PARENTS ARE POTTERS

When I was in the mountains of Sagada, I visited a potter making clay jars.

It was an incredibly enchanting sight. It was hypnotic. Shaping clay in a potter’s wheel was poetry in motion. And while I was watching him, I realized that potters have one paramount character that stands above all other traits. All his skill rests upon this one- character trait. I believe it’s the number one requirement to become a potter.

Do you know what it is?

It’s patience.

And that’s when I recalled a verse in the Bible that said, “But the jar he was making did not turn out as he had hoped, so he crushed it into a lump of clay again and started over” (Jeremiah 18:4).

That’s why I believe there is no such thing as an “impatient potter.” If a potter is not patient, he won’t be able to make a single jar. Not one!

Why? Clay jars can only be made slowly. There are no push buttons in this ancient craft. No gizmos or gadgets or computers or microwave ovens. Everything has to be done with patience.

In the same way, great parents are patient parents, because shaping the life of your child is a slow process that takes time.

Patience means two things to a potter . . .

Patience Means Gentle Pressure

Don’t you notice?

It’s only at the start—when the clay is but a clump of clay—where heavy pounding is necessary.

But immediately after, the potter no longer needs to pound. After a while, all potters are gentle. Potters can’t force the clay with a heavy hand, or it gets deformed. He has to be gentle with the clay. The only pressure allowed in pottery is gentle pressure.

Great parents are experts in gentle pressure. You can’t use heavy-handed force on your children, or it deforms a child. The Bible says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged” (Colossians 3:21).

Many parents, because of a lack of patience in dealing with their teenagers, have made their children discouraged. The number one complaint of teens is, “Daddy and Mommy don’t listen to me.” Why? Because listening requires patience and humility and gentleness. When you listen, you don’t keep talking.

Patience also means one more thing . . .

Patience Means a Lot of Waiting

After the potter has done his tedious work of shaping the clay, he does not yet have a finished product. He still has to put it in the wood-fired oven and let the heat do its work. He has to wait and trust that it will turn out all right. Parents, you also need to surrender your children to the fire of God’s love.

The Bible says, “But the jar he was making did not turn out as he had hoped, so he crushed it into a lump of clay again and started over” (Jeremiah 18:4).

Potters never give up on the clay. Even if the clay jar turns out badly, they just start over.

In the same way, parents never give up on their child—no matter how much bad things they do.

Right now, you may be overwhelmed because your child has done a very bad thing. Ask yourself: Have you also done some bad things when you were growing up? Yet look at you—you’re doing well.

All crisis is temporary.

Tell yourself, “This too shall pass.”

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