I’m letting Marowe write this one.
Enjoy!
Your goal is to lessen your dependence on dopamine, decrease cortisol production, and increase oxytocin in their bodies.
I know what you’re thinking. “What is Marowe talking about? Is she high?”
I’m not on drugs.
But in one sense, we all are.
We all have natural chemicals produced by our bodies.
With your permission, let me geek out a bit.
I’d like share about 3 natural chemicals in our body: Dopamine, Cortisol, and Oxytocin.
Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor or psychologist.
But I love sharing what I read.
When it comes to these natural chemicals, there are 3 things you MUST do…
1) Stop your dependence on Dopamine
2) Decrease your Cortisol
3) Increase your Oxytocin
Holy Moly.
What in the world are we talking about?
Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor or psychologist.
But these are hormones that’s at work within you now.
And knowing how they work will be a game changer.
Here they are…
1. Dopamine: The Happy Hormone
When people feel sad, some overeat or “add to cart”. When we do that, our bodies produce dopamine. The problem is dopamine is addicting. Sadly, social media is fueling our dopamine addiction. Seeing an entertaining post in IG or Tiktok is a tiny dopamine hi.
And we want more and more and more. No wonder Filipinos use social media for more than four hours a day.
And we’re not conscious that it’s already an addiction.
2. Cortisol: The Stress Hormone
Cortisol is a useful hormone for fight or flight responses.
When our ancestors were in the jungle and a lion appears in front of them, shots of cortisol are released in our bloodstream, elevating our sugar for the extra energy to run away from Simba.
It also dials down or even shuts down other bodily functions that are not needed during emergency. Useful, right?
The problem is modern-day lions are no longer Simba but a bully, an abusive friend, a terror teacher, or a monster mother.
Or a persistent problem.
We can run away from Simba and our cortisol drains out of our system in a snap. But when we have to deal with an extremely difficult person every single day, our bodies will produce cortisol for many hours constantly.
Note: Even the anticipation of something bad manufactures it.
In family settings, when a mother uses criticism and sarcasm on her child, the child produces cortisol. I cringe at the many times I’ve been guilty doing this.
Now I know there’s another natural chemical that I should have helped create in my kids…
3. Oxytocin: This is the Bonding Chemical
This is caused by deep bonds in long-term relationships.
When our child is going through a negative experience, and you’re there for her, listening and accepting, not judging, not minimizing, not rationalizing—you’re creating oxytocin in voluminous amounts in your child. Here’s an example. When you see your child sulking and with tearful eyes say, “Jam isn’t talking to me.” (Jam is her best friend.)
The worst thing you can do is say, “What did you do to her? You must have hurt her with your rudeness. You can be rude sometimes, you know…”
OR “Why are you sulking? You have lots of friends!”
OR “That’s your problem? My gosh, there are so many children in Africa starving. Be grateful!”
If you want to produce oxytocin in our child, you simply hug and listen to her, trying to understand what she’s going through. Practical advice should be postponed when she’s calmer.
Let me say it again: As parents, our goal is to lessen our kid’s dependence on dopamine, decrease cortisol production, and increase oxytocin in their bodies.”
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