like an impossible situation for me.

    Yes, the Lord has taught us many lessons because of what has been happening, but I sometimes cry out to the Lord and ask “Habang buhay na ba ito? Walang katapusang problema!” You can’t even imagine what we are going through, parang pelikula.

    Please pray for me and my family as we desperately need help.

  27. Hi Bo! You summed it all up so nicely! Galing! :) I especially agree with gift number 3. As I was reflecting on your earlier post, I realized that I can be a difficult person to others, too. Especially when I’m being bossy! Thank you for helping me realize that. God bless you and may He prosper the work that you do!

  28. It’s great to know about the good things that are brought to us by dealing with difficult people. Indeed, there is always a positive thing underneath every difficulty. Praise God for this!

  29. I’ve learned a lot after reading this article. I don’t know if I’m one of the difficult person of others life but I always pray not to be that way. I have a slight difficult person in my life but I’m trying to fix that out by trying to love them like Jesus and to see Jesus in them. I don’t want to have grudge feelings towards others because that’s thorny (I can’t sleep at night). Thanks Bo for helping me realized that I have received the gift that God wants me to be.

  30. With God, you learn to forgive and forget, to be humble and compassionate and to see things in positive way.

    Thank you God for giving us brother Bo. Continue to bless him with your powerful words of wisdom.

    God bless us all.

  31. i can pretty much relate to the article right now.

    first, to my younger brother. he is so opposite to me that i always wonder from what world did he grow up from and do we really belong to the same family (just kidding,bro). it is easier to “ignore” difficult acquaintances or friends, but when it’s family… oh as if i have a choice.

    second, my EX boyfriend. i believe that’s kinda self explanatory. hehe. these situations really made me ask, pray, and beg for wisdom, descernment, strength, perseverance, patience, understanding, hope, learn to forgive, blessings and guidance. ang dami, no? =)

    thanks. God bless.

  32. I think gift no. 2 is the most important, learning how to protect ourselves from harmful people and learning how to stand up against their abuses. these kind of people are emotional criminals. they always bring emotional hell in our lives especially if they happened to be the people we have trusted and loved who just cheated, lied and betrayed us. they don’t bring us closer to God. they always bring us closer to jail. that’s why the very important need of gift no. 2 so to save ourselves and survive the emotional hell they brought in our lives. we just can’t easily forgive and forget people who are unrepentant. i’m not an angry person. i’m just trying to survive from the harmful people in my life.

  33. Yes!Difficult people are reflections of who we are and how we react to other difficult people like us.Thanks for making us realize the reason why we need to accept one another inspite of the weaknesses.Cheers Bro. Bo!

  34. Yes!Difficult people are reflections of who we are and how we react to other difficult people like us.Thanks for making us realize the reason why we need to accept one another inspite of the weaknesses.Cheers Bro. Bo!

  35. Hi Kuya Bo!

    Love to call you my kuya. Thank you so much. I realized that I have no reasons at all to complain about difficult people in my life. Hehehe, your right, difficult people force me to pray a lot and become like a child begging for God’s mercy and comfort.

    Thank you.

    Your fan,


  36. Hi kuya Bo!

    Love to call you my kuya. Thank you so much. I realized that
    I have no reasons at all to complain about difficult people in my life. Your right, difficult person force me to pray a lot and become like a child asking for God’s mercy and comfort.

    Thank you Bo.

    Your fan,


  37. Bro.Bo,

    Yes its true, my big brother is my difficult poeple in my life right now., super pasaway eventhough he is already in his mid50’s, He will sucked and drain my blood out of my veins when we talk dahil he is so super,super dupper mayabang at a lot of pride na wala namang ibubuga and halos itinakwil na ng kanyang sariling pamilya. I just keep on praying that God will continue to bless me with courage and patience more than I already have because parang I already give up sa gigil ko sa kanya… Thank you really with these food of my soul for my strenght and love for my brother more….thanks

  38. Hi Bro. Bo….
    Well as i read those comments…talagang nakakarelate ako. Me as a difficult person to others(to my officemates who are in lower position than me). Because siguro ng situation that they think am on the management side because of my position in the company. Ang di lang po nila alam ako din merong dinadalang difficult persons in my life ung una ang mga boss ko…hay naku po andami nila halos lahat ng BOD…next cla na mga ka officemates ko na nagsasabing difficult ako sa buhay nila. Well… ganyan talaga po ang buhay pag di ka marunong magdala sa kanila ikaw ang unang mabubuwang… Buti nalang po andyan c LORD ang tangi kong kinakapitan… que sera sera…

  39. Bro. Bo Sanchez,

    I’m deeply please with this article.,.

    Nasakto po sa time na ito na I’m feeling so down because my friends now in college really take me for granted. Instead of making me a better person, they try to pull me down. Then, I just broke down and cry silently in our chapel. I’ve lost all the courage to confront them because I want peace and hindi po ako palaaway talaga. Now, I really thank you for this. Kasi, I’ve learned that really…they are my key to heaven.


    See, I’m smiling now.,.

    tnx again in a million!!!

  40. brother bo and to everyone else who could help…
    how to say ‘NO’ to your boss? it’s difficult for me to say ‘NO’ even if my heart screams so…everytime i would say ‘NO” it doesn’t seem quite credible, it’s like i don’t even sound myself because i’m not used to saying it…this is sad…pathetic…help!

