The Only Thing That Can Heal Your Emotional Wounds?

       Have you been hurt before?

Have you ever been rejected by others? Ridiculed? Maligned? Gossiped about?

Have you been cheated? Betrayed? Lied to? Stolen from?

If your answer is yes, then I’m writing to the right person.

That means you have emotional wounds, and my big message for you is that there’s only one thing that can heal your wounds.

Let me start by talking about something of great cosmological and eternal significance: My bloody ingrown toenail. 

Sometimes called hangnail. 

Let me translate that in Pilipino: hangnail is kukong nagbigti.

Anyway, would you believe my ingrown toenail lasted for two years? Because the nail kept re-growing, puncturing my wound again and again. The wound got infected and my entire toe was filled with foul-smelling yellow pus. (I apologize for grossing you out. I’m actually doing it on purpose and having fun.)

This is my claim to sainthood. If St. Francis of Assisi had his stigmata, I had my two-year old bloody ingrown toenail.

After two years, my mother scared me to death and said if the wound doesn’t get well, they might have to cut off my toe.

I loved my toe.

So I visited a doctor. And he said he had to pull out half of my toenail. I fainted.

I still remember that fateful day. The anesthesia didn’t work because of the pus. So I felt like San Lorenzo Ruiz who was tortured in the same way. (Please mention this tiny detail in my sainthood application.)

Here’s how the Doc did it.

Step 1: He pushed his scissors in between my nail and my toe, all the way to the very end. The pain was so horrific, I was ready to recant anything he told me to recant. Even my love for peanut butter.

Step 2: He cut my entire toenail into two. “Snap!”

Step 3: He got his metal pliers and yanked out half of my toenail. Blood and pus spurt like a little fountain.

But it worked. 

My wound was now free to heal itself. What lasted for two years took only a few days to heal.

Why am I telling you this gory story?

To tell you that your emotional wounds are just like physical wounds. Bitterness is like the ingrown—it keeps the original wound alive by puncturing it again and again. So your emotional wound doesn’t heal.

And your soul gets infected.

If you’re not careful, the emotional wound can grow until it amputates parts of you, slowly killing you.

I’ve met people like these.

I pity them so much. They’re like the living dead. They are alive but they’re dead.

Like Minette, for instance.

Pressing The Rewind Button Again

       Minette’s husband left her three years ago.

But when you talk to her, it was like it happened yesterday.

       Adultery is one of the deepest wounds a human heart can have. After entrusting your entire life to one person, that one person betrays that trust. 

But I believe even the emotional wound of adultery can be healed. I’ve met many wives whose husbands became unfaithful—and they were able to move on by the power of forgiveness.

       But Minette couldn’t forgive.

       Because everyday, she pressed the “Rewind” button of the most hurtful scenes.

Today, Minette has cancer. It doesn’t take a psychologist to connect the dots. Her bitterness was eating up her body as well.

       But it doesn’t have to be this way.

       I should know.

I Forgive For Selfish Reasons

       I was sexually molested twice, not by strangers on the street, but by an older cousin and by my own youth group leader. William Blake said, “It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.” That’s so true.

Those traumatic events warped my thinking, opened my life to addictions, and gave me self-contempt that would affect my entire life. I hated myself. I was ashamed of myself. Oh yes, my wounds were deep.

Yet in my heart, I’ve forgiven them. Totally.

I’ve released the bitterness in my soul.

Why? 

Because of a very selfish reason.

Remember: Forgiveness is first of all a gift you give yourself.

I forgave because I wanted peace.

I wanted to move on with my life.

I wanted to get rid of the emotional baggage.

I wanted to be free.

And today, I am!

Let me share with you one more personal experience…

When You Forgive,

You Bless Your Future

Many years ago, I started a tiny business with a friend. I was the investor and he was the guy who ran the show. 

One day, I saw him with a new cell phone. A really cool, top-of-the-line thing that had everything you could think of—camera, video-cam, GPRS, missile guidance system, and an umbrella.

“Wow, that’s a great cell phone,” I said.

“This is a gift. Someone gave it to me,” he said.

The next time we meet, he brought a new laptop.

“That’s really nice,” I said.

“Oh, this is also a gift…,” he said.

A few months later, the business collapsed.

After looking at the records, I realized I was the one who gave them to him! 

He was stealing from the business.

A year later, he came to me and asked for forgiveness. I forgave him even before he asked for forgiveness. 

Here’s the reason why I forgave him. 

Again, I did it for selfish reasons. I didn’t want to waste any of my time and energy trying to get the money back. Instead, I wanted to use all my time and energy to earn ten times what I lost. I used my frustration to create more wealth. I wanted to focus on the future, not the past. I wanted to focus on my dreams, not my wounds.

Imagine if you lost one peso. And you have two options: Spend one hour looking for that one peso or spend that same hour earning P100 somewhere else?

A bitter person will choose the first option. Crazy but true.

Today, let me report to you: I’ve earned many, many times what I lost from that tiny business.  This is the power of forgiveness. It heals your wound and blesses your future. That’s why I believe forgiveness is one of God’s greatest inventions!

Let me tell you how to forgive…

Stage One: Get Angry

Forgiveness is not a one-stage process. 

It’s a two-stage process.

Here they are…

Stage One: Get angry.

Stage Two: Release the anger.

That’s it.

Don’t be shocked, but anger is the first stage of forgiveness.

You have to admit the hurt.

You have to acknowledge the pain.

You have to say, “What he did to me was wrong.” 

Some people think forgiveness is pretending nothing bad happened. That’s not true. If you’re angry, feel the anger.

