Do You Have a Difficult Person in Your Life?
“Lord, help me to bless people today.”
That’s my daily morning prayer… uh, when I’m happy.
And usually, I am.
But once in awhile, I don’t wake up happy.
And usually, it’s because of a difficult person in my life.
That’s when I pray, “Lord, how can I bless this… this… this… creature?”
I’m a very patient person, so this doesn’t happen too often.
But it happens.
Friend, do you have a difficult person in your life?
And do you sometimes want to pray, “Lord, if you will allow it, let a 50,000 megawatt bolt of lightning strike (Name of Difficult Person) right now. Not to kill him, Lord. Just enough to wake him up and give him second degree burns. Just kidding Lord, but with all due respect, what were you thinking when you created this pathological human being? I don’t want to sound offensive, but were you sleeping on the job when you created this creature? He’s a mess. He’s a composite of all the villains of Spiderman put together….”
Do you sometimes wonder if this difficult person heard God in the middle of the night say, “My child, your ultimate mission in life is to be difficult. That’s the entire purpose of your existence. You shall be the thorn in someone’s flesh. Do everything in your power to annoy him. Be irresponsible. Or be demanding. Or be totally negative. Or be selfish. Or be constantly angry. Or be possessive. Or be always depressed. It doesn’t matter. Your objective is to make his life hell on earth.”
Yes, I must admit that I don’t like a few unlovable characters here and there, but generally, I think the Almighty has done a fantastic job inventing human beings.
I also believe that God allows difficult people to come into our lives to give us very special gifts. What could these gifts be?
I’m going to try something new today. Instead of writing down what these gifts are, I’m going to ask YOU to write them on the comments below. Write your thoughts and experiences and share them to the world. Thousands will be reading them. And in my next email next week, I’ll tell you what I think they are…
Cool?
Thank you!
May your dreams come true,
Bo Sanchez
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Filed under: Relationships, Blogs by bosanchez
yes, I have this supervisor who’s very mean……I mean really really mean…….that all of her staff doesn’t like to see or to talk to her……including me……and that’s the reason i chose to work during nights……so that i don’t have to see her…..but unfortunately i still have to see her in the morning before i leave……so not much of a choice, is there!!!!!!! So everytime i see her i just give her my best smile (plastic!!!!) and i just pray to the Lord ”Lord kayo nang bahala sa kanya……sana i-touch Nyo po ang puso nya” …..ganon lang!!!! Pero sa totoo lang inis na inis at bwisit na bwisit tlaga ako sa kanya….pero nagso-sorry naman ako kay Lord sa nararamdaman ko sa kanya….pero wala talaga akong magawa eh! Ang tindi talaga nong taong yon…..feeling ko ng magsabog ang Diyos ng kabutihan sa mundo eh…..isang botelyang sleeping pills ang ininom nya……hehehe!!!!!
When my dad told me during my 22nd bday that he had an affair with another girl (a flight stewardess), that shook me to my limits. I went to work crying and answered calls with a terrible voice. I kept it to myself since my dad asked me to do so…I kept my promise for so many years because I want my family to be intact. I told myself, that I know he can change and that he has been a good provider to us; not until last year before I turned 27. I think it was last May when someone texted my mom telling her that my dad is “babaero.” When my mom told me about it, I went to my room asking myself if im gonna tell my mom and my younger sister about it. I was so shocked. I thought my dad would end it. But I was terribly wrong. He had an online affair with probably 3 ladies and I am not sure if he was able to meet those girls in person. It broke my heart and spirit. My dad lied to me. He was my idol. I know he is great dad. =( but maybe I was wrong.
Well anyway, I asked my mom to just ignore the text messages, but she said NO because “I know your dad and I know he’s been doing this for so long now.”
Yeah, in short my dad is a womanizer. =( But my mom ignored that attitude and remained faithful and loving to my dad. She cooks everyday, takes good care of the house, etc.
last year, I told my younger sister (25 yrs old) that I know dad had an affair way back when I was still 22 yrs old. She got so mad and cursed me so much. She told me that I lied to her and to my mom. I explained to her that I just want to keep this family intact and I thought dad can change it. She can she can never forgive me and she even texted my dad saying “kahit kelan hindi ako maniniwala sa mga pinagsasabi mo dahil puro ka kasinungalingan.”
After that incident, my sister never uttered a word to me. I wrote her an email, apologized for so many times and explained my side but I got no reply at all. =( It broke my heart and spirit to the point that I got so freaking mad at her and that I dont really want to see her. Sometimes when I see her, I wanted to cry and hug her so tight and tell her Pls understand. But she’s a tough woman..so strong.
Because of that incident, I’ve learned to ignore her. But deep in my heart, I just CAN’T. I love her. =( Pls pray for me.
When I ask God for answers He sends one promptly. Thank you Bo!
I have been ministering to a diificult person for over a month now and everyday I pray to God that He guide me and give me His wisdom so I can be an effective minister to this person. I am in the verge of giving up on him kasi nga saradong sarado ang puso at galit sa mundo…tsk. But through the course of our conversations, I have learned to stretch my patience on him. Sana nga lang lahat ng mga pangaral ko at mga salita ng Diyos na shared ko sa kanya ay tumimo na sa puso niya at magkaroon na siya ng kaliwanagan ng puso at isip. Siguro nga po in God’s time He will be the person God wants him to be.
Lord, by the wisdom and power of your Holy Spirit, please continue to guide me as I minister to this difficult person. Amen..
Thank you Jesus. Thank you Bo.
Difficult people give us Gift of Understanding and Courage..
For me, it takes a broad mind to understand difficult people.. If we can only know their story bat sila nagkakaganon, then we will understand. We will be even thankful for them because through them, we became tough.. esp if they are your superior sa work..
I had a supervisor before in my first office work. She is so moody, very sensitive (and insensitive) stubborn and very much like of emma’s boss (the comment above =)) My first two weeks sa work, I always cry tlga everytime I go home..
I was able to stay more than one year from that company when I was assigned to a different supervisor. When I came back to her supervision, naku I decided to call it quits na, she even beg me to stay until Xmas, eh Sept pa lang nun..
When I resigned, I feel so blessed. I am still thankful I met her, coz she made me stronger in a way.. I learned din na hiwalay pla siya sa asawa so maybe that causes her to be irritable most of the time.. =)
I have had my share of difficult persons in my life. Those type that will use you and take all the credit for all the good things you’ve done and blame you for not so good decisions they make. Those who cannot take responsibility and be accountable for their own actions, like two bosses I had. It’s a good thing that despite of them, I love my job, enjoyed what I do and I have friends in the office that makes my situation a bearable. And I know deep in my heart that despite all of them God is good and He will redeem me from all of them. I just need to constantly pray and asked the grace of God to be patient and be more understanding.
Right now my life is a little easier because we had a reorganization and I was transferred to a unit where my current boss is very supportive of me. I know this is redemption!! Praise God!
A Difficult person in my life
Yes unluckily husband k o yun. Just last night nag away kami, i had discovered a text message from a girl, na alam kong babae niya and naka imply na ngkikita sila. I was so depressed that night na prang gusto kong sumabog. He hurted me physically, sumakit nga ang katawan ko. But I just prayed na sana the Lord will change his personality, mainitin kasi ang ulo niya.Since nagkaroon kami ng big problem, dun nagstart ang pagiging mainitin ang ulo niya, naninigaw, nagmumura, but i still accept him coz i love him and also for my 2 kids. But just the other night he abused me physically i cried all night. But pinatwad ko din siya.
I believe that God allows difficult people to come into our lives so we learn how to discern, fight temptation, have an extra challenging job of loving, be more prayerful, learn how to pray for our “enemies”, stretch our virtues of patience, learn the art of saying “no”, letting go and complete surrender.
Patience, definitely. Also, dealing with difficult people helps me to learn how to love more, because it’s easy to love the easy-to-love people, but the difficult people requires extra effort to do so.
i believe that God sends difficult people in our lives to give us the special gift of patience, understanding, unconditional love and faith.
when my bf broke up with me last feb, i was totally devastated.he was my world and we built our dreams together by coming here in singapore. but then he changed his mind without any signal thats somethings wrong and somethings bothering him about our relationship. i felt helpless, worthless and useless. i was not myself for a month and was struggling between work and adjustments. he left me without even caring where ill stay and what ill do. but i never gave up. i turned to God because i still believe He is with me and will never abandon me. it was during that point in my life that everything changed. my heart changed. God grant me the grace to endure every pain and to continue loving inspite of what he did. i have never been patient, understanding, loving, hopeful and faithful in my whole life. he was the most difficult person that came to my life but yet i still love up until now. though i wont be able to show it to him anymore but i believe in my heart that God is also healing him and God will grant my hearts desires in His own perfect time.
however difficult that person maybe. we should always continue to pray for them because they too are hurting and they need healing. we are lucky because we have faith in God. we should ask God to use us to be instruments of their healing
God Bless us all!
Yeah….I do have one co- employee here that seldom do open himself to others…not so special child. Before he was close to me, I always praise him with his works bcause he is very good in his profession. There are times that I am the only person who understands his thoughts and personality, but it came to a point that even I got fed up because of his way of delivering hurting words. In short, we are not in good terms as of this moment. I tried to open up, humble myself to create another bridge of communication. We had a team up in a conference in Singapore, I tried again to initiate a conversation but nothing happened, he always wanted to be a loner. Although as a believer and a follower of Christ, I must not surrender….but I need guidance from this, God is Good, Always! He will make a way , the best one!
Hi Bro Bo,
I’ve experience numerous difficult persons and situations in my life, especially when it comes to family and work. You know what, it’s also a learning experience for me because encountering these difficult beings also opened my eyes to my own weaknesses and strengths. I guess when you personally encounter the Lord, His Love manifests also on you so that it is easier to love the unlovable persons around kasi di na love na nag gagaling sa iyo ang kaya mong maibigay sa kanila pero ang Love, Mercy and Forgiveness na nanggagaling din kay Lord na ibinibigay din niya sa akin and kaya ko ng maibigay sa kanila.
I have a boss; lets name him Papi..
All i can say he’s hell bad, all he thinks is himself, he’s such a coward and does not know how to manage his people, all he does is this when he’s cornered:
Sino bang boss mo?
When he feels his being taken personally and felt disrespected when his staff blows their steam behind his back, he says:
I don’t even get an apology?
When he signs or approves over something and then the upper group of managers disregard it he says:
i told you should have done this?
He is such a boss who wants everything done for him, he often says I have alot of things to do… when the truth is we often see him browsing the internent and the big YAHOO is on screen…
he loves to keep on commenting on our works, destructive criticism is his method…
I showed him friendship but its obvious he pays us back with sh*t…
I’ve had a share of meeting difficult people in life too… a lot of them, for that matter… But each difficult person taught me something and helped me NOT to be a difficult person for others too… I learned to be patient, more understanding, be calm in difficult situations, and be more loving even to the unlovalbes… I learned a lot from those “difficult people” I’ve met… They may be not that “difficult” after all… These people may just bring complexities in our lives, but they are God’s gifts to us so we can learn from them, and stop being “difficult people” as well…
i could say that the difficult person in my life was a man whom i love so much… its been 7 years since i started loving him. I am in a relationship with other guy right now, but then my boyfriend went abroad starting to build our future. After three months of leaving me, the man this man that i consider the difficult person in my life, started to txt me again and kept on asking me for a date.. I can’t refuse to his offer cause i know in myself that i want to go with him. He is the most difficult person in my life, because he is giving me the care that i want, he has been too sweet to me, acting like my boyfriend, but then, he doesn’t want to settle things on both of us.. He doesn’t want a relationship and i don’t know if he truly loves me or if he is just flirting with me.. It’s so hard in my part cause i know that i have been so unfaithful with my boyfriend. I just prayed that this difficult guy in my life leave me and if he really loves me, then who should have commit his self to me… i just pray that everything would be fine.. and i just pray that may the difficult person in my life may realize how much he hurts me…
i have an officemate who keeps on asking me about my salary and i find it difficult dealing with her because for me, that matter is a confidential thing. Also, she’s the type of person who pinpoints my negative traits and sometimes I lose my patience towards her. The last thing I need is a friend who only sees the bad things in me. I remember my mom telling me, if you do not have anything nice to say it’s better to keep your mouth shut.
i hope God touches her soul, sometimes she rilly pisses me off.
i had this only brother who had been such a difficult person to deal with…hed been to drugs, stealing other peoples properties (us, included), been with bad companies, involved with a fight, impregnated someone..ugh..he had given us such a hell of a life.. hed been into a lot of bad things and perhaps things we dont know of..
i alwez ask for God’s guidance and prayer to help him change his ways..hopefully,in due time he will come to see and realize what a mess he is..what a nuisance he is..God,i pray that he will come to his right senses and do a huge and radical change of his lifestyle..please help me pray foy my brother…we are 5 in the family and hes the only boy among the siblings.
i have one…i dont know him personally.were just know each other because of multiply.he is an agnostic..so we always have an argument with religion and God…but since ive met him..i also started praying for him..slowly, building a relationship with him and asking God’s guidance…
difficult people makes me become patient and draw me more closer to God. whenever i encountered difficult people i always pray that God will give me patience and understanding and shower me His grace and mercy whenever i give in to temptation to fight back. and i also pray for them that God will have mercy on them give them enlightenment. but sometimes they really sinked in to my nerves that i just want to disappear and wish that i never met them or i’m not part of them. (what makes me angry is when our minds don’t meet and plans keep on changing… it really makes me sad.)