  41. ..hi mr. bo sanchez,

    thanks again for the inspiring message & soul enriching words, it gives me peace..God Bless You and more power…

  42. Gian Healed A Healer’s Heart
    On Mothers’ Day, a text message of how events transformed me into another mother reached all my mother-friends and relatives. They received these words:
    “I fully realized today that long before the child is born, s/he had been destined to a mother even if she can’t bear the child. I’m glad to share with you my joy after finding my fourth child, now ten months old, whose soul consistently knocked at my door and took me months to recognize.”
    Some texted back with the question, “You had adoption?” Many sent back messages fit for the Mothers’ Day occasion. A number quietly wondered what came into my mind and made that conclusion.
    Gian shall stay with his father and immediate relatives. Though my desire is to be with him together with my three biological children, respecting the decision of his guardians is the most wonderful.
    A few days after that brave revelation, I left for Cavite as earlier planned. Never telling anybody of the departure, I felt Gian sensed another pain of being abandoned. When I dropped by their house before leaving, he was terribly crying. His grandmother took him from his father and let me hold him; but Gian’s cry became louder and stronger. Softly running my right hand on his crown, I silently gave him my blessing and promised that I will come back.
    Upon my arrival at home, the folks immediately confronted me on the Mothers’ Day text message. They demanded me to explain at once but I got the cue after dinner. It was a disappointing conversation. No one approved of my story. Everyone was so negative – what if he grew to be a criminal; what if he was a headache; what if your children didn’t understand; how could you take care of another child when you couldn’t care enough for three hyperactive children? People are indeed full of worries of things that are not yet there.
    However, in the heat of my defenses, there was a sudden feeling of great relief. They heard me talking differently, expressing deep gratitude to a person who had caused tremendous pain in me. The folks, in deep surprise, heard me clearly expressing appreciation to a person the kids call “Tita Salve.”
    It just happened. No idea. No realization yet. In fact, last Sunday, when I was told that Dian fetched the children, I replied with a message with a mild sarcasm, “So they are celebrating Mothers’ Day without me.” This thought was confirmed when the kids said that they were at their Tita Salve’s birthday.
    The folks told me that the kids’ Tita Salve was giving the children this and that; that the kids used to sleep at her place where their father is also staying. These things are not beyond my knowledge though. The children have told me these a number of times. Only that, upon hearing these things this time, I found myself reacting calmly, saying only, “Oh, that’s good. You must be thankful, guys.”
    Wow! What a heart! After five years, I finally found myself fully healed. There was synchronicity. There was magic that took place again.
    Going back, I remember myself saying that there are no co-incidence; that everything is planned; that the meeting is as important as leaving; that every tear carries a lesson to learn; that we are always in proper place at the proper time; that people appear on our path to help us in our travel; that there are “good” people who will give us a lift and seemingly “bad” people and events that will give us pain yet will also build our muscles to reach the mountaintop.
    When I decided to let go of Tala, I have learned how to respect my son’s decision; I have learned how to be detached yet near to give my light. When I was told that he was staying at her Tita Salve’s place, I felt a pang in my heart but did not blame him. When asked why he did not tell me, Tala just simply said he doesn’t want to hurt me.
    Now, I realized that though I was not with him in that seemingly forever one year, someone has taken my place to take care of him. She may not be the type of person I would like to take care of my son, but the Universe has sent her to do the task, and I could only be grateful for that.
    As a healer, I have sent a lot of healing energy to her through the power of forgiveness. However, this had not been enough because every time the kids would tell me something about their day with her, I still felt the pain. Though I have achieved a certain level of spiritual maturity by the wisdom of silence, still, deep in my heart, it hurt.
    Then Gian healed my heart. He taught me that people are destined to meet on specific purpose. When his mother abandoned him, I was able to fill that emptiness. When I am away with my children, there are always people taking care of my children. Only that, when someone I didn’t like took care of them, I forgot the essence of how the Universe provides me with the support that I ask from it. The Universe is always right, only that, the bitter heart is blind.

  43. Yup that’s true…Those difficult people in our lives make us see our blessings. They teach us to be patient, bring us closer to God by praying that in time they will change their ways and learn not to hurt other people. God bless us all.

  44. Hi Mr. Bo, Thank you so much for reading all our comments…and i have good news! Me and my boss will have a meeting tomorrow with our sales head yey! regarding our performance! whew! it’s really nice to have a difficult person in life. You just have to believe that God has a special plan for you…they are instruments!

    catwoman =)

  45. Thanks Bro Bo….Here in Dubai since we are working together with different nationality with different attitude beliefs values and education thru your soulfood that im receiving everytime i learn to control my self and always choose to be happy. Since i know i cannot control other people.

  46. dear kuya
    sa tuwing may mga taong labis akong pinahihirapan sila rin ang nagiging daan upang lalo akong maging malapit sa PANGINOON.
    naalala ko ng dumaan ako sa isang napakalaking pagsubok dahil sa isang taong napakabigat makasama siya rin ang naging daan upang lalo akong akong mapalapit sa AMA
    ito rin ang naging daan upang matuto akong ipaglaban ang aking karapatan.maraming salamat po sa inyong mga salitang nagdadala ng pagpapala

  47. Everytime I am in the Philippines, I never miss the chance to go to National Bookstore and look for your newest book. You are an incredible writter with so much truthfulness and love in your heart. I really appreciate of what you are doing to other people and really hope that everyone will be reading your “soulfood emails”

    The articles you wrote are almost timely to everyone’s life and we are all uplifted. They helped us to carry on and hold on to God’s plan and His will. We learn alot from you and you make us a BETTER PERSON. You show us the truth that life will always be full of challenges. What more can I say, may God bless you always.