But you must express your anger in a non-hurtful way, without screaming or attacking. Bring your anger before God. Share your pain to a few trusted friends. Ask for prayer. Go ahead, cry. Offer your tears to God.

Anger heals because it’s about loving yourself—and love always heals. Anger means you’re standing up for you. As an abuse victim, I had to do this. Anger is needed to rebuild my broken personal boundaries.

How long should you stay in Stage One?

Not too long.

Because anger has an expiry date.

How Long Have You Been Angry?

Here’s the truth: Bitterness and anger is one and the same thing. But Bitterness is anger past its expiry date.

Let me illustrate.

I love spaghetti.

Served hot, it’s wonderful. 

But left on the kitchen counter for a whole day, it may still be good but be careful. 

After two days, you may get an upset stomach. 

After one week, there’ll be more germs than spaghetti. At that point, the plate of spaghetti has become poison

Just like anger. 

If anger stays too long in your heart, your anger no longer heals but kills. When anger turns into bitterness, it’s poison.

The Bible says, “the sun must not go down in your anger.”

I believe it. Except perhaps for severe wounds (like abuse, adultery, betrayal, etc.), I feel Stage One should not last for more than a day. I’m talking about the regular hurts we encounter everyday. Before nightfall, move onto Stage two.

But deeper wounds may need weeks or even months of anger and grief. For deeper wounds, I believe there’s no clear divide between Stage One and Two. There’ll be an overlap. But your movement must be towards Stage Two.

       Because that’s where the real magic happens.

Stage Two: Release Anger

 

In Stage Two, you decide to forgive. Key word: Decide.

It’s not about feeling, but about willing. The feelings of anger can linger (that’s normal) but the decision has already been made in your heart.

Remember, Love is a decision, not just a feeling. If forgiveness is love, then forgiveness is a decision too.

But here’s a very important footnote: Forgiveness isn’t necessarily bringing back the relationship to where it was before. If you caught your boyfriend cheating on you, what should you do? Forgive him! But that doesn’t mean you have to get back with him again. That’s all up to you.

Let’s say you caught your boyfriend cheating on you twice. What should you do? Again, you have to forgive him. Now, do you get back into his arms? If you’re a psychotic with sadomasochistic tendencies, go ahead. Your desires will be granted.

Forgiveness is also not opening up yourself to more hurt. For example, if your alcoholic husband beat you up, you still need to forgive him; But do you back into the house? No way. You run away and never see him until he gets counselling and stops drinking for 6 months.

Forgiveness Heals The “Enemy”

The cousin who molested me has long been dead. So forgiving him in my heart was enough. 

       The youth group leader who sexually abused me is still alive. After 30 years, I have yet to face him. You see, I reported his name to a Bishop, asking that he be barred from doing any religious work until he gets help for his perversion. I had to protect other young boys who may be working with him. He has yet to come to me to ask for forgiveness. But even if he does not, I’ve forgiven him—and sent that “spiritually” to him.

       The guy who stole money? As I said, he asked for forgiveness, and I was able to say to him, “I forgive you.”

       When you forgive someone, you also offer healing to that person. Whether he accepts it or not is not your concern.

And by some magic, you don’t only heal yourself and the other person. You also heal all your loved ones.

Forgiveness Heals Everyone In Your Life

      

Imagine a room of ten people.

And one person there stepped on poop. (Sorry, my article is really gross today—about ingrowns and poop. But bitterness is gross.) Slowly, everyone in the room smells the awful stench. Only one person has the poop, but everyone is affected by it.

Bitterness is like that.

It wounds everyone. Your family. Your friends.

Bitterness is an evil spirit and people feel it. They smell the poison. They sense it. They want to run away.

Sometimes, when I enter a home filled with conflicts, I feel the collective wound of the family. You cannot breathe.

But when a person forgives, he’s like opening a window in a smelly room because one person stepped on poop. Fresh air comes in. If bitterness wounds everyone, forgiveness heals everyone too.

       My last story is a story that I created, adapted from other sources. Be blessed as you read it.

The Son Who Hated His Father

       “Hi John,” the priest greeted his favorite nephew.

       “Fr. Chris,” the young man said, his voice betraying his troubled soul.

       The cleric felt so much pity for the teen. “I heard you’re having problems with your father.”

       A frown formed on John’s face. “You know him. He’s your brother. You know he’s impossible to deal with. He’s so selfish. He’s so cruel…” He fought back his tears.

       “Tell you what, son,” the priest tried to sound encouraging, “let’s pray for him.” He stood up and pinned the photo of the boy’s father on the wall.

       “What’s that?” John asked. The sight of his father’s face stung him. He clenched his fists.

       The priest said, “It’s just a way to help us pray for him. It’ll be our visual connection to your father.”

       “But I don’t want to pray for him!” the young man shouted.

       At that moment, the phone rang. “Excuse me, son,” Fr. Chris said, “let me answer this call and I’ll get back to you right away.” He left the room.

       John found himself alone, staring at the photo of a man he despised with his entire being. Seething with rage, he saw a knife on the kitchen counter. On impulse, he grabbed it and ran back to the photo of his father. “I hate you!” he screamed, and stabbed the photo many, many times.

       That was when Fr. Chris ran back. “Oh my God…,” The priest said, as he could only look in horror.

His energy spent, John thrust the knife into the photo one last time.

He took one step backward, panting.

“John, I had other photos there,” Fr. Chris said.

“What?” The young man looked at the priest. 

Fr. Chris walked to the wall and removed the damaged photo.

John couldn’t believe his eyes.

Because underneath it was John’s photo. Also torn.

The priest explained. “After praying for your father, I wanted to pray for you, John.”