Once, I was had a very difficult person that I worked with. But it turned out to be my “life instructor”, at that depressing moment when I worked with him I learned important basic facts in life;
1. Little knowledge could be dangerous
2. You must have a grass root of knowledge and faith
3. Stand-up and don’t give up
4. Talk to people especially those working down your line you will learn so many things from them
5. Be honest
I applied everything good that I learned from him and I became successful with my carreer. I thanked God for allowing me to worked with him and I believe that in every circumtances He has purpose…be positive and keep an open mind.
For the difficult persons in my life, God has given me the gift of “LOVING UNCONDITIONALLY”. Regardless of the pain and hurts they have caused me, loving them still would mean accumulating great reward points in heaven. Perhaps, after a long time, those points would be enough to exchange for one big suite in heaven.
I do have a difficult person in my lift. Lets name her Cecile. She is my office mate and uses sex and intimidation and tantrums to get her way around the office. Most people working with her find her difficult to work with because she is very unapproachable and would usually not be willing to help if the work would be inconvenient for her. The problem is she is the key person for a sub group of our company. She has only one purpose in our company now, to serve as a very bad example.
God allows difficult people to come into our lives to teach us to be more loving, caring and understanding. They will help us practice to be patient and they can push us to the limit that then will help us realize our great capacity to love and accept them.
I’ve met different difficult people. Minsan hindi ko na maintindihan why do they need to be like that. if they are happy making other people’s life miserable. Are they aware na nakakasakit sila or nakaka-annoy? I also pity them at times kasi its very hard for a lot of people to understand them. Parang kulang na kulang yung love, understanding and acceptance na nararamdaman nila and it is just so sad.
God allows us to learn how to fend for ourselves when He gives us difficult people in our lives. An older friend once told me that if you have a person in your life who brings out the worst in you, you should stir clear of that person because your relationship cannot be a healthy one.
I maintain relationships with people who are not high maintenance, and also believe in equality in relationships. I simply will not tolerate a friendship with someone who likes putting me down, to make him/herself feel better.
I am renting an apartment with my fiance’s ex-colleague (girl) and her sister. For one year, we are sharing rent and utilities.
Last Feb, my BF had to go abroad. Thinking about us (his roommates), he agreed that he will continue sharing with the rent this year so we dont have to worry about his share. Our rent is 12K, so we share 3K each. He will do that until we get another housemate.
The first day my fiance left, her colleague brought her cousin in the house. At first, she will stay there for 3-4 times a week. Until i noticed that in another month, she was constantly in our home, as in literally living there while my fiance is still paying his share. I was never informed that her cousin will be living there, so I asked. My housemate told me it will be just temporary. Then, come another month, the cousin was still there. She works in a call center agent so she stays in the house in the morning till around 8PM. That contributes to our bill.
Then, my housemate informed me her cousin wanted to give a share but cannot afford the 3K. So I informed my fiance and he suggested a 60-40 share between them. I told this to my housemate and then she said she will just pay 3K since it may not be fair with my fiance. Then I asked her if that is OK. From then on, I got no reply. That happened a month ago. And until now, we are not in good terms. We live in the same house but we dont talk.
I see her as a difficult person since I am not really sure if I was unfair to her. Is it wrong if her cousin pays for the rent since she is living in our apt? My fiance, i think was good enough to suggest a 60-40 (cousin’s share is 60) since he practically dont live here.My housemate didnt even respect me to say beforehand that someone else will be living in our apt. It is not about the 3K. My fiance was willing to pay for that. My point is, her cousin was literally living there, should it not be fair if she pays for the share?
Another thing, they are really messy in the house. They have a room but they stay and sleep in the sala. Their mattresses are there all day all night. Used plates, utensils, glasses stand by the sink. Same with the kawali, saingan, and all. Pati wrappers of biscuits, candies, etc, kung saan saan ngkalat. They hardly clean to think they occupy the first floor. Sa totoo lang, parang room na nga lang un nirerent ko sa apt namin…tapos sila pa un may ganang magalit at mgdabog.
At first, i was really mad, as in. Gusto ko ngang patulan, gusto ko ding mgdabog. Gusto kong magkalat. eventually, I realized that is not the proper way. After all, anong fulfillment naman ung makukuha ko dun. I just prayed na sana one day, we’ll be OK. I initiated na nga e, i texted her, i told her sana mgkausap kmi para wlang assumptions. I called her also pero pinapatay nya ung fone. I did my part, and i think I am OK on that. Kung ayaw nya, ano pa bang magagawa ko.
I honestly dont think na may fault ako. Again, it is not about the money, un lng respect and fairness among everyone ung point ko.
I just live each day. Iwasan hanggat maiiwasan ung mga housemates. Then pray na sana maging OK din.. or at least be civil.
Natutunan ko… do your part to communicate or at least makapagusap kayo ng difficult person in life. Pero after doing your part and she remains cold, be a prayer warrior n lng. God’s help is needed na talaga
Pardon if it is too long. Tagal ko na kseng tinatago to, thanks for this, i have a venue to blurt it out.
it’s so true!
He brings “difficult” people into our lives for a PURPOSE.
i’m a med student and in my school, we are arranged alphabetically. in my particular grp, i have a lot of “difficult” people for different reasons.
some of them are stubborn, some do as minimal a work as they can (which leaves patients poorly under-managed), some don’t show up for duties & so you end up shouldering their work, some can’t do anything on their own & ask you for everything (to the point of dropping their responsibility on your lap)!
and i am STUCK with them till the end of internship (around two years from now).
my other classmates (when assigned to work with them) complain about their laziness & marvel at how I manage.
but little do they know, that it WAS a struggle for me (until now) NOT to lose my patience & to see beyond my group’s bad habits into their reasons behind their lack of motivation.
i “handle” each member of my group as “Christian-like” as I can - adhering to my own principles & setting the limits but being as understanding & patient & humble as gritted teeth & hastily-whispered prayers would allow. (All this done most times in anger & frustration)
And although for most part of this year, I kept complaining to my friends why God allowed such people (and the worst kinds of people) to be in my group, I wasn’t complaining at the end of the year (oddly enough).
I’m actually looking forward to working with them next year. I know they haven’t turned around completely but they’ve seen me work with them, seen how much I care about them - not just because my grades also depend on their performance - but because I care about our work & about our patients.
Once in a while, I even take time to talk to them, friend to friend.
I think I couldn’t have done this without constant prayers for Grace and Wisdom and Discernment.
As I read in one prayer before, “Keep praying about difficult people in your life. They may not change, but YOU will..”
From the time I’ve discovered how corrupt, demanding & domineering my boss is, I’ve decided that I want a new job. I can say I’m a good follower, but if I know that my leader is heading the wrong direction, I am no longer motivated. I have to admit I became stubborn and hot-headed with my co-employees for the reason that I’m angry with what my boss is doing. Even if I love my work, it’s hard for me to wake up every morning knowing that I will face that person. I’ve always asked God to help me love the unlovables. Everytime I pray that, only one person is in my head, that is, who else, but him. I’ve applied for several companies before just to escape from his control but sad to say, all had been negative applications. But in time, I’ve learned not to be affected by that difficult person. I just let God do His ways in him. I cannot change him, but I can change myself. Now, I only have a week here and I’ll be transferring in a new work. =) It feels good that I’m leaving this company not to run away from him. I believe God used my boss so I can be a better person.
Dear Bro Bo:
Christ’s Peace!
As what they say, ” you can’t please everybody” no matter how you humble you are. We can’t forced them to like us or even ourselves to them…but God is so great! For He is always there to make everything possible. I believe that no matter how hypocrite a person is, still he has that positive traits, maybe we just need to give him chance in some situation. I have experience so many times different dificult people in my life, but still I never considered them as a totally bad person, instead I lift up them to God to touch thier hearts and clear thier minds that in His due time these people will realize that they’re not in right track of life what God wants us to go. I just keep on praying that God will give me more patience and more strengths to understand these kind people instead of fighting them back or running from them, I can bring them closer to God….that’s my goal every day of my life.
More power and God bless you!
Vic-Vic
i had an officemate, who said that she’s a die hard catholic before, went to mass everyday, goes to worship..but when she was invited to some sort of a gathering..everyhing changed… all her beliefs changed! the worst thing she said is that we’re “brainwashed by the Catholic church”, we’re fundamentalists! (i don’t even know what this means). every teachings & doctrines are not true! we had long debates everytime religion was brought up, but i ended up talking to a box that had been buried and cemented under a road for a million years! one of the debates we had was..the “tongues of fire by the Holy Spirit”, she was quote & quote… “these sort of language is a demonic language that was used by babylonians in the early days..” Catholics just used it because they wanted to feel special & superior to other religions..”
how will you deal with a person like that??? now you tell me Bo.
thanks for the reply & God Bless.
Sadly, the difficult person in my life is my ex husband. He was physically & verbally abusive. He called me names and made me look bad among his relatives and friends. Now that I filed for annulment, he is insisting on visitation rights on our child whom he failed to see for over a year and has not given any kind of support when he has the means to do so. I exhausted all efforts of saving our marriage and keeping the family intact, but he didn’t want to cooperate that’s why I ended up filing for legal action. I think this should be the last recourse for handling a difficult person. I do pray for him that someday he will realize his obligations as a husband and father.
For me, the difficult person in my life is my mom. And not surprisingly, if you asked her who her difficult person is- it’ll probably be me.
I often wondered why God gave me to her when our personalities are radically different. When I was younger, I often get depressed because I do not understand why she couldn’t understand me. (Now, I’m wiser.) I find it hard to feel anything for her- even now.
And I’m guessing that it must be the result of how I was treated when I was younger. If I could not reach her expectations; I got a verbal lashing. Not only that, I was molested as well. (I look like my father; who died when I was 3.)
I always prayed that I’d get over these experiences one day. That maybe one day, I won’t cringe when she innocently touches me. Or find it in my heart to forgive, forget, and simply love.
Now that she’s getting older, she expects me to support her financially and emotionally in her old age. To be honest, AYOKO. I feel trapped. My inner initial reaction was, “You abused me and you expect me to take care of you?” She’d quote bible passages to me on children’s responsibilities to aging parents… It’s driving me CRAZY.
And she’ll complain about me to her friends in her church group. What can I do? Outside of our house, she’s considered a saint. I couldn’t complain to anyone; because everyone I know- knew her. *sigh*
I am still desperately praying. I hope others would pray for me too.
wow, it really made me smile when i read this…. for so long now, i am so disappointed with my subordinate. coz instead of saying she cannot do her job, she simply says the 1,000 reasons why she didnt submit things on the deadline i told her… hay naku, patawarin ako ng Diyos.. pero talagang she really pissed me… i really dont like to see her nor give her assignments, talagang im already thinking na di na naman nya magawa ang ipapagawa ko sa kanya. And she is not focusing sa trabaho nya.. basta she there lng…… yun lng… basta present xa….
anyway, bo thank you kasi in a way na voice ko na yung gusto ko.
God bless you.
sometimes i consider my in laws the difficult persons GOD sent me … hehehe … imagine a mother inlaw telling you might be pregnant knowing her son is out of the country????
how about a sister in law who had told you everything you own should me thiers e am working naman ????
another sister in law asking evrything about my parents, my brothers, my sisters ,,,, ayyy naku …. bro bo … if only i could turn back time i never got married na lang ….
may GOD bless and guide me always …
one of the difficult persons in my life was a classmate during freshman year in college.
we heard feedbacks from our other blockmates that he usually just slacks of during group work and the usual freeloader stuff lazy people do.
but because he’s ok, we sometimes hang out with him. for two terms (i study in a trimestral system university), we didn’t get the chance to be groupmates but come third term, his true colors were seen.
it may partially be my fault that i elected him as the leader of our group for i believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt.
so there, he was our leader. he didn’t slack off, on a positive note. but he didn’t do his work either. he passed it on to us and bombarded us with text messages telling us to buy this and that, yada yada yada..
thank God it’s all over.
i learned from that experience to always keep my cool but nevertheless make a stand or even argue when the situation calls for it.
When I joined YFC in college, I was asked what gift from the Holy Spirit I wanted to receive. I thought about picking the gift of tongues (speaking in, not additional ones). Not only is it showy and impressive, it might come in handy for my french and spanish classes.
In the end I asked for wisdom. I made a horrible choice. Every time Im angry with someone, my mind explores reasons (excuses even) for their behavior. They had a crappy day, they were also subjected to the same abuse, or they just don’t know better. It takes away the edge off the anger. And I’m also reminded how my thoughtless actions may have triggered their reactions/behavior. It is a totally humbling gift… realizing that you are human. As these “mini monsters” are, no matter how aggravating they appear to be.