    The article “do you have a difficult person in your life?” i guess received a lot of feedbacks because as we all know, each and evryone of us have an assigned”difficult person.” God always have plan for all of us and that person is in our life for a purpose. Even the person you loved most will be the difficult person in your life. A person sometimes will tell you ” to hurt you will be the last thing i would ever do to you” but you realise that its not true. The pain and the insult you’ve got from that person will make a difference in your life.

    Yes, Bro Bo, surely that gifts will make make you a better and righteous person and you should be thankful for that. God’s love always comes in a mysterious ways so never stop communicating and loving Him for HE WILL ALWAYS BE AT YOUR SIDE NO MATTER HAPPEN. Just keep on holding on.

    Thanks Bro and God bless you you.

  48. I couldn’t agree more with Lisa. If there is one most difficult person in my life – that person, like she acknowledges, is non other than ME, MYSELF and I.

    Dont get me wrong. I am not wanting in self-esteem. Quite the contrary. I esteem myself; I love myself.. (if I won’t, who would?). But maybe a little too much. And that is where problem lies. Too much of self. Too much ego mania. And I think this holds true for most of us. We are so full of ourselves that we can not take in any more of any thing, or any one for that matter. There is simply no room in our inn. No room for discomfort . No room for difficulties – in whatever shape, form or manner they are manifested. But especially so if that discomfort or difficulty happens to be in the shape of person.

    I admit there are people in my life whom I think I would be better off without. But that thinking, that frame of mind would not and does not change a thing. Truth is, no matter how we try to surround ourselves with people of our own league, it is plainly impossible not to encounter the odd lot.

    The million dollar question is… how do we deal with difficulties – especially difficult people?
    We have an excellent teacher on that. He did things unthinkable in His time when confronted with such people: the mischievous tax collector… He invited himself to his table; the notorious prostitute… He befriended; His murderers.. he forgave. All these because He was self LESS. And because He was self LESS, He can accomodate others MORE, no matter how difficult they are. Need I say more?

  49. After reading the blogs on the Topic about the difficult person and your answer i realized that my problem in a difficult person in my life were only pea size compare to all your problem.
    I guess no need to complain just Praise God that we have negative people in our lives for us to be the positive persons in their lives. God bless us all..

  50. thank’s Bo..!grabe hindi ko alam na may binibigay palang regalo ang mga taong mahirap (ung kinaaasaran ko)intindihin.I learn a lot from this article..I want to cry & shout.!Praise God for giving this kind of difficulties in life.Hindi pala bali wala ang pag titiis mo sa negative peaple soround me.thank’s Bo.. for God message you shared for me.God Bless Bo.!

  51. hi Bo,

    God is really good in all aspect in our life everything is a gift not a disaster…

  52. Thanks Bo.. Sobrang sapul ang article na to! :) Those 4 gifts are indeed true and I believe that having difficult person in our lives makes us a better person too. I hope lahat ng tao ganito ka positive.. kaya lang meron mga tao na they tend to become really bad persons when they encounter difficult persons sa buhay nila. Some even tend to kill other people or do bad things to them.. tsk tsk!
    Anyway, thank you for sharing wonderful articles and real life advices. It helped me alot! God bless!

  53. hi Bo,

    pahabol… with the difficult person in our life we learn to open up about our feelings to others and be vulnerable to theirs and ask others to help us in praying at the same time we give other s a chances to serve in their own and silent way…

  54. hi Bo…

    i love the way you compiled ol of the respondents’ answer to your questions….because i realized that that was all i need to realize indeed!!!!

    i have the meanist, or the most difficult, hard person in my life….

    but thanks 2 you… i’ve become more sensitive to others especially in dealing with them because i might also be the most difficult person in their life..

  55. Thanks for all your nice and inspiring articles….God bless you more….

  56. Dear Bo,

    You are very right! In my life, I’ve met so many difficult people and the gifts that you mentioned in your blog is really worth receiving. I myself had experienced receiving these gifts and now, I am thanking those difficulte people who made me stronger, wiser, kinder, and most of all closer to God.

    I just want to share a text message that I received yesterday, it was very inspiring..
    ” Every bad situation still have something positive. Even a stopped clock shows correct time twice a day..”

    So we just have to apply the law of focus.. and focus on the positive side of everything, and eventually, what’s positive in every bad things will grow and become evident until we can no longer see the negativity in a bad situation.


  57. This is so true..nakakagaan ng loob..Maraming salamat Bro. Bo! Your inspiring stories always left me thinking, reflecting about my life, how I deal with people..I consider reading your articles a blessing from God, because he uses you as an instrument to bring us closer to Him. Thanks again and may God bless you even more para mas marami ka pang matulungan. You’re an angel to all of us! =)

  58. Hi Bro. Bo,

    I praise and thanks God that you are always inspired us…, i am starting reading your magasines since i was in high school back in Pinas and now i have already family in my own with one son…, and still you are here with us…, all who needed your inspiration…, thank you God for giving us our brother who always enlighten us…., with the grace of Your Holy Spirit father God…, bless him and take care of him always with his team…, amen!

  59. yeah … i am one of the difficult person maybe.. but i am still loved by GOD… thanks Bro BO!.

  60. It’s so hard to accept the paintruth truth that the most difficult person in your life is the person closest and dearest to your heart, whom you hope the only person who can confide and console you during the most saddest moment of ur life, and yet to find out he’s the one giving you the spring of tears and so much pain in your heart.
    Bro Bo, it’s so difficult to undergo emotional abuse, because it is inside, a torture in your mind and heart ,and dowgrade your self-esteem.
    Thanks to your article, you ease my pain and keep on reminding me that everything has its own purpose, everything has its end, what we need is to give our full trust to the Lord, for He holds the pen to scribble the period of our sufferings. I keep on praying and please help me too, that time will come my husband would realize the worth of my existence, that at the end despite of emotional torture he inflicted i will be the one and only person who will remain standing on his side.