The young man looked at his damaged photo. His face was torn, punctured by the same stabbing he himself made.

Tears rolled down his cheeks.

       But even as his vision blurred, John noticed that there was something else behind his torn photo.

He pulled it off the wall.

       Underneath his photo was the picture of Jesus, His face, also torn, also wounded.

And John collapsed on his knees, and wept for a long time.

— 0 —

      

This is the ultimate reason why we forgive: Because even if we sin against God, He still forgives us. We don’t deserve His love, but He loves us anyway.

       Heal yourself, my friend.

       Forgive anyone who has wronged you.

       May your dreams come true,

       Bo Sanchez

PS. If you want to get to know others who love God too, sign up at www.BoPlanet.com now. It’s like our private Facebook.

PS2. Larry Gamboa and I will give the Think Rich Pinoy Seminar this November 21 at the Philamlife Building in UN avenue in Manila. Larry will discuss his unique Real Estate methods, buying foreclosed properties and turning them around for passive income. You’ll also get to play Robert Kiyosaki’s CashFlow Game and learn! To attend, click here now.

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177 Responses to “The Only Thing That Can Heal Your Emotional Wounds?”

  1. Hey Bo!

    Thanks for the article, it was really good.

    However, I have a question:
    How can you forgive yourself, if I’ve been the one that has betrayed myself for a long time (around five years)?

    Anyway, thanks man! That was a very good read! :D

  2. hi bro!

    i’ve been reading your blogs for a few days now and it really touches my soul.. this article is a blessing.. there is really divinity that comes from forgiveness.. may God continually fill you with His power to write powerful messages as this.. thank you and God bless!

  3. thanks Bro. Bo,..its really true, forgiveness is one of God’s greatest inventions.
    If you forgive someone who wronged you, it may not change him but definitely it will change you…continue on loving and forgiving…

    Maybe its really the hardest thing, to forgive yourself…well i think you shoudnt be too hard on yourself, God forgave you so you should accept and and live on the way He wanted you too…He wanted us to be happy not sorry for the rest of our lives.

    Godspeed!

  4. Yes Bro. Bo I also believe forgiveness is a choice we make through a decision of our will, motivated by obedience to God and his command to forgive.
    The Bible instructs us to forgive as the Lord forgave us:

    Colossians 3:13
    Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

    Glory to GOD!

  5. Thanks for this another inspiring story.

    True enough that joy or misery is a choice that we have to make daily.

    Forgiveness= Joy; Bitterness= Misery.

    We have to realize that negative emotions are the windows of our soul and they will teach us about who we are and what exactly we need from God. Emotions need to be felt. We cannot let go of what we have not held. There are no short cuts they say. We can’t go around them, over them or skip them. The only way is through the negative emotion. Never run away from that bad feeling or cover it up with busyness. Allow yourself to feel the pain. Don’t judge it, criticize it, intellectualize it, and explain it away. Allow God to tenderly embrace you in your pain.

    And I just love every detail that has been written here, thanks Bo.

    -bEth

  6. Wow! Thanks for this article Bro Bo! May you keep on healing people!

  7. sometimes it is easier said than done. but i believe doing it eventually is the greatest reward one gives oneself.

  8. yes forgivess brings more happiness. and its very light to the feeling when you give your forgiveness to a particular person & it also goes the same feeling if you as well is forgiven.

  9. Thank you Bo for another inspiring article. I also make use of anger to feed my passion. But sometimes it takes me a lot of time to forgive because I also press the “rewind button”. I know you are right, we all need to forgive and let go, and the sooner, the better!

  10. Hi Bo,

    I’m currently experiencing a lot of struggle and my faith was put into test. All the example from the article was like my life being told here…after reading the article…i prayed and offer all my hurt, prayed for guidance that i maybe be able to find forgiveness and to move on with my life…but with a major change…IT’S NOW GOING TO BE ME and My GOD who will guide me and change me to become a better person..

    Thanks for the inspiration…Keep it up! God Bless

    Macel

  11. This article was a 100% linked on me, thank you for posting it. I may say i’m always pressing the “rewind button”….always recalling the past when i’m angry to a person. Forgiveness is a key to have a peace of mind in your everyday life…But could you help me to pray…… I don’t know why i’m so emotional right now which sometimes affect my relationship to a person….
    But thank you for this article coz realized a lot of things.

  12. Thanks, Bro Bo…… ^^
    That was illuminating… Haha…
    GBU…

  13. my boyfriend had just broke up with me. i get angry at times but i did offer my tears to the Lord..
    i also wanna forgive him….. for God..

    Praise the Lord!!!!!!!
    Idont wanna get angry for too long………….

  14. Sir BO,

    ano ba yan sir BO,timing na naman ang message na eto para sa akin it very GOD’S time talaga…

    FORGET AND FORGIVE ika nga….

    GODBLESS US ALL………….YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    THANKS,
    RAUL

  15. Thank you for a very good article!!! I learned a lot. One of my weakness is forgiving, now I understand and know what should I do….

    Thank you again! God Bless!

  16. bro. bo,
    you have no idea how this article affects me.
    times two.
    please pray for me.
    thank you.

  17. This article really had it all about bitterness and forgiveness. I can totally relate because I’ve been there, suffered that, and totally forgiven the person who betrayed me. What you’ve written here coincides with my experiences and I couldn’t have expressed it any better than you did.

    Thanks Bo!