You can’t always do something to change someone. In the end you can only change yourself. So you either accept them or you can distance yourself from them.
Hi again!
Wow Bo, these comments does not only make me smile & laugh, but I sympathize as well. It only shows that each one of us really have atleast one difficult person in our lives.
I can’t wait for your next email.
God speed!
This article reminded me of a classmate i had back in my first year of college.
At first, when you meet him, i can say that he’s practically a good okay person. However, as time goes by, me and my other classmates realized that he was somewhat of a free rider - nobody wants him included in group works because he never tries to contribute anything. The worst part of it is, he passes most of his subjects because groupworks pull his entire grade.
Of course, being his classmate, for us it’s totally unfair for him to do this. but we can’t do anything about it especially when the final grades are already issued. So it went on for about a semester or two. It was not later on that we realized that he was actually undergoing such a difficult time.
Around middle of our 3rd semester, he, out of nowhere, opened up to some of us. He told us of the difficult things he’s been undergoing since highschool (even before he entered college). Unfortunately, he got his girlfriend pregnant during highschool and ever since then, he was struggling to balance everything - from his studies to his family life. He told us that when he graduated highschool, he even thought of not going to college anymore, and instead, find a job to support his family. Good thing his father convinced him that he’s making a big mistake for thinking that way and that he should graduate college first. That’s why he ended up in going to college. He told us that his father is the one taking care of his tuition fee, while his siblings supports his family’s expenses.
Actually, looking at his status, he’s really blessed right? He’s still very lucky for having the chance of getting a better life. Who knows what would’ve happen if he hadn’t taken his father’s advice. It would’ve been even worse! Unfortunately, we just don’t know if he sees all this blessings he’s got. I mean, his ways even got worst during the whole semester. He came from just being late to classes to not going to classes anymore; From not just contributing anything during groupworks to telling other people that his group doesn’t want him to help anyway; From doing assignments to not doing anything; and lastly, for expecting other people to cover for him especially when a professor asks the class about him.
Being his classmate, we would have this talk with him sometimes that he should do better because if he continues doing such acts, nothing will happen with his life. Then we would go and tell him: “Think about your kids. If you’re going to mess up your life, make sure they aren’t included! They don’t have anything to do with this and yet they are close to experiencing suffering. And maybe you should think about your wife as well. There’s still time you know, you could do better.” I know it’s not that good that we meddle with his affairs like this but we can’t also just stand there and continue being witnesses to the mistakes he’s unaware of commiting. We know he could do better with his life. And it’s hard seeing people we know that makes his life more difficult every minute.
Yeah, i do sometimes ask God to wake him up; shake him a little bit so that he’ll be able to do better.
Yes, I believe God allows difficult people to come into my life to give me very special gifts…
Understanding. I realize that often, the problem is not interpersonal relationships (difficult people vs. me) but INTRApersonal ones (difficult people vs. their own selves, their baggages, unresolved issues, etc.). Those difficult people have emotional concerns deep in themselves, which I need to unearth and understand more.
Tactfulness. I don’t know why but difficult people seem to have a tendency to misconstrue my words. When misunderstandings happen, all the more i realize that the opportunity to speak does not guarantee me the privilege of being understood. The Spirit teaches me to bridle my tongue and to be more careful with my speech.
Growth and Maturity. Difficult people seem to be experts in the field of upsetting happy people. Their comments definitely bite, but they make me look at myself and say, “Oh, now i see. There is some truth in what Mr. Difficult is saying.” Honestly, that provides me an opportunity to improve on the areas I need to grow in. True, feedback is painful. So is truth. But I believe we Christians can never come to full bloom without them.
one more special gift i think and the most of all is LOVE.
we couldn’t understand difficult people without the Love of Jesus in our hearts.
i too had been difficult to others especially my family in one way or another but unconditional love moved me to change and their prayers to God changed me and still changing me to be a better person.
without their love for me maybe i still remain a depressed person and so difficult to understand but they loved and accepted me for this and it healed me. that is what i’m trying to do whenever i met someone so difficult to deal with i just pass it forward the grace and love i received from God which is LOVE that makes this world go round and peaceful.
May we all be filled with God’s love. Thanks!
lumaki akong abused na bata.. dahil unting pagkakamali ko lang binubugbog ako ng kapatid kong lalaki.. kung meron nga lang bantay bata nung panahon na yun.. baka napabantay bata ko na sya.. sobrang laki ng naging trauma sa akin.. noong bata ako natatakot na akong umuwi sa bahay namin dahil alam kong magugulpi na naman ako.. yun ang dahilan din siguro ng maaga kong pagaasawa.. upang malayo sa kanya.. pero ngayun medyo ok na kami.. indi ko na lang sya pinupuntahan sa bahay nya uipang maiwasan din ang problema… indi ko pa idn talaga alam sa sarili ko kung talagang napatawa ko na sya.. pero gustong gusto ko na din syang mapatawad sa lahat lahat ng ginawa nya sa akin.. ayaw ko ding may dalahin sa dibdib ko.. medyo mabigat din kasi sa pakiramdam… sana nga marinig ni Lord ang mga panalangin natin na ang mga taong ito ay magbago na…
Dear Bro. Bo,
I also encounter “difficult People” in my life . Most of the time I fail because I get angry or agitated. So I asked for the Help from God to make me more patient and understanding. I come to realized that this can make you too a better person, because you are put to into test.
God never does anything that is bad for us. I think this will make us more understanding and forgiving later.
More power to you. I am thanking God for people like you and Father Zaki of Dubai who help us always.
May god be Praised!
marivic
just read this article and it brought to my mind this member of mine that quite a struggle for sometime already.
i have this member in the community that at times i can’t figure out how to deal with her. she really has this “pasaway” attitude that pushes me to my limit of patience. i don’t know if she’s in the community because of the activities and the happenings, as in she’s present and super active for those kind of things. but if its already for service, you can’t count on her… she’s suddenly out of the picture.
i’ve prayed to God to give me the answer on how i can handle her. i can’t simply ignore her coz she’s my responsibility to God. i realized too that this is the challenge for me as a leader, on how i can be more effective and strong.
suddenly i started praying for her and for the other members as well that have been “lie-low” in the community which i haven’t done before. i know nothing is impossible with God and i hope on our meeting this friday, she’ll be able to come.
Hi Bro bo,
Yes i havedifficult person in my life.They happened to be my Uncle(like devil in progress) and a cousin nobody wanted naparang a creature only a mother could love.This uncle of mine is sooh selfish,likes gossips,liar,corrupt,likes elevatimg himselfto the status of a hero pero and galingnyang mang api ng kapwa nya na parang wala ng pakiramdam ang tao nasa2ktan nya no matter what.He wanted us to leave the house His brother owns (btw, he’s a cousin of my mom) kasi his brotherpassed away na pero ayaw nya ibugay ung pagmanage ngbahay sa sisterin law nya bcoz.He wanted the house for himself.And ever since naman wala syang naging part sa bahay na yon.It’s a goodthing we left the house na .We suffered so much from that house kahit dun na kami lumaki.Life is too short and its no use dealing with difficult people syang oras.kunggusto nyanyang ganon ang buhay nya so be it.Mahirap kausap kahat ng tao umiiwas na sa kanya.I never(10000) really thought na may nilalang na katulad nya.And when I pray for this person my stomach getsupset all the time that makes me stop trying.So Bro Bo pinaubaya ko nalang sa Diyos Sya That’s between him and His God.And My cousin just the same a pain in the neck.no matter how i prayed for her and showed her kindness, just the same she’s a pathological liar.Even if she hurts me,she’s still hurting herself more.Ganun din nakakapagod silang ipagdasa kaya iniwasan ko nlng magcross ang path namin.I mean i’m not alone with what i feel for this person.Maybe in God’s own time they’ll change.Umiwas nalang ako kesa magkasakit ako sa puso sa ka3usap sa sa kanila diba? well what do you say to it
marilou
Good pm to you BO,
I consider one of our member really different or difficult, Her pride is more higher than her, considering her height is just like me 4′11. We are together in one community here in Saudi for almost 16- 17 years, but until now we don’t know how to deal with her, gusto nya i praise siya, siya unang sasabihan, pag hindi, na gagalit siya,, pag ayaw nyang umattend ng gawain ok lang pero pag iba ang hindi naka attend kung ano anong masakit na salita ang sinasabi nya.. lately di na siya na sama sa amin, one time nga nag invite ang leader namin, bakit di raw sinabi sa kanya agad, nag tampo na naman. Pag nainis siya di siya na attend,, nakakahiya na ke LORD until now ganun parin ugali nya.. hindi na nag bago…. Tumatahimik na lang kami at patuloy na lang namin siyang pinag pray na sana ilagay niya sa isip niya na ang pag silbi ke LORD ay hindi para sa sarili kundi para sa mga taong naka paligid at ang papuri ay sa DIYOS at di sa tao. We considered her our torn, for the group to learn how to love her more.
Please include our group and also my kids to your prayers
I have problem with my sons they don’t know how to budget money…. they still asked for my support even though they are family men,,, I think GOD is giving me trials so that understanding and LOVE will continue to grow within me,,, GOD BLESS
I met a difficult person in the workplace. I don’t normally assign negative attributes to a person but this person has always undermined my work and actions in the workplace. To make sure I wasn’t just imagining things or being overly sensitive, I started asking my trusted colleagues and who knew her better if they noticed her actions (or reactions) towards me and I received a resounding “yes” she was quite hard on you. They also don’t understand where she was coming from.
I thought her reactions are unreasonable and illogical. I was so frustrated and got depressed that even when I was 7 months pregnant, I was crying myself to sleep thinking of all her actions towards me or my work.
I really hated her at that time…but at the same time, I was also hoping that I was wrong. That is why I kept on trying to bridge my relationship with her. Unfortunately, there was not relationship to build. She was fixed at the thought that she will not accept me and like me. And now, I have nothing but pity for her and hope that she will gain her peace of mind. Because I think, whatever negative things she was trying to throw at me was an indication of a personal struggle inside.
I am still hoping we will patch things up. I always pray that the Lord will give me the strength to accept her (or any other difficult person) and also to accept myself because maybe, I am also difficult to other people.
Difficult people give us gifts of patience, endurance, and perseverance. With the presence of difficult people, we learn to be more patient, enduring, and persevering. We develop the patience of the saint with the grace of the Holy Spirit; we learn to endure when the most natural thing to do is to seek revenge; and we develop perseverance in our faith.
I have experienced and still do the worst with this very dificult person. I just don’t know why he hates me like hell. This is what I feel ever since I joined the organization. It seems I’m not capable of doing anything good in his book, which I definitely refuse to believe. Many times I have thought of just getting out of our group and transfer to another or just leave the company and be spared from him and his all-too difficult personality. In the morning when I wake up, I really feel bad that I am going again in an office I dread not to set foot. It has been an ordeal really. How I wish I can get out in one snap of a finger. In the past during bad times with him, I usually try to get an inspirational book to assuage my feelings. It helped but now I guess I’m not capable of feeling all the right emotions. I can only hope and pray that I will be able to bear all this some more and finally realize that there’s light at the end of the tunnel.
Grabe! Ang tagal kong nakarating dito sa bottom… Sadya
yatang walang tao na walang difficult person sa buhay nila…
Nakakalungkot ang sa akin kasi kasama ko sa bahay halos
24 hrs. a day. Ang negosyo kasi namin ay sa bahay lang ang
mga transactions. Katabi ko pa sa pagtulog! Siya na yata
ang pinaka difficult na tao sa mundo, and mind you, 20 yrs
pa lang naman kaming nagsasama… Alam nyo na siguro
kung sino ang tinutukoy ko? He’s no other than my
husband!
Alam nyo, kung sasabihin ko pa kung gaano siya ka-
difficult mauubos ko ang space ni brod Bo para sa iba. And
mind you, hindi lang siya difficult person sa buhay ko,pati sa
nanay at kapatid niya! At kung tatanungin niyo pa ang mga
anak ko , tiyak iisa ang sagot nila, papa is the most difficult
person in their lives. Imagine the role i’m undertaking…
Pero, ba’t ako nakatiis ng 20 yrs.? Siguro nga… mahal ko
siya! Sa nanay ko pa, katangahan na!
Kapag naman may kaaway siya,unang-una akong in his
defense kaagad. Naawa nga ako kapag inaaway siya eh.
Madalas tuloy, naitatanong ko sa Kanya, ba’t hindi Niya pa
baguhin kaagad ang asawa ko? Ba’t hinihintay pa Niya na
maraming magalit sa kanya? Lalo lang tuloy siyang
napapasama…
Ang iniisip ko nalang at this point in my life,siguro ito ang
misyon ko sa mundong ibabaw,to tame the most difficult
creature God has made. May magandang kapalit siguro ito
sa Itaas. Pagbubutihan ko nalang siguro ang misyon na
ito. Malay niyo maging santa pa ako!
my 2-cents sharing ~ ~ ~
Difficult people are given us and allowed to cross our path, short-timed or long term. The reason, I truly believe, is for us to taste, to experience, and ultimately to enjoy God’s grace. And the grace is — feeling, being really and truly a child of God.