  61. Ang comment po ng fren ko ang pikon laging talo kaya enjoy your life .Relax lang mahal na kasi ang gamot ngayon at pacheckup sa Heart Specialist.

  62. Ive always wanted to send this but my msg just cant get thru–hope this time it’ll be sent..

    I believe God sends us difficult people because he wants us to become more patient and pattern the way we love into His way of loving. Remember, we are all difficult at some point, but He loves us still. He teaches us to practice sacrificial love because in learning this we give more value and meaning to our lives. I also think he sends us difficult people so that we can try and do our best to change them. Or to see if we are also committing similar kinds of sins so that we become more sensitive with our own attitudes. As Mahatma Gandhi said “Be the change you want to see in the world.” He sends us difficult people to polish our values more. We learn important values not easily but through hard work and difficult people are God’s instuments somehow in making this happen. :) I also want to comment on what LOVING SISTER said. I read the whole of your text because I can relate to what you said. I have the best mom in the world but my dad just never stopped cheating on her. from my first brother down to me, youngest of us four, and even up to now when he has apos. It\’s really heartbreaking. But guess what? with God\’s grace I was still able to love him and take care of him. I don\’t know how I was able to do that but God provided the love in my heart. These kinds of experiences could either BREAK or MAKE us. and I choose to make it contribute to making me a better person, to really love fully as a daughter. I\’m praying for you. Just continue loving, forgiving, and offering all the hurts to God. Before you know it, things would be a whole lot better. And even if it would take long, you would end up with no regrets because you loved your best and did all you can to save your relationship. God Bless.

  63. dear princess,

    i can totally relate with you, as i had the very same experience with the father of my child. initially, i was as hateful and really angry at everybody. i can say that until now, i am still angry (but not that hateful na masyado….hehe). but there are ways at looking at any situation, in the end, i realized that the entire ordeal was a blessing. being pregnant paved the way for me to discover the truth about his personality, his commitment, his family’s true color, and my former employer’s prejudices against single (unmarried) parents. i realized that my pregnancy saved me from a very disastrous and miserable marriage (as we were already engaged at that time).

    in the end, as i said to my father, being a single (unmarried) parent is the better decision given the circumstances.

    i have learned to appreciate more the friends that stayed with me, and the family who supported me, inspite of their misgivings and the hurt that they felt.

    as for us, and to all single parents out there…definitely, things will be better! i firmly believed, God loved me when he “scheduled” the unscheduled pregnancy —- that was his only way to stop me from a miserable life with my ex-fiance.

  64. Gift #3 proves the point that “Intelligent people learn from their own mistakes but wise people learn from other people’s mistakes”. But even wiser people learn to obey God.

    I thank God for the gifts.

  65. Hi Bro Bo, Gud pm!

    I agree with # 2 Difficult people can teach you how to protect yourself and learn to say “NO” to abuse. Before i always say yes to abuse people. Its hurt to know that the abuse people is my family his my father and my friend that doesn’t deserve to be called friend. First is my father he plays cockfighting and his a drinker also, he always use my mother to ask money to me because they dont have money to buy a food so i’ll give money without any questions because they are my family there is no reason to say no and they really in need but its painful to know that the is used by cockfighting. And now if they will ask money again to buy food dress and others i didnt give them money instead i buy them myself. 2nd my friend that doesnt deserve to be called friend, She borrow money to me because she said she will going to pay for current but sad to know that the money she borrowed was not use to pay the current instead she used it to buy new cellphone and until now she didnt pay, she borrow money again to me and i know that she will not pay it even i have money i didnt let her borrow. I learn from my mistakes and thank God that now i know who are the true friend and not and thank to my best author bro. BO i read his book 7 Secrets To Real Freedom.

    God Blessed to All!

  66. thank you bro. bo :)
    this post really helped me, I have quite a number of difficult people in my life. but you know what? I love every single one of them.

    may God bless you –and everyone– always.

  67. thank you brother Bo.. its good to know that they also help me in my life but only in a different way. even if that’s the case, i stil love them jst as God does to me..

    God bless u always Bro. Bo! :)

  68. Hello Bro. Bo! There you are again! Its another great inspiring lines that will be guide for every readers like me na napakaraming difficult person sa paligid ko. Totoo ang nabasa ko (other book) na kung kilan ka nagsisikap lumapit at mag aral sa salita ng Panginoon ay don naman lalapit ang mga taong magpapahina sayo (evil force). Now i know how to start dealing with them with the strong believed in God. Thanks Bo, Mabuhay ka and God bless…..

  69. Dear Brother bo,

    Thank you for writing this article! I guess God saw me that I’m very frustrated at this hour (by the way its already 1:00 a.m.). I just had a bad night at the wedding of my friend which was held in tagaytay awhile ago. I just didn’t like how the wedding coordinator team treated me as a guest of the bride. And I’m so frustrated why I didn’t asserted myself to that girl. I should have told her that she should treat the guests nicely and I’m so turned off on how they treated me, like there’s no respect at all! It doesn’t matter what incident that was… Good thing I was able to hold my temper in due respect to other visitor and especially for the newly wed couple. THen when I got home, I cannot sleep right away because I drank some coffee during the wedding. SObrang Hyper ako! My eyes are wide open and I’m thinking of phoning the bride the next day to get the number of that wedding coordinator so that I can get even on how they treated me. I didn’t expected that I’m going to check my mail and see the article you did…. after reading this article… I felt peace inside of me. Suddenly I felt so light and forgot the frustration I had within me. I feel like I wanted to thank God for all the love that he has shown me. I already forgot the incident that happened at that wedding… for me it doesn’t matter anymore (But I’m still going to phone my friend to ask the number of the wedding coordinator… but not to get even anymore). Everybody deserves a second chance. Peace be with you brother bro!

