I’ve talked to thousands of couples having problems. Looking back on all of them, I’ve identified the most common cause of marital troubles.
It’s not adultery. It’s not alcoholism. It’s not addictions. It’s not the in-laws. It’s not money. (This comes close!)
All of the above are real problems.
But they’re not the top causes of marital strife.
What is the most common reason for marriage problems?
Here it is: Husbands and wives aren’t kind to each other. I’m not kidding.
Plain, simple, decent, regular kindness will solve a lot of marital problems. The Bible says, “Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman” (Proverbs 21:9, NKJV).
Contentious means argumentative, but it also means bitter, unforgiving, and negative.
In other words, someone who isn’t kind.
Here’s the truth: Sometimes, we’re kinder to our office mates and friends than to our spouse, our kids, our siblings, or even to our parents.
To single women looking for a mate, I have an important advice for you worth a million dollars: Look for a person who is kind to his parents and siblings. Chances are very high that he’ll be kind to his wife one day.
Let me talk about that old-fashioned virtue of kindness.
‘We Will Be the First One to Go to the Sun’
One day, an American, a Russian, and a Filipino were talking.
The Russian said, “We were first in space!”
The American said, “We were first on the moon!”
The Filipino said, “So what? Haven’t you been reading the newspaper? Our economy is doing very well. Mark my words, the Philippines will be a First World country. And we will be the first one on the sun!”
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. “You idiot, you can’t land on the sun!” The Russian said, “You’ll burn up!” The Filipino said, “I’m not stupid. We’ll go there at night!”
God’s Kindness Is Like the Sun
I told you that story to make you laugh.
But also to tell you that God’s kindness is like the sun. It’s always there for you, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.
The Bible says, “His steadfast love is new every morning.” Perhaps you’re having problems right now.
And you don’t feel the kindness of God.
Your marriage isn’t doing well.
You’re buried under a mountain of debt.
Your kids are going astray.
Your body is sick.
When we have problems, we don’t feel the kindness of God. But it doesn’t mean that God isn’t kind. It just means it’s nighttime, but God’s kindness is still shining.
In another part of your world, it’s daytime! Soon, your night will pass. Your trials will pass. Your burdens will pass.
And you’ll see the first rays of the morning sun break through the darkness of your problems.
PS. Are You A Parent?
Are you thinking about Homeschooling for your kids?
My wife and I have homeschooled our two boys.
Looking back, it’s one of the BEST decisions we’ve ever made.
It gave us the space to pass on our values.
It also gave them space to explore their passions and interests.
If you want to know more about homeschooling and to find out if it is for your kids, check out this link: www.facebook.com/CFAHomeschool