We’ve been more of self-centered rather than other-focused, for one reason or another. We also have different definition of happiness, success, even being “followers” of the Christ.
However, if we truly want to be “followers” of Jesus, then we need to make that DECISION - to really follow and imitate; afterwards, active follow through. Here we need to:
: look for and see Jesus in the other person (beyond all the surface “dirt” and “unlovableness”)
: help that person bring out from within him the “Jesus spirit” in him.
I believe that once we make that resolve, and honest about it; and pure in our intentions, and pray from the heart for it - - - then, I believe God would give us:
: many opportunities - to the degree conforming to our uniqueness - to enable us to practice and live out that decision of ours (here is when we encounter more and more difficult persons)
: discernment and knowledge - when and how to act, speak, think, etc. ; knowing that the other person’s weakness “happens to be” tailor-fit to my God-given talents and skills
: a share, to a very small degree, of God’s compassion, emphaty, etc. by understanding that the other person is - just like me - a child of God.
And of course, in this journey of becoming, we acquire Godly characteristics - learn how to listen and not just hear, how to see beyond the surface, learn that giving respect has nothing to do with whether the other person deserve it or not, patience, perseverance, true acceptance of the other for who he is at that time.
God bless us all.
while reading the comments, I realized that those difficult persons I have in my life are also present with others:
a very “bossy” boss who wouldn’t listen to my inputs and totally edits my report to suit his ideas
a jobless brother, a separated sister, impregnated sister who all depend on me financially
a staff who refuses to obey my rules
my mother who sometimes I think love more my siblings than me
my father who is a womanizer
a costumer infront of me in a long queue in the supermarket who I think is a relative of kuya cesar bcause he is too slow
and so on and so forth
but then while reading the comments, parang tinatamaan ako
bat parang ako yata iyong difficult person
difficult staff to my boss because I thought I was so smart and my boss so dumb I dont want to give in to his criticisms
a selfish sister who got a better education and work and refuses to help my siblings
or I maybe the selfish daughter who wants all the affection to be mine
or I maybe the dictator boss who doesn’t give my subordinates the room to grow
I had my share of difficult persons but somehow I realized I’m also tv difficult one.
and I can’t wait for bro. Bo’s next article to find out what can I do about it.
hmm.kanina lang napatambling ako sa isang tao na pag nagsalita o gumalaw,mapapaspell D-i-f-f-i-c-u-l-t ka talaga.naisip ko nga po tatay bo yung mga natutunan ko sa inyo,’don’t complain.’ ‘enjoy life.’ hay. andaling sabihin pero pag may mga difficult people na sa buhay ko, parang nagiging question mark ang lahat.habang binabasa ko nga yung mga ibang comments,di ko mapigilang isaisahin ang mga hanep na mga taong yun.narealized ko, in one way or another, those people pushed me to get closer to the Lord. i remember those moments that i was deeply hurt by my pamangkin, i said to the Lord, “hanep Ka Lord, kung ganito na yung sakit na nararamdaman ko, paano pa yung pinagdaanan Mo para samen?” thoughts like that made me fall in love more with the Lord not to mention my prayer life that is being strengthen during those difficult moments with difficult people. and another thing, does God really allows difficult people to come into our lives or is it the other way around? kapag kasi nagiging difficult people na ko para sa ibang tao, nagpapadala si Lord ng mga tao para marealized ko ang pagkakamali at worth ko. and little by little, i’ll be less difficult until the time comes that i will be a blessing-a lil’ bit difficult person already.
I am past 50 yrs old and come to think of it, in every stage of my life - as student, single person working, married life, a mother, semi-retired employee etc… I met many difficult persons which molded my personality to what I am now. I have become prayerful and sensitive to the feelings of others. I found friends who tell me I am a good listener and a shoulder to cry on. But these are just part of the blessings in disguise which I come to realize only recently. I have been physically abused (bullied) when I was a student, ridiculed beccause I am not pretty, cheated by my boyfriend/eventually husband, swindled by close relatives and friends. My only constant companion is my diary where I write my hurts and prayers. I am a survivor, praise God. There are still difficult persons around me but now I am bolder and more confident - I’ve learned to say no, to assert my rights and express my feelings - even righteous anger and disgust.. Thanks Bro Bo for nourishing our souls everyday!
i am now currently dealing with VERY difficult person… the fact that i am an impatient creature my self and that i personally have to deal with my own idiosyncrasies, i once asked God why sent such a crap…? then i realized that maybe God was just trying to strengthen my weak patience…haha albeit many time sGod failed doing so for i still tend to make a patol…
this difficult person makes my life a little miserable yet at the same time taught me how to be a patient ate for she is younger than my age…
Well, what the horrible people does to me is they help me appreciate the few nice people I come across with. It’s like it’s so typical to assume that people just won’t care and will think only of theirselves. Then you meet a person who will care for you just unconditionally. If everybody is nice, it would be difficult to notice the smiles, the nice gestures, a stranger’s kindness, friends who were once strangers, etc.
Through those horrible people we are honed and purified. Sometimes, when I come across those people I do ask myself, “Why me!” Why can’t those horrible people leave me alone. I suppose those people are being used as part of our purification. If everybody in this world is nice, how can we be tested? Because of them, we pray to God, we asked for his help.
It can also be that we encounter those people because God is sending us to be a blessing to them.
I would write my horrible experience about the horrible people I met but well, who would want to hear me moan
Take Care.
difficult person??? so many….but recently, i encountered this personality through my employer here in canada….yes, she is difficult, but within that more than two months of living with them, i haven’t experienced that kind of difficulty, with her family, yes, i heard and seen them arguing, yelling, and until one time, her son told me that I will be next. And that’s the hardest part, when I encountered the turmoil, I never felt so humiliated in my entire life. I never felt so upset and miserable during the times that I have been with them. Good thing, the LOJ Chapter Head Couples here in Calgary adopted me for almost two weeks. And just yesterday, my employer called up to ask me what’s my decision but I bounced back her question, I asked her what’s her decision. She finally told me that she knows I’m not happy anymore and will still get me for a while until I found another job but I have to inform her when, so she can prepare for my loss.
By the way, she is a Christian, I don’t know what kind, but as I was idle for more than I week, our separation made me realize so many things. That I have to bear with her type of personality, that no one has undergone a situation in life that is not difficult. That her yelling should be written on the sand compared to the good things she did for me which I cherish during the times that we are still good.
And as I grow as a Catholic Christian, I must continue learning and have the wisdom and virtues to face reality, how to deal with such types and how to tame my tongue and practice so much patience. Thanks be to God for all the courage and strength to face the world as it is and for all the teachings of Bro Bo to continuously nourish our souls. Glory to God in the highest. Everything works for good for those who love Him.
hi bro. bo! oh so many difficult people in my life, even close family and friends.
anyway, i think that the best gift that i am able to receive the Lord is that i am able to let go of whatever ill feelings i have over this person through much prayers. and sometimes, it would be hard because it keeps of coming back over and over again. yet, truly the love of God is made perfect in us (1 John 4) and i realize that i do not have to do anything in this person. it is only God who can change them and i finally made a choice to dwell in God’s love for me rather than eating myself up in anger and bitterness and all those nasty feelings.
yes, truly loving our neighbor is hard. yet, His love for us is greater that’s why we need to pray so that we can let go and let God.
GOD bless… i was so inspired by your talk last night here in So Cal.
thank you!
To answer Bo’s question… the gifts that we can receive in dealing with difficult person are patience, understanding, and love.
After reading all the sharings, I can say that the very root cause of why there is a difficult person in this world is because of “lack of love”. And to deal with them is to give them love.
How do we handle them in a practical way?
1st step - Let them know in a humble way that they are difficult to be with. How? It really depends on the person. But It doesn’t matter the approach as long as one should do it in a humble way.
2nd step - Inscribe in your mind and heart that they need help. Period. And when God’s open a way, do whatever you can to help them.
3rd step - Pray. Need not to explain.
Now, do this steps to yourself first and then to the person that you have difficulty dealing with.
God bless us all!
I would say the most difficult person in my life is my mom. She’s a tough woman, who came from a poor family and had a bitter past. It’s not easy to please her and she is always worried about tomorrow especially in financial matters. I always try to tell her that money is not the source of happiness but still she always talks about it. She always complains, not contented and doesn’t want to share her blessing to others except to those whom she likes. I guess the reason why she is like this is because she’s afraid to be empty handed once again. I am still grateful that she is my mom because without her we would ended up nowhere. She also has good side but sometimes it is hidden underneath her soul that you really need to dig in. She is not a typical mom who is gentle and caring but she has her own way to support and nurture us. Our grandparents basically raised us up, both our parents are working then, so they provided us the care and affection that my mom can’t express. On the other hand my dad is a gentle person but doesn’t speak a lot. Most of the time my mom nagged him.
Before, I really hate seeing my mom being difficult that I fight with her most of the time. But later on I realized I’m becoming a difficult person also for my mom. I shifted my paradigm, looked at her positive attributes and tried to understand the root cause of everything. THen, something change, she mellow down a bit and we are not fighting that often. If things got worst I just tell myself that I cannot change others but I can change and control myself. After that shift, my mom is a little bit shaken and I am not stressed at all. Though sometimes she is still being the difficult person that I know, I just pray and believe that she will change one day. But no matter how difficult she is I still love her with all my heart.
Hi Bro Bo!
Well, i have had so many difficult persons in my life but this one really stand out from the rest. She is my boss and everyday I pray that God will give me strength to face her and not only that I always said to HIM “Lord what will your suprise be for me today”. Its like everyday she calls me to her room as in I say all my prayers. She has this capacity to make people down as if you have to think twice before you speak to her, my confidence run out almost.
But, you know, I just always keep in mind that maybe she has some problems somewhere. All colleagues told me that she’s like the character in the movie “The Devil wears Prada” something like that.
When i watched the “Evan Almighty movie” in the one of the scene their hit me when He said “When you ask God for patience does He give it to you right away, No! He gives you something or someone to practice your patience”
And I am learning something from her and at the sametime I know that deep within her something good it just she doesn’t want to show it…..
And I thanked God everyday for giving me this difficult person.
Thanks Bro Bo! God Bless
difficult person?.. siguro ako na yon.. maraming beses ko na kasi sinubukan na magpatawad sa mga taong sabihin na natin na in a way nakasakit sa aking damdamin..sabi ko ..these time kakalimutan ko na ang lahat ..ung tipong ” ha?.. atraso?..wala naman akong matandaan na may ginawa ka sa akin..” alam kong mahirap pero hindi ako mawawalan ng pag-asa na darating ang panahon na magiging buo na ulit ang puso at pagkatao ko dahil natuto na akong lumimot at magpatawad, At pasasalamatan ko sila dahil sa aral na aking natutunan… with GOD nothing is impossible
“Hurt people hurt people”… this is just one of the things i take into consideration when trying to deal with difficult people. Sometimes, this statement cools all the boiling inside me, but at times the exasperation goes on no matter how i hastily pray for grace and humility.
I’m a also a medical student like paui, who has posted a comment yesterday and while reading her entry, it was as if i was the one she was referring to in the scenario. I’m afraid I have also had a bunch of classmates and groupmates who are “difficult”, in every sense of the word.
My first year in medical school was a big toll of adjustment, not just with the course but most especially with the group i belonged to. It felt like a survival of the fittest that I wasn’t really prepared for. Time and again i have run to the heavens in tears that God would touch these people to take responsibility in all our requirements. Well, I could always deal with certain difficult people, but being surmounted with a dozen?? unimaginable! It had been a really difficult year for me, thus my rejoices when I finally “survived” the whole year of our togetherness.
Come second year, I felt so redeemed because somehow, the groupings have changed. Difficult people came along the way, but by God’s grace I didn’t find much problem dealing with them.
On my third year, this school year, with only two sections remaining, I was totally aghast upon learning that my groupmates way back in first year would soon-to-be my future groupmates for the next two years. My first instinct was to request that my section be changed. It had been 2 days since I requested for that change, 2 days of intense prayer.
On this day, I shall face the truth. No matter what the result is, I pray that God envelope me with His grace. I’m afraid of the possibility that I’d be spending two more years with them but the thought that God has a beautiful purpose and a plan for me, makes me feel that I am safe in Him.
I just offer everything to God now… And I continue to pray for all the difficult people in my life. May I not be a difficult person in theirs.
Thank you for this article..and the chance for me to post my own share of story..It is very timely for me..
Godspeed.
I have a tita who was very mean. For her money matters. I used to study a tougher field when she told me not to stick with it if my head can handle it. She called me and my family names because her sister (my mom’s sister too) had been helping us get through since i was small. I decided not to ask anything from anyone of them anymore and take charge of my life. I took a leave from school and am now working.