  70. God Bless us all, thanks for that, these blog is my outlet on pouring my unreleased emotions, and comments from others makes me relate and they make me laugh…and sometimes think that i am more blessed… thanks again.

  71. dear bro. bo,

    your article help me a lot to understand and to accept the difficult people in our lives knowing that these people are god’s gift to us. i realize that i will not be a lesser person that i am if i give in to their demands but it will make even closer to God because i do what He wills me to do.

    more power and God bless you more

  72. hi bro. bo. thanks for all the insights. it just makes us realize that all people are indeed blessings in life whether they’re the easiest or the most difficult to deal with. perhaps this is an eye opener to us to count our blessings because as you said, though these difficult people don’t change for us, we change into positive individuals for them. in fact, we tend to be pulled on the extremes since we’ve seen, heard and felt how these difficult people hurt us and we don’t want to be like them.

    God bless everyone.

  73. Hello Bro.Bo
    I thank God for all the Gift he given me all the tears the trial he gave i know that God love u..He has a purpose ..Let continue to pray….God Bless US all….and more power..God Loves Us all..

  74. thank you, I am now in the september of my life and it is only now that i get to read and enjoy your books. as they say better late than never. please continue sending me your notes.

  75. Hi Bo
    When i read ur message, it really reminds me to become more nice to a person who is rude to me. But still i believe that kill the monster with kindness. I’ve learned that distruction is part of life, enable us to learn and appreciate life. Godspeed!!!

  76. Hi Bo
    When i read ur message, it really reminds me to become more nice to a person who is rude to me. But still i believe that kill the monster with kindness. I’ve learned that distraction is part of life, enable us to learn and appreciate life. Godspeed!!!

  77. Maraming Salamat Bro.Bo!

    Ilang beses na itong nanyayari na kapag may problema ako ay sinasagot ng mga message mo. Kanina lang problemado na naman ako sa solong anak namin. She’s 16yrs old at nalaman na niya noong 12yrs old pa lang siya na siya ay adopted namin.. Kami ng husband ko ay hindi naman nagpabaya sa pag aalaga sa kanya at higit sa lahat minamahal namin siya. Kahit ang mga relatives namin ay hindi siya itinuring na iba at pinapakitaan siya ng pagmamahal . Tinatanong ko din ang sarili ko kung saan pa kaya kami nagkulang sa pag hubog sa kaniya? Pero inspite of everything na pagmamahal at pag -aaruga sa kanya ay sinasabi pa din niya na feeling rejected siya.. Maraming pasencia at pang unawa ang ginagawa namin. Minsan nga kapag sobra na siyang pasaway ay pinaghihinaan na ako ng loob sa mga nangyayari ngunit kapag nasagi sa isip ko ang sinabi mo Bro. Bo na , “Your biggest problem will be your biggest blesssings ” ay naiibsan ang aking kalooban. At eto pa ang bagong message mo na , ” difficult person in your life is a blessing”. Patnubayan nawa ako ng Panginoon na madagdagan pa ang patience, understanding and love ko para sa aking anak. Muli maraming salamat Bro. Bo, malaking tulong ka para sa akin at sa maraming pang tao. GOD bless us all…

  78. hello brother bo,

    This is really a relief for me especially right now i have received many bad comments coming from difficult people in my life. This is really inspiring, now i can go on with my life without even bothering by there comments.
    Thank you for inspiring us. God is really good having you as our brother Bo.

    God Bless Us and our country….

  79. God has His way of speaking to us and He did through Bo’s articles…. Thank you Bro. Bo for writing this article. I needed this to remind me how God has blessed me so much….

    I have always experienced dealing with difficult people at work or even at home or dealing with my relatives…

    But there is one person at work who had brought and is still bringing out the best in me. Bo, you had mentioned in your article that difficult people can teach us to become more patient, understanding and more persevering… indeed, it is true. Working with that person had helped me become organized and be more responsible in handling my job. There was also a point when I had to let her know, in such a way not to offend her, that she is negatively affecting me and the other people in the office as well. However, it did not went well as I hoped it to be. Regardless, I was glad that I was able to let her know my sentiments towards her. And I just realized then that I cannot change her but I can only change my attitude towards that person.

    Reading your article had inspired me to see beyond her negative traits…… and to know that she is also a good person ….

    Minsan naisip ko rin na baka isa rin akong difficult person para sa tao na iyon or probably with the other people around me. Siguro there are others who find it difficult to work with me or deal with me rin. Kaya I will try as much as I can to understand those people who I find it hard to deal with. I will pray that I may able to deal with them positively and to see their positive traits din….

    God bless you always…..

  80. hello brother bo,

    thankz 4 d enlightenment! God bles…

  81. Bo,

    I found one difficult person in my life. You are trully right that despite they are diffcult people she gave a gift for me that can enhance my patience and personality. Im just praying to God that someday she will realize the importance of one true friend.

    Thanks Bo


  82. Hi Bo. I wonder why my comments cant get through huhuhuh. I hope this one will.

    Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts with us. Keep inspiring people! You are indeed a blessing! Thank you!!