  18. Nice article,I love it, I already forgive those who hurt me, even though they haven’t ask for it.

  19. very inspiring article :)
    food for my sou.
    ive realized after reading this article that forgiving is process. Take one step at a time and everything will be blessed. :)

  20. Last april 2009 I had the worst experience of Losing my job, I was forced to resign due to the principle of command responsibility and added dirty office politics, at that instant i seek some legal advices for me to seek justice..but alas..the cost of attorneys was way out of my capability to pay. For several weeks i tried to find ways to get even..to seek justice…but the LORD almighty really works in his mysterious ways..from time to time i was dodging interviews, most of the time rejected because of my overqualifications…my credit card bills ballooned up..i pulled out my daughters “kumon class’ because i cant afford it..The only person who i can talk to is my wife, whom she gave me advice to let go of all the anger and frustrations..I then realized after praying.What do i really need? Justice or Revenge?..I then surrendered all of my hardships to the MASTER…But then a headhunter called me up and was scheduled for an interview…I was suprised then and was accepted as a manager..whom I am earning 1.75X my recent salary minus the pressures and temptations of my past job..right know im starting to live a healthy life..exercising everyday(gym is nearby office)..Arriving home before 8pm…having regular weekends with my family…its starting to be a heaven for me…but imagine if i dwelled in my anger and frustrations…it will sure be a waste of effort and emotions…besidses…the company that forced me to resign is now my top client…hehehe what an irony…Real Justice is served…In a Silver Platter…Kudos Cheers!

  21. ooops i forgot to tell you…I forgave all the persons involved..its a good thing they did that… :-)

    GOD IS AWESOME!!

  22. Very inspiring. After reading, It inspires me to forgive also my enemies.

    Thanks Bro.

  23. Indeed forgiveness brings healing, i’ts so true. As for me, I had made wrong decisions influenced by wrong belief, and because of that I disliked myself. But when I decided to forgive myself, I had peace and most of all I come to love myself and to see myself as one of GOD’s beautiful creation. Better opportunities came, more friend and wonderful things came into my life. Forgiveness was also like opening the door of the abundant Universe.

  24. Hi,

    I have a question. How can u forgive someone to the person, who didnt asked for forgiveness? I tried but i still cant forgive them… Is it better to just pray for this hoping that someday things will get better?

    Thanks..

  25. hi bro.bo,

    thank you so much for this wonderful article :) before reading this article i was in a depress mode..since my boyfriend & I separated i feel like im a loser.sobrang laki ng help ng article na to para makamove on ako.. :)
    after reading this article natauhan ako :) may magandang bukas pala na naghihintay sa akin.. maraming salamat po :)

    best regards,
    joyce

  26. hi bro.bo,

    P.S. nakakatouch po ung last story about the son who hates his father, naiyak po ako, mas dun ko po nadama ang tunay na kahulugan ng forgiveness.. :)

  27. Been hurt and betrayed by people i dearly love many times. It’s been years but i just can’t forgive. You’re right Bo, the anger is eating up my whole being. I want to forgive, move on and have my peace back, but i am finding it really hard. But im still hoping that i’ll be free from this bitterness so i can be happy again.

    Thanks for the article though.

    God bless you more!

  28. Does forgive and forget applies?

  29. Bo,
    This article really struck me as I am struggling from too much bitterness against several people who have hurt me in the past. This is really inspiring. I am trying so hard to let go of this pain because it hurts me so and this article really hit the bull’s eye! Thanks!

  30. Bro. Bo!

    When it comes to forgiveness I look up to my dad…

    My mom has a property in Tarlac. My mom’s cousin humbly “sweet talked” them to broker for the sale of the property and demanded a small sum of money for representation and also to complete the documents. My mom told my dad about the bad reputation of her cousin.

    My dad told my mom, “we know about his reputation, but in humility he asks to be given a chance. He is only asking for a small amount. If indeed he has changed then the amount is too small a reward. If he hasn’t then it is such a small risk to take… If we don’t take the risk how else will we know if he has changed?

    It is always good to be given the opportunity to forgive, but best to be given the opportunity to be forgiven.

    I thank God for my dad!

    Thanks Bo for the inspiration!

  31. well said… this article is inspired by the Holy Spirit.

    God bless!

  32. Hi Bo.

    This article is so timely for me. I’ve been bitter for around a couple of months now. I’m so demotivated and I’m losing direction. I don’t know what to do anymore.

    My greatest problem is my mom. I was working away from home for 7 years, and ever since college I’ve been away. I came back home to be with my parents just recently knowing that I may not have that much time with them anymore - both of them are in their late 60’s. However, for some reason, my mom and I just can’t get along. This has been happening for 2 years now, on and off. I remember going away before for this reason, it seems to me like she hasn’t changed - and maybe I haven’t changed as well.

    I don’t wanna hold on to the bitterness anymore. And I’ve been successful a lot of time in the past, but the problem is I still live with my parents. And every time my mom and I have a fight, the wound just gets deeper and deeper. It’s becoming harder and harder to bear. Our situation might be something similar to your story about the son who hated his father. I wonder if you would suggest that I should live away from home so as not to expose myself to my mom everyday.

    There is also the problem about work. My mom wants me to take over the family business. But I just can’t stand working with her. She’s even worst than my previous employers.

    Next year, I’ll be 31. And I feel like I’m going nowhere. If I do decide to work abroad or someplace else again, I’m thinking it should be a place where I can settle down and live permanently already. That means I won’t be coming back home anymore.

    I don’t know what to do. Maybe you can email me some advice. I promise to read it no matter how long it will be.
    Thanks in advance.