I also have a coworker who does not miss a day without complaining about anything - the boss, the clients, the schedule…everything.
i have read from a book written by St. Poveda that:
the cross (difficult person) in your life is your key to heaven.
Christlike love is patient with the faults of others!
Good day…
difficult people makes us more patient and understanding…
Yes, I have a very difficult person in my life right now. My boss, he is making my life hell on earth. He is moody, insensitive and demanding in a very weird way. I almost want to go up to him and ask him what have I done to him to deserve this. I know he is not happy with my work but the action he is showing verges on sarcasm and insult. I am almost on the verge of resigning even with no clear new job on sight. Maybe its a sign that I should strike on my own, I used to do consulting and I used to have a small business - the consulting was ok but the small business hmm its another story. But I was thinking I should have learned something from my mistake, now its time to take a second crack at things I really would like to do. I am now asking God to Bless my plans and decision. And also to give me a forgiving and humble heart and wisdom too and good health. By the way as I was about to submit the boss just came in. To all reading these I ask of you to please pray for me and for him as well.
It is really so difficult to live in this world…full of people that can annoy you in one way or another…But it is also wonderful to think that there is GOD who always give us inspiration and guidance to cope up with this kind of people…i do encounter a lot of difficult people in my work place…but come to think of it I am also a difficult person for some…but i would like to thank GOD for giving me a heart and mind that is capable of knowing and accepting that there are so many wayas on how I can deal with these people…
Thank you LORD for giving me that heart…
It is really so difficult to live in this world…full of people that can annoy you in one way or another…But it is also wonderful to think that there is GOD who always give us inspiration and guidance to cope up with this kind of people…i do encounter a lot of difficult people in my work place…but come to think of it I am also a difficult person for some…but i would like to thank GOD for giving me a heart and mind that is capable of knowing and accepting that there are so many ways on how I can deal with these people…
Thank you LORD for giving me that heart…
yes i meet them all the time…di ko alam kung gasgas or sounding like saint..sa dami na cguro ng books na nabasa ko, at mga articles ng tulad ke Bo…pumapasok lagi sa isip ko na…what if yung taong kinaiinisan ko or ng lahat eh me traits din pala akong ganon?…tapos naiisip ko na “hello, anak din ni God yan, so equal kayo”…tska minsan naiisip ko rin na ” ako lang me hard feelings sa kanya so ako lang nagsa-suffer”…until magwane na ung inis..at eventually siguro maging immuned or dedma na lang..
hi, i’m from canada. just wanted to share with you what i am going thru right now. i am dealing with a lot of difficult people at work since most of us are of different nationalities, with different upbringing all put in one department. dito halos araw araw stress na stress na ako sa trabaho stress pa rin sa mga tao dahil hindi ko alam kung paano sila pakikisamahan. it’s affecting my health, my sanity and most of all my family. like in the early part nang article ni Bo na “pinagdadasal ko na sana tamaan na sila ng kidlat at ma-karma” i know that’s bad pero nandun na ako sa peak ng aking stress na halos bumitaw na ako at mag-resign na sa trabaho pero iniisip ko pa rin na ito lang ang bumubuhay sa amin so i still need to hold on to my job because it provides not only for my family here in canada but also back home in the philippines. right now i’m still searching on how to cope with this kind of problem dahil wala akong mapagsabihan at wala rin akong mapagkatiwalaan sa opisina dahil maraming pag kaharap ka ay mabait pero pag talikod mo ay kung anu-ano na ang sinasabi tungkol sa iyo at galit pala sa iyo. at first i tried ignoring it but it didn’t work so i tried to be vocal and honest but it still didn’t work so now i’m at a loss as to what i should do. panay pa rin ang dasal ko na tulungan akong maging matatag sa pagsubok na ito pero hanggang kailan. suggestion nga rin ng asawa ko magpaka-showbiz na lang ako pero ang hirap gawin lalo na’t gusto mong magpakatotoo pero sa pagpapakatotoo mo e lumalabas na sa akin pa nanggagaling ang problema. so it’s really a very tough situation that i’m in. hindi na nga ako mapagkatulog, hindi na ako nakakain ng mahusay at pati ang health ko ay naaapektuhan na rin at ganun din ang pamilya ko. i’m hoping that with your next article i’ll be able to find the answer to what i’m searching or looking for.
p.s. with this comment, i’m also sharing with everyone who are thinking of working or migrating in another country of what they will be dealing with when it comes to different personalities from different countries and backgrounds. miss ko na nga sa pinas kahit na stress ka sa trabaho hindi mo nararamdaman dahil nandon ang samahan, tiwala, suporta at lalong lalo na ang pagkakaibigan.
I welcome difficult people in my life…these are challenges that will surely serve our purposes in our life journey…great article Sir Bo! I’m your avid fan!
Hi Bo! I am a silent reader of your articles and books…It seems for me, I have no one to turn to except your writings…because thru them I find God, my comfort.
My life is very sad. I’m a happy person, jolly and bubbly…that’s my real personality. Until I discovered about my husband’s infidelity. For me, he is the difficult person in my life because he made this life a misery…sorrowful..He has taken out all my reasons to be happy. I thought before that I have the best and most kind husband in the world even though we are not rich. But then, all of a sudden, I discovered, that I was totally wrong. I cry whenever I think of him. I wanted to get out of our marriage but my only one daughter might get hurt and affected…that I cannot afford…to hurt her feelings. I want her to live a normal life..complete family. My husband works abroad and for so many years I have been a mother and father to my daughter. But she still lives normally with that kind of situation because she knows she has her dad abroad. But then, I already lost trust to my husband. He doesn’t respect me as the mother of his child nor he loves me. I don’t feel that he loves me because if he does, he won’t make sex with other woman. Yes, he had an affair with a girl working in the same country where he is right now…that me more miserable. I want to get out of our marriage because i don’t feel his love anymore but how about my daughter???i don’t know what to do..what to decide because it always involve my daughter.and i love my daughter so much…
hey hi…bo i have a diffucult person right now..he’s my ex-bf…im trying to handle things with him pero it seems im giving up…i always ask the Good Lord to help me each day
Actually there is one difficult person in my life these days. He /She makes our workplace a stressful environment to be in. Madami ang nagkakasit - emotionally and physically dahil sa mga demands niya and the negative vibes he/she sends out. Halos lahat ng tao, pwera lang sa mga sipsip ay gusto na siyang e kick out (kung pwede nga lang kaso…nasa taas na position siya)…Ewan namin kung bakit bulag at bingi ang higher management sa corruptive ways niya. Dahil din kaya despite our difficultiies with this person, we do our job excellently…no questions asked na lang kami lahat …to keep the peace well. Haha…siya pa rin nag benefit at umaani sa fruits of the laborer’s labor!!!
The positive things I learned while around these person/s are: Natoto akong magpaseynsya ng todo-todo. Learned to correct mistakes in a gentler way..And mas naging supportive ako sa mga ka officemates ko. I learned the BIG difference between compassionate authority and authority for authority’s sake…and i know someday, when its my turn to be in their place if ever i will still be around this workplace, I will NOT be like them
i think im one of the difficult people, simply because i couldnt forgive that one person who hurt me, my ex-boyfriend. last january, he left without care, on the year we are supposed to get married. he left me hanging big time.
now, i try as much to get away from him as possible because i am being reminded of what a jerk he was, and how stupid i had been for putting up with that kind of guy for so long. i felt like i have wasted ten precious years of my life, because i have invested so much in a relationship that ended in a very bad note.
i have to give up my choir because i found out that he was having relationship with this younger girl even before we broke up. the betrayal really makes me mad, and the thought of me having to leave that one group i loved and nurtured, at their expense makes me want to lash out at them. i find it really unfair, but they left me no choice because i couldn’t possibly play hypocrites with them and pretend that everything is fine and dandy.
sigh. i know that God wants me to learn something from this event. at my tender moments, i always find myself crying from hurt and lost trust. am i too bad for not being able to forgive such monstrosity? please help me pray for the grace. i dont want to be difficult anymore.
I am a mother of two..the difficult person im life right now is my eldest who’s age is 6…but he is very extraordinary person…or maybe he became a difficult person because I was a difficutl mother too…actually i accept… i myself was a difficult person…coz of the experiences that i had along the marriage with my husband…and he is always seeing us fighting…screaming…and he sees me crying all the time…now it really difficult for me to deal with my son…coz i want him to be a good person…sometimes i pitty him that he’ll be shouted by other people and telling words like makulit…and bad…im sad…please pray for my healing and my son too..
I am probably the difficult person in other people’s lives. But we have issues that made us react negatively. Sometimes, its easy to think that he/she must be suffering from unbearable prob that caused her to be difficult to deal with. Sabi nga nila you learn kindness from the unkind. I always try to stay calm and dont react negatively on things but it would take a while. I know its causing people to be aloof most of the time but its leaving us alone makes more things complicated. Feeling din namin di kami nila naiintindihan. If there is someone that we can be comfortable with talking about the issue makes it relieving. Siguro if we gently talk or approach to them mas hindi violent reactions nila, just make them feel that you always care and Im sure they are trying to change for you.
Hi Bo,
The one difficult person in my life right now is my only BROTHER, who has given me so many heartaches & problems. This brother of mine is a widower w/ 4 small kids. He’s really a miss & so irresponsible, especially now after his wife’s death. He doesn’t seem to care for his children’s future, it’s maybe because he knows that us his sisters are always here to help support them. But Bo, we also have our own families to support & to provide for… Please help me pray for my brother to mend his ways & to make him realize that it’s important for him to be responsible for his children… Thanks…
I have a wife that I cherised and she has done nothing but abondoned me and harras me. I tried councelling, prayer, talking time, but she just keeps stabbing me. She stole all our money and dissapeared with my children. She uses the children against me and I cannot contact her. This has gone on for quite some time where I almost had a nervous breakdown. She has destroyed one business I put together for the family and is attempting to destroy the other. I just do not get or understand. I have my faults and she does not. She is perfect. The only mistake she made in her life was marrying me. I am sick of trying and have been told by religious and many others to move on. She is a spiteful, vengeful person. I am closer to God. I feel like I have to dress for WAR everyday and be prepared for the unexpected from her. She makes me worry all the time, etc.. I am from another country and I am in her country now. The odds are stacked against me except doing the right thing on my part and relying on God for the rest. Dont know why I am writing this. But I did. so there.
Hi! This is definitely something new. I believe God sends us difficult people because he wants us to become more patient and pattern the way we love into His way of loving. Remember, we are all difficult at some point, but He loves us still. He teaches us to practice sacrificial love because in learning this we give more value and meaning to our lives. I also think he sends us difficult people so that we can try and do our best to change them. Or to see if we are also committing similar kinds of sins so that we become more sensitive with our own attitudes. As Mahatma Gandhi said “Be the change you want to see in the world.” He sends us difficult people to polish our values more. We learn important values not easily but through hard work and difficult people are God’s instuments somehow in making this happen.
I also want to comment on what LOVING SISTER said. I read the whole of your text because I can relate to what you said. I have the best mom in the world but my dad just never stopped cheating on her. from my first brother down to me, youngest of us four, and even up to now when he has apos. It’s really heartbreaking. But guess what? with God’s grace I was still able to love him and take care of him. I don’t know how I was able to do that but God provided the love in my heart. These kinds of experiences could either BREAK or MAKE us. and I choose to make it contribute to making me a better person, to really love fully as a daughter. I’m praying for you. Just continue loving, forgiving, and offering all the hurts to God. Before you know it, things would be a whole lot better. And even if it would take long, you would end up with no regrets because you loved your best and did all you can to save your relationship. God Bless.
Difficult…
I think the word is not apt enough to describe this person in my life. It’s just simply DIFFICULT to look for word that word best portray her.
I mean how would you describe somebody who’s just simple a pain in the head? Somebody who finds mistake in everything you do? Somebody who looks for error rather than being thankful I did something for her? Ugh!
I thank God though that I have tons of patience so we never had an argument. But many times I found myself fuming in rage. Anger ate my sensibility and I just found myself hating her in silence.
But you see, God has strange way of tapping our heart to wake up the anger that’s sleeping in our heart.
A life-changing experience changed my complete perspective about her when I realized that what she was doing was not really meant to hurt me in any way. I can’t go into details lest I’ll end up writing a novel.
The main point is that sometimes people are difficult without being aware that they are DIFFICULT.
Difficult People Make Me Close to God
Having a companion (at the office) who is difficult to understand is a sacrifice that’s my feeling whenever I encountered difficult persons. Because their mind is close to accept explanation from others resulting to a negative reaction to a situation. Minsan pa nga kapag mababa ang self esteem ko nakahahawa at nakaka-create ng fear na pati ako ay nagkakaroon ng negative thoughts na humahantong sa takot na makisalamuha sa iba.