  83. Oh finally!! Its working! Yehey!! Now I will say my piece.

    Difficult people taught me how to be humble. I believe that all things work together for good and I know that everything happens for a reason.

    When I think of the difficult people in my life, I realized that there are still remnants of the pain and bitterness. But it doesn’t mean it will stay there always. As what Stephen Covey mentioned in his book, you can always chose your response to every situation. I chose to be thankful and pray for forgiveness. For I know all will be well! All is well!!

  84. What I love about your blogs and articles Bro Bo, is that they always serve as a wake up call :) Sometimes the answers to our questions are already in front of us, but we still need to get reminded of these. There will always be difficult people in our lives and yes, I absolutely agree, they make us closer to God because when all else fails, only God can see us through! Thank you for these insights!

  85. wow super thanks for this!!! im currently into situation na im dealing with those people and this helps me a lot in understanding and accepting them and the situation. God Bless to all! =)

  86. hi bo,

    wala kang kupas. nung college ako (kerygma was just born) and while reading your article above, i smile remembering how your stories make me feel we’ve been longtime friends. sinulat mo dati tungkol sa hirap ng buhay that you had to wear yung medyas mong sobrang wala ng garter tapos habang naglalakad ka bumababa na sa loob ng sapatos mo. your humor really made and makes me laugh…and sigh…because you’re so real, i could relate.

    no wonder after all these years (kahit di naman ako katoliko), i remain your avid friend.

    see you here in davao this week at your feast. that’ll be my first. :)

  87. your right Bo most people don’t do gift no. 2 because they think it is unchristian. so we end up victims, being abused again and the abusers free to do their way of abusing people. so called Christians don’t know when to say no to abuse, how to stop the abuse and the abusers, when to withhold forgiveness and when to give tough love. most of us just don’t know the when and the how about gift no. 2. maybe you could write a book or something about gift no. 2 and share your wisdom, knowledge and experience about this gift.

  88. Thank you so much for being there for everybody. You gave so much of yourself to uplift other people’s life. You are one of the blessings we received from God. THANK YOU SO MUCH AND GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.

  89. Thank you Bo, always thinking that the other people are the ones making my life difficult, not noticing the difficulty I caused them.

    Now I know their value and I will use it to work well in improving myself .

  90. Hi Brother Bo,

    May God bless you and may His Holy Spirit keep guiding you and your team now and forever…………

    I learned a lot………., i taught marami akong mga difficult person around me……, pero i realized how difficult i am to them too………

    I learned to be more prayerful, patience, humble and most especially to say “NO” to the abuser…, gift #2…, thank you brother Bo…, bait ni God talaga…

    God bless!

  91. Hi Bro. Bo! Your article was emailed to me by an officemate and I really think it was a BIG blessing passed on…. it was sent on the perfect time as I am dealing with a difficult person in my life for seven years now – my husband.. There are days he is ok but when his jealoue tendencies spark up… its my nightmare.. He does not hurt me physically but very much emotionally… I always end up taliking to God and asking why I was given a difficult person…. I felt alone and now, thanks to your article I feel relieved that its not only me but there are others out there who has difficult persons to deal with.. I pray that GOD bless you more that you may continue to touch the life of others… again, thank you for giving me a new perspective on difficult persons!

  92. perfect message, there are lot of guys out there falls into this category and you never when and where gonna meet them. as a child of God, redeemed by the blood of the Lamb, save by His love. We all brothers and sisters in Christ need to be courageous, spirit filled, need to stand up and never ever give in to bullies of those difficult persons we come accross. we all have the most powerful protector on our side, the Holy Spirit ready to protect us in all ways.
    God bless to all

  93. God Bless Bro. Bo.
    I would like to thank you for everything even you dont know me but you help me a lot, specially your book ” PAST DOES NOT DEFINE YOUR FUTURE ” i could say that it really open my eyes of what life is…

    Dealing difficult people is hard when we would not face it. we may be hurt but we learned, we may be insulted but we gain profit, we may be step down but we learned to lift up. difficult people is like a subjects in our life like when we are in school. we always fell if we dont want to learn, that is also difficult people do teach us to learn. learn new things.
    we may be afraid but it gave us stregnth and help us to know our self. that is why Jesus is always gaver us trials, challanges, difficult journey coz he want us to know that in times of our downs he was their for us. he was just waiting.

  94. Yes bro bo, how great is our GOD.

    just like you’ve preached before.

    Your BIGGEST problems, just wait and it will be your BIGGEST blessings..

    Parang yun yung sinabi mo but I know the thought was there naman.

    Everything happens by GOd’s will and purposes!!!

    GOdspeed to all…

  95. thank you bec you reminded me to be more forgiving and be always forgiving. please pray for me because i really want to stay away with the difficult people in my life, be a loving and a secured person and to start a new and new relationships. I want to gain much love and security in myself, in God and in life. I want to have loving people in my life – friends, adults, siblings.

  96. bo, this article is so great ..
    it is indeed a great help for me. especialy here in abroad, where there are too many difficult people too handle..
    GOdbless you Bo and ur family as well
    i know i can handle these people here, for the Lord is my refuge..
    thanks Bo..