  33. Dear Bro. Bo, I really felt God’s presence through your article. Like your many readers, I, too is currently in the process of going through severe pain caused by people who wronged me. I have forgiven my enemies even though they have not asked for forgiveness but how come they still come to my life every now and then? You said that we do not have to continue with the relationship, that “Forgiveness isn’t necessarily bringing back the relationship to where it was before”? This is really good to hear because it has worked for me to heal my soul, spirit and pain after forgiving them after all these years. But like I said, they keep on coming back to my life through my then bf who is now my husband, as if they have not wronged me? Obviously, our friendship and closeless was never the same so I do not believe they are not aware that they did something to really hurt me. Their continuous communication or malicious efforts to befriend my husband (except me who were their initial friend) saddens me because they let me feel that I was the one who has a problem in the first place. How do I handle this, Bro. Bo? I really want to heal my soul. Thank you and more power. Thank you for continuosly touching our lives through your articles and teachings all these years

  34. In my experience, Filipinos are a forgiving people. We are very good at Step 2, the “releasing” stage. But many of us struggle in Step 1.

    On one hand, that’s good, otherwise, EDSA 1986 and EDSA 2000 would have been really bloody. On the other hand, we see a lot of people with suppressed emotions around. They don’t allow themselves to get angry, for fear of being “uncool” in the eyes of family and friends.

    But this anger within is like a fire burning them inside slowly but surely.

    I used to be one of them. Anger was eating me inside. It was only when I acknowledged this accumulated anger, really felt it and then–Stage 2–releasing it when I felt peace rushing inside.

    It wasn’t easy. Sometimes it felt like forcing myself to puke.

    But it was worth it.

  35. hi, bro.bo!
    thank you so much for your article “tama at tugmang-tugma po sa akin”. i have a question to you eh, paano po kung yon ang nagbibigay sa iyo ng sugat sa puso ay yong asawa mo at verbal ka niya sinasaktan like the word “wala kang kuwentang asawa or di naman daw ako nakakatulong sa kanya, and in terms of sex life wala na siya gana kasi daw di na daw ako sexy at mataba na daw ako at wala daw ako karisma pagdating sa kama?paano po ang ganon at ano po ang dapat kung gawin?kasi may mga hurt relationship din ako noon na ngayon pa lang ako unti-unti nakakarecovery.PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HELPPPPPP AND PRAY FOR MEEEEEE..Sana po mag reply po kayo sa akin kahit email na lan po ninyo ako privately at c_alcordo2006@yahoo.com
    Thank you so much and more power to your mission and God bless you and your family.

    clarisa at south feast albang

  36. I feel God is really working in me because He allowed me to read your article and my heart is healing… thank you!

  37. yeah its really hard to be bitter all the time..but i made a decision..i forgave the person even though he didn’t ask for it..even though its not really my 100% fault..and even though he continually ignored me..but still i gave my 100% forgiveness and now am free and at peace..

    the first few months that I forgave him I always wonder and expect if he will answer me and will tell me he forgave me too but nothing happens.. mas masakit pala yong nag-aantay ka ng sagot at palagi ka iniignore..

    kaya at that time naiisip ko gaano ba kalaki ang kasalanan ko na di pwedeng e forgive at naisip ko rin ako ba ang nagkasala?..but a priest told me during my retreat it doesn’t matter anymore who did it, what really matters most is that you forgave him, forgave yourself and ask forgiveness from God..

    you know Bo its true…forgiveness doesn’t really necessarily mean that we bring back the relationship to where it was before..

    and its true din hirap pala kahit you forgave na pero yong isang tao ay hindi pa open ng forgiveness..but i realized i could not do with it anymore..sa kanya na yon..as long as in my heart I always forgive…and its a nice feeling..my world becomes brighter again..

    i thank God actually that He gave me the grace to forgive..now whatever happens i don’t keep pain and grudges anymore..it will just kill me..i really hope and pray that I will continue to forgive until the end of my time..

    Thanks Bo for this article. God bless! and I hope and pray people who read this article will be given the grace to forgive also..more power!

  38. hi Bro. Bo,

    How did you know that this article is what I exactly need this time of my life? I know it will be hard to forgive and forget but I know I can make it through reading your inspirational messages..and of course through praying. You are a blessing to us. Mwah!

  39. hi bo;

    married woman when cheated tend to get historical right? it happened 6yrs ago during the time im having a post partum syndrome. after a week of cold war, i forgive him. i tried to be positive, and confident that it’s just a trial in our relationship. last year, i visited him abroad (my husband is working abroad) then i found out in his friendster inbox that there was still a communication between them. the wound that healed 6 years ago was wounded again, and it was now deeper and larger. until now, im recuperating from the pain and gives birth to all sorts of negativity. and i know my husband is now impatient of my bitterness and anger.im praying that i’ll overcome these emotional wounds. thank you for your time….

  40. Hey Bro. Bo!

    Another nice article! Reading your articles after a day’s work provides me with insights that I really need in my life!

  41. i’m a fan and i like your writings. but sometimes, i wish you’d stop using derogatory words like pathetic, you saying you pity people (i get you, but its like you’re being righteous and looking down at their their pain because they’re not over it.) or citing an example and using uncalled for adjectives like sadomasochistic. you always seem to write a lot of derogatory adjectives to prove your point. what leader would do this? reverse psychology wont work. you said it yourself, stop putting labels. you should practice what you preach. joel osteen would never talk the way you do. clearly, you’re not his level.

