One day, I was talking to a young woman who said, “I want to quit my job!

My job is killing me. I’m so stressed. I’m getting sick. I have hair loss. I cannot sleep well at night. I want to resign, Brother Bo!”

For eight years, I would bump into her every so often—sometimes at The Feast, other times in a seminar. We would greet each other and then she would tell me the same thing every time. She would say, “Brother Bo, I will really resign this
time!” Deep inside me, I thought, You’ve been saying that for years and you haven’t done it.

Then one day, I sat down with her and had more time to talk. I said, “I noticed something. It’s funny how you keep saying you’ll resign but you never do. Why?”

She finally brought up the real reason. The benefits of the job are good: her company gives her a car, she has a nice salary, and she can travel.

My dear friend, this is what I call attachments.

This is also applicable to relationships. Sometimes, we maintain relationships with people who are bad for us because they stress us, emotionally drain us, or belittle us.

Some people maintain toxic relationships because there are attached benefits that they cannot let go of.

Here are five things that you must do to get rid of the toxic attachments in your life.

1. Admit that it’s bad for you.

I’m the preacher who likes to say we should focus on the positive and the good things happening in our lives. But if there is a toxic attachment in your life, you do the opposite: focus on the negative.

Let’s say you’re in a toxic relationship. You magnify how stressful and ugly it is. You focus on how you are stuck and not growing. You magnify the many times this person deceived you and stole from you, or that person who destroyed your reputation and lied to you.

Think five years down the road. If you do not let go of your toxic job or relationship, what will happen to you? Imagine how bad your future self will be.

2. Admit why you are attached.

Why are you fettered to this damaging habit, relationship, or situation? If you are attached because there are benefits, identify them.

For instance, it’s good you have a boyfriend because you can go around saying that you have one—even if he’s toxic or a liar. But you need to understand that, yes, there is a benefit, but it comes at a very high cost.

3. Focus on caring for yourself.

When you value yourself, you’ll realize, “Wait a minute, I need to let go of this attachment to love myself.”

4. Seek help.

You cannot do this on your own. You have to be accountable to other people and say, “Please help me to let go of this.” Tell them and ask them for prayer.

You may also go to a counselor. The Light of Jesus Pastoral Care Center can help you. Contact them at 0923 132 3071 or visit www.lojpcc.com. You may also find them on Facebook (Light of Jesus Pastoral Care).

5. Pray for the grace to let go.

At the end of the day, your self-worth is not based on your job or position at work. It doesn’t lie on whether you have a boyfriend or not. Your attachment to that unhealthy person or thing is rooted in your insecurity.
But know that God should be the basis of your self-worth. His love for you should be the source of your healthy self-esteem.

So, pray for the grace to let go of what damages you.

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