  97. hi bro bo!
    sbrang swak ang message mo na ito, currently i’ve experienced a very difficult “persons”, im a flight attendant and during my flight to london naubos tlga ang pasensya ko. usually b4 d flight pinagprapray ko lht ng passengers ko and my colleagues, but this flight was a different one. we had many (indians)on the flight, if ur working w/ them mapipikon k tlga kc they are so bossy, demanding and nde nakaka appreciate to d things you do.
    this article is so amazing and im realy thnkful na nabasa q ito. after d flight nagsorry aq ky lord for feeling that way, kht nde aq nagdidiscriminate, i can’t help it. they really not nice and very rude. but thnks to this article kc now i will knw how to handle it and it will bring me closer to God.
    thanks bro. Bo, i hope u could also visit here at Abudhabi. May God continue to bless u coz ur really a blessing. (by the way, all ur articles helped and inspired me to became the person that i am right now) tnx Bro Bo.

  98. You’re very right. There’s always positive light in every difficult experiences.

    Thanks Bo..

    You’re God’s blessing to us.

  99. I made a termagant, manipulative, dominating classmate of mine my friend bec. she’s always befriending me and is the only one who is available. So despite knowing her personality flaws, i consented to be her best friend, even allowing her to be my neighbor. Being her neighbor, I realized how much of a difficult person she is. Finally, I was able to tell her off gently. Now, I don’t have to pretend I like her or go out with her against my wishes. However, I often ask myself if it is a sin to ignore her. But Im polite and still receives her mail.

  100. Bro. Bo, I’ve experienced these kind of people and I know there will be more of them but I know, I will always know, that God let things like this happen to make us better. And I want to have this opportunity to thank you. My classmate in college lent me a copy of your book “You Have The Power To Create Love” (actually two books yun, I forgot the other one). I found your books so comfortable to read. They were never boring. You make it easy for us to relate (Yeah there said, “Bo shares common stories with uncommon wisdom.”) I just wanted to ell you that after I’ve read your books, that’s when I started working on my spirituality FOR REAL. I started looking and accepting things in a brighter way. Yun, I just wanted to tell, how much you’ve helped me. I’m still on my growth process and really, it is never easy. But I know I can do this. :)

  101. I still don’t know how will i change this difficult person in my life, my husband. It’s been years and still ganun pa rin siya. I found out last 2003 when we were still bf and gf that he didn’t finish school and just pretended to go to school. He wasted 4 years and fooled me and his family. I forgave him and gave him another chance. So, he enrolled in several schools and as always, he ended up not finishing the course. Last year, i got pregnant and got married. During that time he was enrolled in a nursing school. Three months after i gave birth to our son i found out that he doesn’t go to school again. It broke my heart. I was so sad and had post partum depression. My hair falled out like crazy. I was crying everyday, every night. I prayed so hard. We separated for almost a month and eventually forgave him agai for the sake of our family. He said that he will change. May this year, he enrolled in a computer school and just a few days a go. I found out that he’s not going to school again. I’m just so tired of our situation. I’ve been a “tanga”, “baliw”, “martyr”, whatever you may wanna call it. I’ve been juggling work and motherhood. I thank God for giving me such wonderful, understanding and supportive parents. Right now! I’m at loss. I don’t know what to do with him anymore.

  102. Hi Bo,

    We found our way to your blog when an office mate of ours sent the link. We were having tests (!) of patience in the office and this really helped. Thanks for sharing these wonderful paradigms.


  103. Hello Bro Bo…

    thank you…i can relate to this thing…
    a week ago my classmate in high school confronted me via email that i “wrecked her life”…and i almost crush myself to the ground…i feel so guilty and i admit it..i have sinned…a great sin…but what saves my tears and what makes me continue to smile even if i can picture the worst side of me (because i spread gossips about her…my unstoppable mouth…i reaaly realize how sinful i am)

    thanks to your book…

    your past does not define your future…


    Jonah Eliza

  104. greetings!

    as i read the article i was hit because yesterday i was a diffucult person to my classmates….. i felt ashmed as i read it which makes me realize to ask an apology to them…..

    thank you for the reminders……

    thank for always sharing yur thought to us…..

  105. […] How To Deal With Difficult People Without Going Insane […]

  106. Great post. I think the most difficult person in my life is my greatest treasure. : )

  107. I’ve just read your article this morning (because its Ramadan and its a holiday) and I like this particular article because we all have experienced dealing with difficult people or sometimes we are being difficult to others.

    But I guess the most diffcult person one has to deal with is to deal with your own family member because you see them everyday. In my case, it is my own father. My father, by all means, is a good father. He is a good provider and don’t drink, smoke, womanize. Unlike any fathers in our age, he never gets involve into any illicit affaris. Sounds like an ideal father, right? The trouble is: my father is not only a perfectionist, he is very domineering. He shouts at you, saying all painful words to me or to my sibling and especially to my mother. Every small mistake he will turn it into a huge thing. During fights with my mother, he will drag the issue into weeks, sometimes into months shouting and saying painful words like wala kang kwenta or yan ba ang tinuro sayo ng tatay mo or wala kang silbi etc. he would wake my mother up at 3am and shout at her, saying wala kang kwenta…for weeks. when its me naman he would say words frases like katulad ka ng mama mo ang tanga walang modo tarantado or any words or phrases that would made you think if he really loves you or not. I even rememeber quite vividly when I was 8 or nine years old that he kicked the door when he is mad and even hit my mother once. All of these we indure for years and has formed deep scars in my character and my life.

    But I thank the Lord for giving me my mother who is so patient and understanding. Although she has her own failings she would always tell us that we have to love our father even if he is difficult. Through her, we knew that my father also have difficult issues in his young life and that it just passed on to us. Sometimes I cried on my lonesome on why my mother wold accept such degradation and inhumane treatment because my mother is just a simple housewife and she seldoms go out the house and devotes all of her life to us. She seldom (as in very seldom like once or twice a year!) going out with my titas titos or friends and she is doing all the chores.