  42. hi bo,

    i had a good reflection… i guess, i need to go through the stage 1 first… its been 2 months and 1 week, wen i found out that my true love was betraying on me. still fresh…and true!- it really kills me.. i felt that i was a living dead… my heart is breaking literally… good thing i found this site. it will help me a lot. though, im not that so much prayerful, but im trying to work on it. more articles pls, regarding this broken love—broken heart! towards healing… i salute u Bo! my mom has a collection of ur books.

    thanks… more power to you! God bless you!

    heart

  43. Hi Bro Bo,

    Your articles are almost always in time whenever i am in the middle of making a decision. I have been enduring a great pain of being embarrassed in front of the class(way back in high school).(im already 25) yeah i know its been like 10 yrs ago and it keeps on coming back. I’ve tried to forgive but its still hard, although i do agre of what you have mentioned that the bitterness will destroy the person in the long run..With everything that has happened to me and all the blessings i am getting, i will try harder to “FORGIVE and FORGET”

    thanks for another inspiring message today..

    GOD BLESS>>> KAI

  44. Thank you. Perfect timing.

    I was crying the whole day yesterday remembering the pain of a cheating husband. A year after he left me and my son — just like that.

    I have been doing what you’re saying. WANTING to forgive. Saying out loud. Then, time and again, I just get this feeling of wanting to cry. or suddenly remembering the pain.

    And I just cry it all out. Let it all out — all the while, talking to God and saying that I want to rebuild my life and move on.

    I pray and I am asking for you and this entire communtiy to pray for and with me towards healing. I want to forgive my “ex”-husband and the mistress (who happened to be my “ex”-friend too) … I raelly want to forgive.

    Yet time and again, i remember the pain and I feel like I am sliding back down.

  45. Your article is very timely because I need to ponder on an important issue which I want to be resolved as soon as possible. Anyway, I believe in the power of forgiveness. It really soothes one’s soul and I feel it at this moment. Thank you for being a blessing to us. Your honesty and simplicity and humility inspire us to carry our crosses with a joyful heart. May the Lord protect you always including your family.

  46. thats right bo,,,, thanks….. i thought its just right not to get angry and just tolerate and then say I forgive…. thank you very much, this article will help so many people to forgive every bitterness in their life… so inspiring….

  47. praise god yan ang word na nasambit ko whil im reading this article, napaka dame kong experience from childhood hangang sa nag ka asawa, muntik ng ma rape ng kaibigan ng taong minahal mo, kinaliwa ng asawa at nangaliwa din ako, molested by family member, at marame pang iba, im so blessed and thankfull that despite sa mga pangyayarin iyon hinde ako iniiwan ni god, totoo yon una na galit ka ang dame mong tanong hanggang sa dumating sa point na gusto mo mag wala, pero hinde ako iniwan ni god pag katapos akong masugatan akoy parang isang batang ginagamot ng panginoon iminumulak sa akin ang katotohan ng pag papa tawad, ngayon na masasabe ko napa tawad ko na sila at nawa napa tawad din ako ng mga taong aking nagawang ng kasalanan, sa iyo bro bo, marameng salamat sa mga article mo nakaka tulong sa akin pag papa galing na sugat.

    marameng salamat god bless u always.

  48. Bro Bo,

    Thanks for this article, I see things very clearly now. Though our father have left for us another woman, we have learned to forgive him even if he’s not asking for it. We have many things to be thankful for what happened, we have seen the brighter side of it - my mom, sister, and me became very strong and very close . My sister and I became independent, we strive very hard and focused in everything we do because we feel that we need to prove something to him.

    And now being successful, I am very proud of my mom and ourselves that we never dwell on the pain and the hurting, we have moved forward.

    God Bless and more power!

    >>>>jose

  49. True enough, forgiveness is a bittersweet word. Yet if we look at it closely, it is a sweet word in disguise ! If we force ourselves to forgive , it will turn our hurts to work favorably for us and to our souls especially , ” turning our tears into dancing. ” It sets our hearts free ! Yes, free to be happy , being detached from which is earthly that tends to pull us deeper away from holiness.
    God will make our seeming weakness become our strength, a source of joy and peace ! God sees the whole picture . Be pliable to his Will knowing that His Will is guided by His great love for us!
    Forgiveness is a mark of a Christian . Jesus teaches us, ” Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us… ” He has forgiven us everytime we offended Him, why not us ? ” Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, pray for those who calumniate you… you reward is great in Heaven “. says Jesus. He himself has forgiven instantly those who crucified him, ” Father forgive them for they know not what they are doing. ”
    We are blessed being Christians ! Jesus is showing us the way to be happy in the midst of earthly suffering , joy in the spirit , a foretaste of the heavenly Joy that is to come ! Following His teachings that he Himself had lived while on earth, would just make us forgive others easily , even ” seventy times seven. ” Who would not forgive when in doing so, one gains Everlasting Life ?
    BE HAPPY ALL !
    FORGIVE !
    HAVE A VERY GOOD DAY !

  50. bro,

    sana mabasa din ito ng kapatid ko…………….please….

  51. Bo,

    Thanks so much for sharing God’s words & very helpful advises… i’m really looking forward in reading your email everyday it makes my heart & soul at peace. I’m still hurt, bitter, & broken but i’m taking it one step at a time through your inspiring words of wisdom. Continue to inspire, be an instrument & be a blessing to others, Bo! =)

  52. Hi Bro. Bo how are you? please pray for me. Keep up the good work.

  53. Your blog is powerful Bro . . . I’ve been hurt and there’s a bitterness that lingers on. . .Thanks for the message of forgiveness . . .and looking forward of healing that I may welcome the new of hope and renewed strenght.

  54. It is so true. I could say it because I was in that situation until I forgiven someone and truly it was blessing for me and now I could say I truly moved on in my life Thank you so much, God Bless

  55. Dear Bo,

    Thank you so much for the very inspiring message.

    We all have hurts in our heart at one time in our life. It is a part of this cycle and no one can be spared but if we have nurtured love in our hearts, forgiveness will also be a part of this never ending cycle.