Whenever I feel that situation, that is the time I know God is calling me, I go to church and goes straight to the adoration chapel to talk to God and to explain my fear and lift them up to God. And whenever I talk to God, He explains everything, He brightens my mind and lightens up my difficulty in dealing with people na ang tawag ko ay matigas ang ulo. Minsan nga ginigising ako ni God kapag matigas ang ulo ko, at nangyayari yon kapag nagyayabang ako. God reminds me always na wala akong kayamanan sa mundo at lahat ng ito ay hiram ko lang kay God.
I should understand others the way God understand me. I should always remember PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE! HUMILITY IS A MUST!
Thanks Bro. Bo for taking your time to hear us, God Bless Us All!
Funny but after thinking for a very long time I can’t think of any difficult person in my life right now but myself….honestly I feel like I’m two persons in one body…as much as I want to face the challenges of life as much as I want to put confidence in what I do and can do, this other person in me just never fails to pull me down….I am very aware of all the blessings GOD is giving me and I feel ashamed as I am wasting all these blessings because of my weaknesses. I am too weak to fight this other person within me…I am praying, praying so hard that GOD would send someone who will help me pull her away, if not, give me the super mega to the max strength to fight and finally succeed……
Dear Bo,
I am now experiencing stress and depression because of a very difficult person in our work place. There are times that I want to quit but my sister is telling me to be patient and enduring. I usually tell her that it is easy for her to say that since she is not in my position. One time she laughed at me and told me that she also has a difficult person in her work place. I’ve asked her what she does whenever “the difficult person” makes her life miserable? She told me plainly that you just have to accept and forgive the person as she is. She added that I could not do that overnight. It took her time before she did it. I’m now contemplating to do the same, hope I’ll be successful. I’ve learned also that I grew stronger now. Stronger in faith since I cling only to the hope that one day all will be well because God is great all the time.
Thanks Bo for all the inspiring books and real life lessons you give to us. God is great for giving you to us.
John
difficult persons are blessings in disguise you’re right, we should welcome them in our lives.
my permanent difficult person in my life is my husband of 30 years with whom i have 3 kids, (perhaps i am also his permanent difficult person). you rarely win in an argument with him so there are very few fights with him since i tend to avoid them. he believes he’s right most of the time, he used to have a short fuse when he was younger it sometimes shows up, that’s why if we argue, i tend to stop it early with silence. he looks at the negative side more than the positive even with his own kids such that he tends to label them and plays favorites, i just pray to God for him and my kids non-stop. he can be self-centered it’s most difficult to correct him, and thinks he’s better than so and so; but i believe God sent him to me for a reason that is beneficial to me. i think the gifts He intended in sending this difficult person to me are: patience, perseverance and fortitude, humility, forgiveness and unconditional love.
i encounter those thing that people who is difficult to handle but in sincere prayers,it can be melted those attitude,i experienced it soooooooooooooooo many times in my job,and it can be solved,JUST PRAY ON IT AND ASK FOR IT,SEEK ON IT TO GOD
Love, patience, kindness, compassion.. Almost every fruit of the Holy Spirit in Galatians has been the result and gift of God to me for this difficult person. For over a decade now I’ve had this friend who has a dependency problem along with a hurtful past that has complicated his attitude and character.
It has affected the friends he claims to be his friends so much that they don’t want to claim his friendship. And most of these friends he claims to be his friends talk to me about it since I’ve been the longest friend among the friends he calims to be friends. How can you cope with him Galatian? That’s always the question they ask me.
I tell them: I’ve learned that to change a person is not my job but God’s job. But we can pray for him because as we pray for him God doesn’t actually change him but He changes us to understand him more. God changes us to become better persons. God changes us to love him more. And if you look at it that way then our friend changes for the better… that will just be the bonus from what has changed in you.
I couldn’t recall now what I had used to do when faced with an offensive person. I think normally I’d feel resentful and angry, as I may still initially do now. But now thanks be to God, encounters with such people becomes an occasion for me to call on the word of God as they seem in my heart appropriate:
1. love your enemies (them)
2. bless your enemies (them)
3. pray for (them) everyone
4. confront them privately after praying
5. confront them infront of witnesses
6. not “throw pearls before them”
7. cast them (your worries) upon the Lord
8. rejoice in the Lord (always)
9. Give thanks (in all things)
Assuredly after having gone through all this hindi muna siya kailangan bigwasan.
One time, I mistakenly forgot that I had parked my car infront of a resturant along then Pasay Rd. When I remembered and got back, all my four tires had been deflated. I confronted the owner (an Italian I believe) and told him that I was sorry I forgot I had parked my car inappropriately but that he shouldn’t have done that to my tires. He said I had it coming and I learned from the parking attendants of adjacent establishments that even a lady driver had suffered similarly. I eventually got the tires fixed after a few hours and I had in mind to report him to my friend in city hall and have his permit suspended or revoked, but after praying remembered that “vengeance is mine, says the Lord.”
I cast the incident unto the Lord and let my action be a witness to those who helped me fix the tires. After a couple of weeks I saw the restaurant padlocked and under guards! It turned out that the owner of the property had gotten a court order to close down and take possesion of everything inside, lock, stock and barrel so to speak.
In praise of God,
Alex
About 90% of my bosses when I migrated to LA are what people would normally consider difficult - one was a pathological liar who makes up stories about co-workers and got them fired (he was the Chief Financial Officer), one was an arrogant bully and liar (another CFO), one was very temperamental (you guess it right, a CFO..makes you wonder what are they teaching the accounting students here), the current one looks down on immigrants and would rather have men working for him than women (he is gay). Fortunately, all except the pathological liar who was fired became close to me and learned to trust me and valued my opinions. I tried to know them, their childhood, dig deeper to find out the source of their negativity. I was also not afraid to speak up and stand my ground. Not showing fear and speaking up is usually the antidote to a bully. They finally realized that I can be trusted. Some of them just feel threatened that I would take over their jobs. I believe the special gifts that we are give are patience, courage but above all, understanding & wisdom. My current boss (the gay one) got rid of my 2 co-workers who are guys and now treats me like his sister and confidante.
Bo, when i 1st attended the feast, this was your topic, and both me and my mom was deeply touch, we even cried during your talk, only to realized that kami pala ung difficult person sa buhay namin, ha ha ha…. i guess i’m the worst difficult person in her life ( i was very young then ). LOL. after that “realization” i guess little by little we tried to patch those difficulties, no body is perfect.
Bo i can handle diffucult persons in my life as long as he/she not in the family, so their this one person who really makes our life a living hell and sad to say he even my brother in law, you see he’s a parasite in our family, he make my sister like a robot and even hurt her, pinapulis na nga namin eh, kaso ung ate ko rin ang may problema nasa system na yata nya. before talagang nakikialam ako pero magsasawa ka rin eh, i just give all to the Lord, kaya lang minsan talagang sasabog ka rin because last dec 21 ung isang pamangkin ko ( nasa akin sya ako ang nagpapalaki, but i let them have her once in a while) told me na hinahawakan daw sya ng papa nya duon and she make some actions that really amkes my birthday the worst time of my life, hindi muna ako nag react sa kanya sinumbong ko sya\, but what can we do… until last March 19 talagang sumabog na ko, we even went to barangays, but the DSWD said that they will get the custody of my niece, so we just din’t bother to continue the case. hay Bo if i will tell you all baka maubos ang space na ito… basta ngayon i just really give it all to him bahala na lang ang panginoon sa kanya alam naman nya lahat lahat….. because i also have my own family to take care of baka magkasakit naman ako eh i still have a toddler son who also need me. for now we just make my niece forget about it and give her more love and attention than before.. sometimess difficult persons are needed in our life to make us a stronger person, otherwise, life will be less boring.
Lord thank you for all this trials and this person who makes my life difficult, because they give colors to my day.
( sometimes i put lord pwede past muna ngayon kasi medyo, wala ako sa mood) LOL
Bo thank you for that topic it makes me realized how much difficult person in our live does not have to be negative,…. GOD Bless YOU!!!!
There’s always something nice and great about people i would consider “difficult”. There always is… Come to think of it, i may also be “difficult” from their point of view!
The best way i handle “difficult” people? I always think everyone was created in God’s image - then they don’t seem difficult anymore.
Dear Bo,
Exactly I am hit by your message. I think the LORD is using you to send the message to me. I have problem with my officemate we have to minimize expenses but some of my officemate even personal expenses was included on their replenishment. A while ago three of my officemate chatting about me maybe their manager call their attention. I hate corrupt people here in our office there are lots of it. I keep on praying to the HOLY SPIRIT that he guide me and the rest of the people so that the company won’t suffer. But I know I can handle the situation it was just work related, there a lot of things i encountered more than this but still nalalagpasan ko. I know that JESUS is leading me everyday. GOD BLESS.
One thing iv’e learned, God allows those difficult person to come into our life for us to become a better person, a better christian. From then , you will understand more the love God has given to us. Everytime i encountered problems, trials, i always think na wala lang to sa hirap na dinanas ni GOD nung ipako siya sa cross. At sa ganun, lahat lahat mawawala lang ….na bawat luha na papatak sa aking mga mata….alam ko katumbas nitoy kaligayahang wlang hanggan. Maybe, its difficult to understand….but the difficult person in my life since i was a child is my MOTHER…..a mother whom u think will protect you from anybody is the one who will make your life miserable…who almost make you crazy. YES, its true….and with that experience muntik na akong mabaliw…and if that happen she (mom) is the reason na mawawalan ng ina ang mga anak ko….then i asked help from GOD……i ONLY believe that theres GOD but knowing him deeper ay HINDI…….that time i knew to myself HE’S REAL….if you just open your heart and surender everything…. you will feel the presence within HIM , HIS love.
Just don’t give up….keep on trying even its hard. I believe i can make that difficult person to be a better one when you learn to forgive. I believe everything happen in my life has reason and i thank that…. just believe! NOthing is possible to HIM.I thank GOD for those trials, yes i do coz it makes me what i am now … Im happy now coz i know HE’S always at my side…. GOD BLESS!!!
well, when i’ll be writing this i’ll be so undefined person promised!
i do believed they exists and i do believed that they are serving different pusposes. This fact now, made me wonder much and is making my actuations specially toward this person, more difficult. I may sound not so clear but its a long story to share to you the details. Hopefully, a brief summary will do.
Im just so dumb in love with this person i knew in college.. We were classmates then and both gained our career here in Manila. Last March 2008, i was just so mean and aggressive to tell him i love him. Only to found out that he’s not yet ready to inter into a relationship. But were dating since that event. I know from the start where I stand in his life…but now, I am hurting my self when some though very simple expectations I have for him won’t be met. Now, my question is: Am I the difficult person or him?
Thanks for reading. Hope you’ll find time sharing your thoughts to me and would in a way help me make things clear.
Yes. We have and he is really getting in all our nerves in the Team. So many are leaving the project now because of him. Even me I sometimes think of it too.
Bro. Bo, everyday I pray that may God touches his heart that he will not become irrational and illogical to us and for me to be more patient and understanding with him. Yet, it seems I couldn’t hold on my temper if he is treating me or others such as a slave person in the office and who is really helpless in every situation, especially nowadays.He is doing it to everyone even to my boss. By the way, our Team composes few companies hence, each company is being represented by big boss too.
I’m sure the continuation of this article you had been posted Bro. Bo will help us understand more deeply why these things happened to us.
Thank you for being a Heaven sent. Hope you’ll include us in your prayers.
God bless you and your family.
emma, huwag kang mag-alala at humingin ng tawad sa nararamdaman mo dahil hindi mo naman kasalanan iyon!
Maganda naman iyong ginawa mo mula sa naramdaman mong iyon e!
Ang mahiwagang yamang kakayahan na binigay sa akin ng Panginoon para sa mga magugulong tao dito sa mundo ay ang aking pagiging inosente, masayahin, at humanistik. Naliligtas ako sa kanila kasi tinitignan ko pa rin ang kagandahan sa loob nila basta hindi ako nagugulo gamit ang mga ito! ;D
Dear Bo,
This particular article comes as a kick in my head, just when I am complaining about this ever difficult person in my life - my boss. I feel he annoys me not only as a boss at work but also as a person in my social life.
I am not sure if I have taken the godly lesson from this person; but I think I got some hints: not to hate him, but to take him just the way he is (coz I want to be loved just the way I am as well); not to swear or curse on him even at my wits end, instead to take him into contemplation.. bottom line is to be patient on him.
It’s easier said than done, eh? I still find myself mocking behind him just for the things he said and done. I sometimes wonder what makes me hate him so; what triggers this negativity. All I can do best now is avoiding him; just to avoid my negative responses coming into surface.
