One day, a Genie appeared to a woman and said, “This is your lucky day! I will give you 3 wishes.”
“Yeheey!” the woman squealed.
“But on one condition,” said the Genie, “Whatever you ask for, your husband will receive 3 times more.”
The woman frowned, “What? But I hate my husband! He’s a despicable man!”
The Genie shook his head. “I’m sorry. I’m the Love Genie. I repeat: What you ask for, your husband will receive 3 times more.”
The woman said, “Oh, okay. My first wish: Make me very rich. I want $1 Million.”
The Genie asked, “Are you sure? Your husband will have $3 Million.”
She says, “Oh, never mind. What is his is mine and what is mine is his.”
“Very well then!” the Genie said, and with a wave of his hand, “Poof!” and the woman had $1 Million–and her husband had $3 Million.
“My second request is that I want to be very beautiful.”
The Genie asked, “Are you sure? Your husband will look like Piolo Pascual and John Lloyd and Daniel Padilla put together. This is very dangerous. The girls will flock to him.”
The woman said, “Just as long as I’ll be beautiful.”
And with the wave of his hand, “Poof!” and she became utterly beautiful and the husband three times more handsome.
The woman then said, “For the third wish, I would like to have a very mild heart attack…”
Here’s the lesson: Whatever you give to yourself, you give to others more.
If you like yourself, you’ll like others too.
If you dislike yourself, you’ll dislike others too.
Because life is a mirror. What you see in others is a reflection of what you see in yourself.
I’ve met very critical people. Sometimes, I think they feel that they were born to criticize others. It’s their life mission. All they do is size up everyone they meet and point out their mistakes. Where does this critical spirit come from? In their heart of hearts, I believe they don’t like themselves. And they project this self-criticalness on others.
This “disliking ourselves” is more widespread than we think…
It’s An Epidemic
At their inner core, people don’t feel good about themselves. Like background music playing 24 hours a day, people inflict upon themselves self-rejection, self-doubt, self-contempt.
It’s an epidemic in the world today, and it’s robbing people of much happiness.
Where does this sickness of self-hatred come from?
Self-hatred comes from fear. After all, hate is fear. We hate what we fear.
Specifically, we fear we’re not enough. Bottom line, we fear we’re unloved.
And when we don’t like ourselves, we try to solve it by many common false solutions. For lack of space, let me give you two here. One is having Status Symbols. The other is Religious Performance.
Collecting Status Symbols
I know a lot of people who clutch, grab, and collect Status Symbols.
I remember the story of the guy with a BMW. After parking, as he opened the door, another car crashed it and ripped out his door–together with his entire arm.
When the police came, they saw the guy looking at his mashed up BMW and crying, “My car! My car! It’s gone…”
The police said, “Excuse me sir, but don’t you realize that your arm is gone?”
The man looked at where his arm was supposed to be, and when he saw nothing, began to cry, “Oh my gosh! Where’s my Rolex?”
Some are so attached with their Status Symbols.
You see these people walking in malls. Shirt by Lacoste. Shoes by Bally. Watch by Rolex. Waistline by Lechon Kawali.
I was talking to a friend who wore a Rolex watch. I asked him, “I’m curious. Why are you wearing a P300,000 watch on wrist?”
His answer made me very sad. He said, “Honestly? To make me feel like somebody. To make me feel good about myself.”
Wow. If I want to feel good, I breathe. I smile. I pray. I love.
Let me give you another false solution to not liking ourselves…
We Make God In Our Image
The other false solution is Religious Performance.
When we don’t like ourselves, some get into religious practices to appease a God that they believe also doesn’t like them. Why?
Because life is a mirror.
Because we make God in our image and likeness.
Because we project our self-hatred on God.
For years, I used to be like this. I prayed, read the Bible, and did my religious work because I wanted the approval of an angry God.
No more.
I do all these because He loved me first. (1 John 4:19)
So how do you start liking yourself a lot?
May your dreams come true,
Bo Sanchez
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