    More power to you bro. God bless.

    Nelia

  56. Yes, I hope to be clean from any kinds of hurtings, wounds. Forgiveness is really good way to get rid of this problem. I always encourages myself to love and to forgive. Thanks bro for your posting.

  57. hi bo,

    thank you for this very inspiring message. It really eases my pain. my bf for almost 13 years betrayed me not just once but twice….and sad to say…I’m still hoping we could still be together although I broke up with him already…..pls keep on sending inspiring messages. It really helps.

    More power and God bless!!!

    jackie

  58. Hi Bo,

    Thank you for this article. I’ve been reading bits and pieces of the things you wrote but this one struck me the most. You see, I’ve been hurt several times in my life. I don’t know why but it seems that pain is a constant companion. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining, but I’ve been through a lot that sometimes I’m amazed at my ability to keep standing. I admit though that what I am now, I partly owe to those experiences and to the love and support I get from people who have been there for me.

    What you said sounds so easy to do and I know I’ve done that but sometimes I still feel the hurt like it’s still fresh. I’ve forgiven but I haven’t forgotten and that’s something I struggle with. Wouldn’t it be perfect if we can just totally erase bad memories and continue living with a clean slate? That’s my wish sometimes. My husband has cheated on me twice but I chose to forgive him and stay in with him because I love him. He’s promised he will change and I see that he has but he knows I haven’t forgotten. Now, after more than 5 years of marriage I’m finally pregnant and while I am so happy for the blessings (i’m expecting twins!) coming my way, reading this brought those hurtful memories back again. I don’t want to live in the past for my childrens sake but I can’t seem to forget totally. I know it takes time but I sincerely hope that now the forgetting time comes faster.

    Thank you again and I wish you more power.

  59. HI, Brother Bo…
    This article really get into me…
    As they refer ‘Sapul” sakin ito…
    I am full of anger inside…
    I want to be healed… i pray for acceptance na…
    thank you. May God bless us and heal us all…

  60. And as long as there is a pain, hurt and bitterness in our hearts the holy spirit can’t penetrate deep in our hearts and our life.

    Thanks bro. bo. May God bless you more.

  61. AGREE. Forgiveness is a gift I gave to myself 7 years ago when I forgave the man who molested me as a kid. He is a close relative and we live in the same house.. before there was a lot of fear in my heart.

    But when I forgave… I feel unbelievably light and relieved. carrying the resentment so long is tiring, and when i stopped carrying it… ang gaan talaga.

    I attest to forgiveness as one of the most amazing gifts you can give yourself.

  62. dear kuya bo,
    napakahirap magpatawad lalo na kung ang gumawa sa iyo ng kasalanan ay ang taong minahal mo at pinagkatiwalaan.
    matagal bago ko ito nagawa it tooks me 2 long years pero
    dahil mahal ako ng DIYOS unti unti nagawa ko ito una practice lang until dumating ang tamang panahon nagawa ko rin.
    now i remember the boy but i dont remember the feelings anymore.

    GOD BLESS YOU KUYA AND MORE POWER TO YOU

  63. Bro. Bo is right. We need to forgive and start to heal. I too was a victim of sexual abuse. I was abused by my own father. sometimes I still feel uneasy being around him but he’s still my father. I still feel that need to be loved and protected by him…. even if he already harmed me. I moved out of the house and have been living with relatives for 5 years now. I only see him thrice a year at most. And you know what? The distance helps a lot. I love him as my father but I know that what he did to me was wrong. Sure he keeps me safe from the outside world but I don’t think he can keep me safe from himself… not just yet. Until then, I can just pray for him and my family to be healed.

  64. i’m still in deep pain right now kuya bo. i have so many insecurities in life. the only thing that can ease my pain is that i cried it out and offer it to God. i know its too hard to leave the pain because my hurts eating me up……. please pray for my healing kuya bo. i admit i am a PESSIMISTIC person. but still i find your article as my healing process. thank you kuya bo. you really are the instrument of God. i am a fan of yours. everytime i listen to your preaching i feel that God is there empowering me and lifting me up. thank you so much kuya bo and especially to our GOD. God bless you kuya bo.

  65. Bro.Bo
    Thank so much to God! It strike me again, It hit me again.. God really work in a mysterious way.. Before i reported here in the office while im on a washroom i talk to God and saying sorry for what ive done.. I know that im so bitter with people who hurt me, who bring pain in me..and i always think of negative judgement with them..where i almost ignore those good things they have…I really want to.. to forgive them and set my self free of anger and bitterness.. Yes its right we need to free ourselves, we dont need to punish our self just being angry.. Bro.Bo Pls pray for me… pls… I believe that every word you write here it bring a wisdom and light for us… Pls pray for me , Pray for my husband ERIC John to heal us,to heal this marriage,to bring back by God our trust and Love for each other. Pray for my whole family to deliver us in all pain and to bring back their trust to my husband..Thy Holy Spirit fill our home of Love and peace..Thank you again Bro.Bo for such a wonderful article.. God continue to fill your heart of wisdom and use you to spread his powerful message to us..

  66. Bro. Bo…I’ve been bitter for several years…i read this inspiring story of yours…until now po..im still trying very hard not to be bitter with the people surrounding me and sa mga struggles na dumadating sakin. I want to be healed from this bitterness, kasi ang pakiramdam ko, im carrying a loaded baggage in my back. I feel so miserable. Sana through this inspiring story of yours matutunan ko mag-patawad at mawala ang bitterness ko in life.