*still dwelling*
Yes Bro. Bo I have a difficult person in my life . . . he is my ex bf for almost 8 months… we’ve been steady for almost 7 years of our relationship… he break up with me 8 months ago…. i could still feel the pain he cause me …. i hate him for giving me this kind of feelings pinaasa nya ako na kami ang magkakatuluyan but all of sudden iniwanan din nya ako at my age ryt now … 29 yrs old im afraid na tatanda akong dalaga and im blame him for that na pakiramdam ko pinaasa nya ako din bigla nalang akong iniwan sa ere ang sakit sakit para sa akin na tanggapin ang lahat…. its very difficult for me to forget and forgive that person. i know too i could blame also my self kong bakit nangyari sa amin un .. .. i m the one also forced him kong bakit nag hanap sya ng iba sa ibang bansa pinaramdam ko rin kc sa kanya na i think i could not wait him for another 2 years because of my age sabi nya kc pinapaaral pa nya ung kapatid nya for another 2 years pero wala naman sya pinangako kong kilan nya ako pakakasalan he left me kc sabi ko daw di naman ako makapaghintay sa kanya which is hindi nya naman sinabi kong until when ako mahhihintay. … 8months na kaming walang communication after our broke up …but still i could not forget him everyday…. its very hard for me to go on with my life ryt now. im still depressed and lonely. i could not still forgive him minsan sinasabi ko napatawad ko n sya but deep inside my heart hindi parin i know kailangan ko na syang kalimutan at patawarin but it’s really really hard for me. andaming evil thoughts ang gusto kong gawin sa kanya at sa babae nya but i know di tama un . . . how i wish i can forgive and forget!
I do have a difficult person in my life and through the years I’ve been constantly hounded by questions from friends and family why I stick it out with this person.
Inside this kind and loving man is a wounded soul and being such he usually makes wrong decisions that hurt not only himself but me as well. But i do and still believe that one day all these will pass and he will be a new person.
If there is one gift this experience taught me that would be faith; faith in the Lord that He will touch this person and heal his wounds; faith in the intrinsic goodness of people (even when sometimes it becomes difficult to surface); and faith in myself that through patience and love I will be able to help and heal this difficult person in my life.
i still have to meet one…
Meeting with different kinds of people don’t warrant me in dealing with difficult persons. In medical world, we must be patient to our patients and it is easier because I know the reason why are they’re acting or behaving such ways. But it is very different from co-workers or superiors… sometimes they are irritating, condescending and they do get into my nerves but I’d rather keep my composure and held on my patience. I don’t retaliate or argue head-on because I know it will be much more stressful for me… I’d rather talk about whatever situation to my closest friend and pray. It is much more lighter for me that way. And I do some meditating or delve myself into deeper thoughts, maybe it is me who are difficult and if I am, I learned to ask for God’s grace to change me because I realize I cannot please nor change everyone… so there…
My boyfriend whose worthless enough and so dependent on me but yet so ungrateful. too bad.
Hi, Bo! It’s so good for you to have thought of this topic! I and my family have a very difficult person in our midst. He is my brother. But I believe God blessed us with him because he is teaching us to be humble, to be understanding, to be patient, etc. He is separated from his wife and son, had been out of job for for 10 years now, got sick with TB and has changed so much physically! He is a very difficult person because
he is very irritable even with slight faults or mistakes,
curses my mother and almost everyone of us in the family; so full of pride, inconsiderate of other’s feelings, and a lot more! He quarrels with everyone: my mother, sister, brother, my children and comments on everyone negatively. When he opens his mouth to speak, there is nothing good and beautiful that he says. We continue day and night praying that he will change; that God will give him wisdom and enlightenment.
Let’s pray for all the difficult persons in the world so that we ourselves will not be difficult persons to them!
Just reading everybody’s share of difficult persons in their lives makes me feel blessed that the difficult persons I have encountered are not members of my family.
Marami din akong na-meet na difficult and from time to time I deal with one in my job (he’s our company’s partner). However, I think God gives difficult persons in our lives “para subukin ang ating pagka-Kristiano”.
Like one of the earlier comments, these people may also label us as difficult din.
Reading the article makes me realize that they are God’s children as well. Kasi minsan if the person is so difficult, we tend to forget that (kasi nga nasa Dark side sya ng force, ba!).
Yes, patience is also enhanced thru experiences with difficult people. One day, we will reach the patience level that they are no longer difficult because we have learned to live with them or God has touched their lives that they change to a better person.
Late last year, this difficult boss called me on 31 Dec to comment on a particular job-related incident (very typical of him). But to my amazement, he asked How I was!!!!! Well that’s unusual and I think that’s God’s work.
Thank you, Lord, for touching this person! Please continue doing so (kasi minsan makulit pa din at unreasonable.
Thanks, Bo for reminding us of the blessings we receive in meeting these people!
God Bless!!!
Hey i am a difficult person………..
It’s been 4 months since I aacepted the job to be the secretary of my boss. I was warned though about his not so good attitude but I still accepted the offer. Since then, my everyday life changed, even my attitude changed. I always have butterfies in my stomach everytime I go to his office. He is really a very difficult person and was not at all comfortable working with him. I learned that he had a difficult past that resulted him to be bitter about life.
But I did not stop from there.. I asked my cell groupmates for prayers.. Every sunday , during our cell meeting, I will always ask them to pray for my boss so that he will be healed. The Lord is so good because He listen to our prayers, my boss is starting to change.. Most of my ofcmates are suprised with his new attitude.. I just told them, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD!!
It’s been 4 months since I aacepted the job to be the secretary of my boss. I was warned though about his not so good attitude but I still accepted the offer. Since then, my everyday life changed, even my attitude changed. I always have butterfies in my stomach everytime I go to his office. He is really a very difficult person and was not at all comfortable working with him. I learned that he had a difficult past that resulted him to be bitter about life.
But I did not stop from there.. I asked my cell groupmates for prayers.. Every sunday , during our cell meeting, I will always ask them to pray for my boss so that he will be healed. The Lord is so good because He listened to our prayers, my boss is starting to change.. Most of my ofcmates are suprised with his new attitude.. I just told them, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD!!
Thank you Lord for the gift of patience. Praise God!
Hi Bro.Bo,
I am a silent reader of your articles and it really helps me a lot.
The first most difficult person in my life is my father.He is selfish,drunkard,irresponsible.He likes to show-off, he`s good to other people but to us his family he is very
mean and unsupportive.He treats my mother as his maid,not as his wife, but somebody that will follow all his commands.
I tried to change our family by helping my siblings go to college,and at the same time helping my mother to get off the financial problems we had then.But after helping them,compromising my own studies just to work for them,they did not even help me to finish my studies,my siblings just go on with their flourishing careers and big salaries.at least they said thank you to me.
It`s really sad that sometimes our family becomes the difficult person in our life,but i`ve learned to accept that reality.
In my prayers i always tell God to bless all the people who made my life difficult and bless me to be a strong person so i can face those people with a smile.
My korean-american manager sometimes cannot talk without hurting people. He has his way of delivering things that are very degrading and ego-shattering. He says that this is to challenge us to strive for the better but people in the dept are slowly moving out because of his attitude (I don’t think he has realized this yet). I dont know if I can stay in this job for long although there are a lot of things I can learn from the company.
God is teaching me to be patient and to love my “enemies”..eto na sya! =) … pray for me.
the most difficult person in my world is also my angel. however the evil inside him is called autism.
my 4 year old son caught this disease for reasons we have not confirmed yet. everyday is a challenge, and everyday it draws me closer to God asking Him to touch my son with His healing hands.
a day has never passed without me feeling how truly blessed i am with my angel and 2 other lovely kids, they never fail to give my stomach butterflies.
u gotta have faith!!!
Hi Bro bo..
up to now nag dududa padin ako sa mister ko kung true na nag bago n sya sa pambabae nya. kc nakaka basa p ko ng mga txt ng girl sa cell nya minsan p nga malalaswa mga txt . wala padin akong peace of mind sa kanya pinag papa sa dios k nalng si lord nlang bahala sa kanya. pero masakit p din po pag po naiisip ko lalo n girl pa baby nmin natatkot ako someday sa kasabihang baka balikan ng karma ang anak namin. Pray ko po kay LORD na patatagin nya ako at maayos n ang relasyon nming mag asawa at mag tino n po ng totoo ang mister ko. tama n po ang pasakit at sakit n naranasan ko sa mister ko ng dahil lang sa girl nya. patawarin po ako ni lord kc lagi ko sinasabi n bangungut sakin mister ko.. bakit mister ko pa ang mag lulubog sakin ..lord help me po…
thanks for having this topic… grabe!!! i always wanted to voice out my sentiments. i’m having problem with my in laws… a brother and a sister in law to be exact. my husband and me live in their house (kaya kasama namin ang brother in law ko sa house) along with our baby and yaya. He’s older than me but he calls me “ate”, he’s a very ill-tempered person although sometimes i feel that namamlastik lang sya ng pakikitungo sa akin kasi nga i’m the wife of his kuya, there are times na he invite me to eat kapag nadadatnan ko syang kumakain or he would acknowledge my presence and sometimes he totally ignore me. It’s okey with me pero kasi my time na sobrang ignore nya ako at pati ang anak kong 2years old ay dinadamay nyang hindi pansinin. I don’t remember anything na ginawa ko or sinabing masama that might have offended him. Pero oftentimes than not, parang wala siyang respeto sa akin. my sister in law on the other hand doesn’t live with us but her two (2) kids (13 girl and 10 boy) stays with us every weekend although during vacation (either summer or christmas vacation) they go to our place. These two kids bugged kasi bata pa lang sila plastic na, (sorry for the term… i just don’t know kung anong term ang mas appropriate…) They were only nice and give respect to me (kiss me on the cheek or mag-mamano) in the presence of my husband or their parents kapag wala sila deadma ako… i could live with it kaya lang pati ang pakikitungo nila sa anak ko pinaplastic din nila. I learned from the yaya na pinagdadamutan nila ang bata, they would even tease her with food and let her watch them eat their food dahil kanila yun. In short kung ano ang food sa bahay sa aming lahat kung sila ang bumili kanila lang. Their mom is also mataray pero i could deal with her, kasi the think pinaplastik ko sila sa pakikitungo ko but GOD knows i’m trying my best to be sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo patient with them… there are alot of things (bad things) that had happened between me and my in laws pero napatawad ko na sila ngayon kaya lang right now pati ang anak ko dinadamay nila… what can a 2 year old kid can do against them. Much as i want to live separately from them but my husband and my salary are not enough so we just stay with them… i still have alot of stories about their “pakikipag-plastikan” with me and my child. Pero like most of us who write here, we are lifting it to GOD! i know that HE is giving me the gift of patience… i’m a very patient person but lately i can’t stand knowing how they treat my child. It’s so unfair kasi wala syang laban… i don’t want her to grow up “madamot” like her cousin but it’s not impossible because she could see them and even hears them saying “bad words” like buwisit and S_ _ T! infront of he… i always cry GOD help me to understand and be more patient with them… but i don’t know until when i could hold on… HELP!!! thank you and GODBless!!!
I work with someone who seems to have the word LAZY embossed on his forehead. Not only that, he is rude, always has side-comments for everything, and worse, acts like the super-busy angel when the big bosses are around. I took that all in stride for a year and a half… Why?
His attitude taught me to be self-sufficient. I relied on my own capabilities, and survived all this time. Just recently, I reported his behavior to my Supervisor, since he behaved rudely in front of a patient we both had. But then, I felt sorry for him, since he still does not understand the purpose of his work.
Like one proverb oncce said. Three men are my friends… he who LOVES me, he who HATES me and he who is INDIFFERENT to me.
He who loves me teaches me COMPASSION, he who hates me teaches me to be ON MY GUARD, and he who is indifferent to me teaches me SELF-RELIANCE.
I work with someone who seems to have the word LAZY embossed on his forehead. Not only that, he is rude, always has side-comments for everything, and worse, acts like the super-busy angel when the big bosses are around. I took that all in stride for a year and a half… Why?
His attitude taught me to be self-sufficient. I relied on my own capabilities, and survived all this time. Just recently, I reported his behavior to my Supervisor, since he behaved rudely in front of a patient we both had. But then, I felt sorry for him, since he still does not understand the purpose of his work.
Like one proverb once said. Three men are my friends… he who LOVES me, he who HATES me and he who is INDIFFERENT to me.
