“Help me, Bo. I’m falling in love with my boss.”
I’ve known Lucy for some time now and her silliness betrays a deep spiritual maturity in this married woman.
“Tell me about it,” I said solemnly.
“Oh Bo, he’s gorgeous. He’s a cute American and I get red all over whenever I’m in front of him.”
“Brad Pitt look-alike?”
“He’s got a tall nose and you know my husband’s pango.”
“Let me guess. Your husband’s probably Filipino.”
“And you should hear my boss talk. He speaks English so fluently.”
“Hmm, I wonder why…”
“Oh Bo, what should I do?”
I smiled and said, “First of all, congratulations.”
“For what? I feel dirty. Sinful. Evil to the bone. I don’t like feeling this way. Bo, I’m a married woman!”
“Congratulations because you’re human. Do you think married women don’t get attracted to men other than their husbands?”
“Well, I thought it wouldn’t happen to me.”
“Let me ask you a few questions. First, do you see your boss in private places?”
“Of course not! I don’t even dare ride in the same car with him even if it’s a business trip. I just pop up wherever the meeting is!”
“Good girl. Do you fantasize about him?”
“No. I’d like to… but I’ve been able to get rid of thoughts like that so far.”
“Fantastic. Next question: When you dress up in the morning, do you find yourself dressing better, putting on more make-up, for Mr. Brad Pitt?
“Oh why do you know my torments?”
“It’s my job.”
“Honestly, I get tempted to do that. When I open my closet, I want to pick the sharpest dress with a great matching scarf when I know I’ll be in a meeting with him. But I simply say no.”
“Lucy, can I congratulate your husband right now? He’s one lucky chap.”
She smiled and hugged me. “Thanks. I knew you’d say that.”
“Okay, I’ve got a few recommendations.”
“I’m writing it down here,” she pointed to her brain.
“Do you have a picture of Mr. Pango in your table?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Enlarge it. About five meters by nine meters.”
She laughed. “Next?”
“Can your husband sometimes pick you up for lunch?”
“I think he can squeeze that in.”
“When he does, be sure that you kiss each other in front of everyone else on the lips for not less than twenty-five minutes. Tell the world–and your boss–that you’re a happily married woman!”
Lucy left happy that day. And so did I.
Because of her, I knew there was hope for humanity.
May your dreams come true,
Bo Sanchez