    All of these experiences in my life have deeply affected my way of dealing with other people. I became cold to people, although I’m not a bully, I always spend my time in school alone. All of my teenage life and young adult life i never courted any girl or anybody I’m interested in because everytime I go home its the same scene and I just cannot form any lasting realationships. Christmas is like Semana Santa to me and Semana Santa is like a horror event. When somebody took an interest in me, instead of talking to her I repelled to a point that they thought I’m mayabang or aloof not knowing that I always feel inferior and I just don’t want them to stay near me because they are too good for me, too happy and light, too positive that I don’t deserve an iota of that.

    Despite all of these, my greatest thanks is that at least I know the Lord and I believe that He understands my pain and loves me just as He loves my parents and all of us for that matter. Although it would take time for me to heal I know that all of these has an end and things can change. In fact, things indeed have changed. These past year I noticed my father has mellowed down, smile more and laugh more. Although he still has this thing of shouting and hurling painful words I noticed that its has reduced significantly. On my part, I keep on trying to heal myself and make my life a bit easier. I try not to be too serious and I hang out with new friends more often. I also trying my best to forgive everybody and everything that I’ve experienced, including myself because without it I might ended up living in an asylum.

    When it comes to marriage and family, I still have this fear and uncertainty because I noticed that I’m becoming just like my father, mainitin ang ulo. I’m praying to God that He gave me a sign whether to be forever single or to get married because what is more important to me is that whatever path I would choose, it must be the path that wold lead me to Him and not away from Him. Right now, I met an aquaintance that I seem to be interested in, problema lang nga sobrang bata pa sa akin but she is at age na. I’m in a crossroad that I hope God can show me the way.

    Well, thats all for now with my telenovela (hahahaha). Life goes on for me and I hope that this time, things can get better. God bless you Bo

  108. Nice article.
    I meet 2 difficult persons in my life, and before i read this article, i already exploded, and i deleted them in the list of my friends.
    But through one of them’s blog, i read this post. They copied this article.
    Nice one. I’m now thinking if i will going to reconcile with them. Thanks!
    Hurts are abit fading.

  109. Thanks you Bro. Bo for this inspiring article..

    As I read this article i realise that I am so blessed having with difficult people….It keeps me closer to god.

    God bless us always

  110. I am feeling okay reading this article.
    I came to a realized not to give up on life and to God regardless of how painful dealing with people surrounding me.

    I hope God can give me extra courage to still hold on.
    Dealing with domineering mother, violent father, insecure neighbors and selfish friend is hard, but there is a good reason why I have them.

    Thank God I am still not mental =P

    I am now drying my tears, thanks po to you Bro Bo and to this article. =)

  111. hi bro. Bo!
    thanks for your articles! yap.. I agree with you..thats the wonderful gifts,despite of having a difficult person in life God really have a purpose..
    may you include me and my family to have a growing and strong faith despite of having difficult person in life..
    God Belss…

  112. dealing with difficult people is not easy but by reading little by little of evrything makes me feel good on how to deal wth them…i would just take a deep breath and evrything will be ok…

  113. Dear Kris,

    I share the same sentiments. My roommate din ako na sobrang competitive and lahat na lang ginagaya nya. As in sa lahat ng bagay. She always feels this need to have whatever I have, kahit nga may sakit ako, she pretends na may sakit din sya, and if I’m in a relationship, she makes sure na meron din sya. And yeah, her being difficult makes me pray a lot. I feel guilty because I feel bitter towards her and I simply cannot accept her personality. Hirap na hirap na ako. I want to talk to her to tell her everything that’s in my heart but I’m afraid I’ll crush her. I want to move to a different apartment but due to some financial constraints, I couldn’t do it. She is a very good pretender. She shows everyone that she’s sweet, kind and humble and that it’s me who bullies her, pero kapag kami na lang dalwa, sobrang maldita! I don’t know what to do anymore.

  114. Hi Bro. Bo… Salamat po sa article na ito, medyo nabawasan stress ko sa trabaho…hehehe.. Thanks po… This is exactly what I need specially sa nature ng work ko.. Thank you so much sa lahat ng nag comment.. nakarelate din ako.. (^^,)

  115. Hi Brother Bo. I’ve been reading Kerygma since I was a kid and it’s such a delight that your articles now are just a click away. I agree to some comments above. Sometimes, we tend to be a difficult person to other people, too. There was a time when I was so difficult to deal with – always angry, nagging, demanding, cursing, etc. I used to be a happy girl. But I became bitter after a series of unfortunate events in my life and broken relationships. After realizing that I’m already hurting the people dear to me, I started reflecting and praying. God works in mysterious ways. I was able to repair some damage that has been done. It required hard work. And there were some people that I needed to cut off from my life because they’re the cause of my bitterness. I learned a lot and try to become a blessing to others. And everytime I encounter a difficult person now, I just smile and remember that once in my life, I was in his/her shoes. And I’m grateful to our Lord for giving me a chance to change.

    Thank you, Brother Bo. May you inspire more. God bless you.

  116. Dear Bo,

    I love this article i have this kasama na super ever to the highest level of difficult attitude. Pag hindi nasusunod nagagalit. As in everything you don’t wish attitude na sa kanya. Unconsiderate, insultador in a way- bastos. Bottomline nakatiis ako sa kanya. And I dont know how long it’ll last pa. But one thing’s for sure- the Good Lord always gave me the highest level of patience and believe it or not, i see things that one day ill get ahead of that person.

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