He who loves me teaches me COMPASSION, he who hates me teaches me to be ON MY GUARD, and he who is indifferent to me teaches me SELF-RELIANCE.
thanks for having this topic… grabe!!! i always wanted to voice out my sentiments. i’m having problem with my in laws… a brother and a sister in law to be exact. my husband and me live in their house (kaya kasama namin ang brother in law ko sa house) along with our baby and yaya. He’s older than me but he calls me “ate”, he’s a very ill-tempered person although sometimes i feel that namamlastik lang sya ng pakikitungo sa akin kasi nga i’m the wife of his kuya, there are times na he invite me to eat kapag nadadatnan ko syang kumakain or he would acknowledge my presence and sometimes he totally ignore me. It’s okey with me pero kasi my time na sobrang ignore nya ako at pati ang anak kong 2years old ay dinadamay nyang hindi pansinin. I don’t remember anything na ginawa ko or sinabing masama that might have offended him. Pero oftentimes than not, parang wala siyang respeto sa akin. my sister in law on the other hand doesn’t live with us but her two (2) kids (13 girl and 10 boy) stays with us every weekend although during vacation (either summer or christmas vacation) they go to our place. These two kids bugged kasi bata pa lang sila plastic na, (sorry for the term… i just don’t know kung anong term ang mas appropriate…) They were only nice and give respect to me (kiss me on the cheek or mag-mamano) in the presence of my husband or their parents kapag wala sila deadma ako… i could live with it kaya lang pati ang pakikitungo nila sa anak ko pinaplastic din nila. I learned from the yaya na pinagdadamutan nila ang bata, they would even tease her with food and let her watch them eat their food dahil kanila yun. In short kung ano ang food sa bahay sa aming lahat kung sila ang bumili kanila lang. Their mom is also mataray pero i could deal with her, kasi the think pinaplastik ko sila sa pakikitungo ko but GOD knows i’m trying my best to be sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo patient with them… there are alot of things (bad things) that had happened between me and my in laws pero napatawad ko na sila ngayon kaya lang right now pati ang anak ko dinadamay nila… what can a 2 year old kid can do against them. Kung ako lang kaya kong ihandle but hindi ko kayang makitang pati ang anak ko dinadamay nila sa inis nila sa akin… Much as i want to live separately from them but my husband and my salary are not enough so we just stay with them… i still have alot of stories about their “pakikipag-plastikan” with me and my child. Pero like most of us who write here, we are lifting it to GOD! i know that HE is giving me the gift of patience… i’m a very patient person but lately i can’t stand knowing how they treat my child. It’s so unfair kasi wala syang laban… i don’t want her to grow up “madamot” like her cousin but it’s not impossible because she could see them and even hears them saying “bad words” like buwisit and S_ _ T! She would utter these words na din without knowing the meaning of the word. For three years I’ve been praying for them… even lifting them to the LORD that HE may bless them and touch their hearts… i always cry to GOD everyday to help me, to understand and be more patient with them… but i don’t know until when i could hold on… HELP!!! thank you and GODBless!!!
hi! i would just like to share with you what i have been experiencing right now with a very special friend.. i dont know if i he\’s really a difficult person to deal with but i consider him as one heck of a guy.. i truly love this person and i am very happy when i am with him.. i help him in very inch of the way when he needs my help.. i never fail to text him everyday and he got the same attitude towards me.. i accepted the fact that it cant be the two of us, that we are just friends, best friends most probably.. that was our set up not until last friday (May 9), i texted him at around 1:30 in the afternoon and i didn\’t receive a reply from him until evening.. i texted him repeatedly and he sent a reply at 11 PM with an annoying tone in his text message.. we argued about it that night but to no avail.. but still i keep on texting him everyday until this day.. i tried to ask for help from our friends but they could not persuade him either to talk to me.. one of our friends told me this morning that he is really very \”matigas\” when they are speaking about me.. bro. Bo, he is one of the most important people in my life and i love him so much.. please help me in praying for us.. honestly, i am at the point of giving up buit i know that there is still hope in the Lord.. dakal pung salamat in advance! God bless you and your family!
Bro. Bo, thanks for having this topic… grabe!!! i always wanted to voice out my sentiments. i’m having problem with my in laws… a brother and a sister in law to be exact. my husband and me live in their house (kaya kasama namin ang brother in law ko sa house) along with our baby and yaya. He’s older than me but he calls me “ate”, he’s a very ill-tempered person although sometimes i feel that namamlastik lang sya ng pakikitungo sa akin kasi nga i’m the wife of his kuya, there are times na he invite me to eat kapag nadadatnan ko syang kumakain or he would acknowledge my presence and sometimes he totally ignore me. It’s okey with me pero kasi my time na sobrang ignore nya ako at pati ang anak kong 2years old ay dinadamay nyang hindi pansinin. I don’t remember anything na ginawa ko or sinabing masama that might have offended him. Pero oftentimes than not, parang wala siyang respeto sa akin. my sister in law on the other hand doesn’t live with us but her two (2) kids (13 girl and 10 boy) stays with us every weekend although during vacation (either summer or christmas vacation) they go to our place. These two kids bugged kasi bata pa lang sila plastic na, (sorry for the term… i just don’t know kung anong term ang mas appropriate…) They were only nice and give respect to me (kiss me on the cheek or mag-mamano) in the presence of my husband or their parents kapag wala sila deadma ako… i could live with it kaya lang pati ang pakikitungo nila sa anak ko pinaplastic din nila. I learned from the yaya na pinagdadamutan nila ang bata, they would even tease her with food and let her watch them eat their food dahil kanila yun. In short kung ano ang food sa bahay sa aming lahat kung sila ang bumili kanila lang. Their mom is also mataray pero i could deal with her, kasi the think pinaplastik ko sila sa pakikitungo ko but GOD knows i’m trying my best to be sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo patient with them… there are alot of things (bad things) that had happened between me and my in laws pero napatawad ko na sila ngayon kaya lang right now pati ang anak ko dinadamay nila… what can a 2 year old kid can do against them. Kung ako lang kaya kong ihandle but hindi ko kayang makitang pati ang anak ko dinadamay nila sa inis nila sa akin… Much as i want to live separately from them but my husband and my salary are not enough so we just stay with them… i still have alot of stories about their “pakikipag-plastikan” with me and my child. Pero like most of us who write here, we are lifting it to GOD! i know that HE is giving me the gift of patience… i’m a very patient person but lately i can’t stand knowing how they treat my child. It’s so unfair kasi wala syang laban… i don’t want her to grow up “madamot” like her cousin but it’s not impossible because she could see them and even hears them saying “bad words” like buwisit and S_ _ T! She would utter these words na din without knowing the meaning of the word. For three years I’ve been praying for them… even lifting them to the LORD that HE may bless them and touch their hearts… i always cry to GOD everyday to help me, to understand and be more patient with them… but i don’t know until when i could hold on… HELP!!! thank you and GODBless!!!
Hmm..
I guess the gifts that we receive from these “difficult people” are actually the things we are praying for.
I remember in the movie Evan Almighty, Morgan Freeman, the actor who played God said something like “When we pray for patience, what we get are situations where our patience is being challenged. ”
We don’t directly get things we prayed for, but what we get are the opportunities where we can learn how to acquire those gifts.
a lot has submitted their replies, which really means, there are hell lot of difficult people on earth… haha!
well..let me first say hi to Brother Bo, to all the staff of this incredible site and to all readers…
this comment may not even have the chance to be read by many, coz as i have said,,, there are super duper mega over alot of stories submitted in here, but i decided to take the shot. hoping that there would be others there like me, or others who would understand… and somehow realize that really, these difficult persons make us stronger, more human and most of all, pray to God more and more.
well, i wouldnt like to shock u all, but….
It’s my mom… my loving mom…
She is the hardest working mom in the whole wide world, not to mention witty and possessing a strong personality… but in the past couple of years, we have been burdened by internal family issues, growing financial needs and some other tests of life… this had caused her to be mentally and physically stressed out with work, financial obligations and maternal responsibilities. She is suffering from high blood pressure and some other minor (i hope) abnormalities in her body caused by overworking.
Dont get me wrong, i love her. I really do…
But we people arent created perfect. I wish we were though…
She’s not a mean mom or anything but she’s a PSYCHOLOGICAL TORTURE to our family. I understand that she’s trying to give the best to us and tries to protect us from the world… but her ways are simply beyond normal and nobody seems to understand her conclusions on things. I cant even fight back, considering the culture that we have…i tried to fight back once, unluckily i was just tried by publicity and convicted guilty.
She easily gets angry… and oh my… you wouldn’t wanna make her angry, coz if u do,,, her words will strike u in the heart like lighting from the sky. She’s a living example of the saying “words are mightier than swords”.
I think that a lot of children out there have problems with their parents too,, so if you do, i think u basically understand my abstract description.
i wish i could explain any further, but i just cant, no words are coming out of me and my mind just gave up to tell you guys the whole picture… i think that writing this one is really tough specially that i am referring to my own mom.
For nearly 4 years i hated her like s**t, honestly speaking. Everything changed when i moved here abroad, 2 years ago, to work and to distance my self from her before the hurt i feel inside could lead to anything more destructive like suicide. See that??? i distanced my self from her and from all the people i love…my brothers, my father, my boyfriend, my friends….. a sacrifice i did so that i can live longer…. Everyday for that 4 years, i prayed like no one else ever prayed for God to erase the anger, the pain and the bitternerss i have for her. … and i prayed that God would just give me a miracle to change my mom the way i like her to be; gentle, understanding and careful with decisions and words…. but then God has other plans maybe….
fortunately, i improved a lot within these 2 years im away from them and i guess i have matured a lot over the 2 years i have been working for my own survival. the anger less and less visited me…well… it visits me still but i can already manage i suppose. Now i dont pray anymore for the anger to go away,,, i know, it already is being washed away……..
if you wanna know wether my mom knows i hate her.. well, she does… we had quite a big fight a week before i left philippines ( 2 years ago)…
now i just pray for my mom’s health and i wish that God may give her longer life because also in this 2 years that i am away from her, i realized how important she is to me and how much i love her…. I think she changed slightly, for the better… and i am also contemplating on how i should have dealt with my anger towards her before coz… my goodness, she’s my mom…..
to all the people out there who feel hatred toward a “”difficult”" family member, specially a parent… i suggest, you do something constructive to ease the pain,,, like me…i worked abroad, i am proud to say that that is constructive, i earn money, i mature and at the same time i heal…..((well,,, sadly not yet totally healed,,, but im working my way on it, and eventually, God knows when,,, im gonna be one gogillion percent out of this emotional war i have towards my mom)))
i told you, dont get me wrong….i love her… i really really do……
maybe next year, if God permits me to, i’ll be joining her and my family in the united states…pray for me y’ all…..
Yes we have a very difficult person in our community who always tried to convince others to side him and go against the leader in our community. He wanted to be look up by everybody but sad to say we don’t like his ways. The worst thing is that I have to pass by his house in going to work, to church or whenever I go out. So i prayed hard to God to tone down my pride so that I could greet him whenever he is around when I pass by. God heard my prayer and I’m not angry anymore when I met him. I accepted him that, thats his role in life.
For he is the cause of the break up of our community and now I’m still praying that we can be reunited soon through help of God. Please pray for our community.
like the others, i also have a difficult person in my life at siya’y walang iba kundi ang bro-in-law kong SOBRANG YABANG!!!! just merely thinking of him draws my blood to boil. grabe ang kayabangan ng taong ito. feeling nya righteous siya at ang pamilya nya just because they belong to this certain kind of religiuos group. and one thing that really irritates me is the way he tries to discipline our children. duh?! i-bypass daw ba ang pagiging magulang ko? it’s not that i don’t want him to meddle w/ our family but it’s the way he does it. naturingang religious (sabi n’ya) pero nakikipagmataasan sya.
i just pray that i’d be numb to totally be able to ignore him. haay, Lord! please help me.
It seems to me that most of the “difficult” persons in our lives come mainly from two places: Office and Home. Two places we spend most of our times in,
and palces we thought we are in the company of people who love and understand (home) us the most and where our talents and skills (office) are supposed to be honed and appreciated.
It’s really hard to live each day knowing there are people who make our lives miserable… I, myself, am having a very hard time at work for about a year now because of mean superiors who only think about their personal gains at the expense of others. . .
But I think God sends these people to remind us that He is bigger than anyone. In fact he is the biggest and the most powerful person in the whole universe. And no matter how cruel our bosses and some of our family members are, God is still a lot, lot, lot Bigger and powerful than any of them.
So we need to surrender everything to HIM and in His time we will find the happiness and peace we all deserve to have.
Let’s all pray for each other.
Thanks and God Bless you Bro. Bo.
I laughed out loud when I saw the title of this post.
My mother-in-law is currently the most difficult person in my life, maybe followed closely by my husband
We’ve been living with my in-laws for 9 years. I figured early on that my mother-in-law has a major obsessive-compulsive disorder, a gigantic inferiority complex, and probably schizophrenic. Because I understand that she cannot help what she is, I simply adjusted and learned the ways and means of living a peaceful co-existence. But here’s my current problem:
I have a 2 year-old son and she’s driving all my yayas away with her convoluted rules and unfair accusations! My son is suffering, my work is suffering, and my health is affected. I want out! The solution is quite simple - we have to move out because I have to consider my son’s well-being first.
That’s where my difficult person #2 comes into the picture. My hubby and I get along very well and I love him to bits. But his reaction to any problem is to focus just on the negative aspects and so never arrive at any solutions. He gets depressed. He gets stressed. And he says I’m putting more pressure on him by insisting we make a decision to move out. His comfort zone is very small and any major decision paralyzes him. I, on the other hand, always look for a solution and am very impatient to carry them out! Aaaargghh!!!!
My yayas never stay for more than 3 weeks. I worry that the instability will affect my son so I take care of him as much as possible, which compromises my work. It’s so tiring.
My husband is a blessing. So is my son. Having a house to go home to without having to pay rent is a great blessing. But I’m ready to move on, and I hope that God will provide a way.