  67. Bro. Bo..

    Siyang tunay nga po na pag ikay buong pusong nagpatawad at pinaubaya mo na kay Lord ang lahat napakagaan ng pakiramdam at laht ng Blessing ibabalik sayo ng mabilis. Naranasan ko poyan kaya alam ko po na mas mabuti ang magpatawad

  68. I read about this “Forgiveness thing” I feel like you’re talking to me directly….but feels good because you hit me right there…I tend to be stupid and hard headed at times and I need that snap on Forgiveness. You’re blunt but its the truth and it helps me…I am a betrayed wife again and again…hubby is not capable of faithfulness and his act is a terminal cancer I guess and there’s not much I can do until he decides to straighten his life.

  69. hi Bro. Bo, really inspiring…thanks for your articles which truly blesses us….

  70. Thanks for sharing bro Bo…truly inspiring..God Bless.

  71. Dear Brother Bo,

    “Your Past Does Not Define Your Future”

    I bought this book of yours a few years ago to help me heal myself.

    I remembered it just now while registering with your blog.

    I want to help my husband be healed. I don’t know how he can forgive me yet because he’s hurting right now. But I want to change, move on, and be with him.

    What do I do when I’m THE OFFENDER and want to help him be healed?

  72. thanks Bro. Bo for always inspiring me with stories like this.

    God bless you!

  73. Been there, done it twice for the same husband who married me three times and yet cannot quit womanizing having liasons with women of ill-repute and sires so many children with them though he has one with me. I’ve forgiven but i will not forget not because i don’t want to but because i can’t and when you’re betrayed and the gap is that wide and since i’m not sadomasochistic it’s enough to be civil so our child will not carry unnecessary baggages. Truly God blesses people who are inaapi being bitter will not help being wiser will, being stuck in an abyss sucks but being free and in the light will always be the right path. Thanks your article is up there 5******

  74. Hey Brother Bo!
    Thanks for this article. It made me realized on how to forgive others as well as myself.

  75. hello Bo!

    wow! another superb article from you then..
    Thank u so much for sharing ur wisdom and knowledge to us..I am so grateful of ur never ending articles Bo..And its inspires me a lot..how I wish i can meet u in person but I know thats impossible cause how hectic ur sched and how busy u are..
    But I hope someday we will meet and do chatting even in one hour..hehehe

    keep up always the good work!
    God bless!

  76. aawwwwwwwww.. This brought me to tears..

  77. dear bo,
    napakaganda ng sinulat mong ito. damang-dama ko ang bawat katagang binigkas mo dito.
    maraming salamat.

  78. The last part made me teary eyed… When you do not forgive, you hurt yourself more….

  79. Thanks for a very touching story. I like it………. God bless

  80. Bo, i really don’t know what’s in you…. as if you know me well because every article you write…. it simply touches me and as if the article is meant for me….
    I guess people has same dilemna only in different levels…. thank you for continuous writing inspirational articles…. long live bo!!!

  81. I’ve been reading your blog entries ever since I can remember, but this one, hands down, is the one I enjoyed the most. I don’t recall laughing and absorbing everything this much. Thanks Bo! You are truly a blessing. :-)

  82. wow! this is wonderful Bo.. forgiving is one of my weakness especially if the person is hurting you over and over again.

    Thanks Bo, May God be praised!

  83. Dear Bo,

    Please keep sending inspiring messages…thanks a lot.
    God Bless Us…

  84. Hi bro bo!

    i agree to everything that u have said…human as we are, it is really hard to forgive but God give us the grace to forgive (if only we will yield to HIS spirit).

    i’ve been betrayed and the wound is still fresh but i chose to forgive: first to free myself of the burden and misery; 2nd as a sign that i have accepted everything as God’s will; 3rd since i loved the person and want him to be happy (tho the means does not justify the ends!) i must release him so…forgiveness indeed is a decision. kahit nasense mo na di naman sincere yung pag ask ng patawad, dapat ibigay mo pa rin yung kapatawaran. Healing comes afterward….

    More power Bro. Bo! and to all, let’s enjoy God’s unfailing love!

  85. Bro,
    thanks for the article it lightens me up.
    yeah, you’re right that we must forgive those who have wronged us. after reading your article, it gives me a real reason to get over what i have right now.
    THANK GOD for using you. Godbless..

  86. I completely agree! The only escape is forgiveness.

    I have also just been betrayed and left by the person I loved the most for almost half of my life. I felt as if I had died. But I had to understand him. We need to understand the person or people who hurt us. They need compassion rather than condemnation. We can see the person is more broken than we are, more unloved than us. The people who hurt us are hurting too. Everything that they have done to us, they have already done to themselves. Their judgement will come from God, not from us.

    Forgiving him was the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life, but it was also the most freeing and satisfying feeling in the world, I believe I am worth whatever it takes to rise above the pain and hurt. There is power in forgiveness.

    Thanks for the article, bo.

  87. great words i know ican cope with what GOD wants me to do..forgive and move on..be a good CHRISTIAN, thanks bro. BO, you are such an instrument from heaven tnx tnx

  88. hey Bro. Bo!
    I really love reading your articles. it inspires me and I know lots of people were also inspired by you. From what I’ve read I’ve learned that to forgive is a very important part of our lives…

    Thanks and more power to you… God bless…

  89. thanks bro. Bo! This article is an eye opener. i was once on stage 1 for 5 years, i was offended sexually by a very dear friend of the family who happened to be my godfather. but you know what, i got tired hating the world , hating everyone and hating at my self… and i prayed hard for my godfather and decided to forgive him… and i cried it all out… its not very easy to do but it felt good, i didn’t realize i was hurting myself in the process of getting even and taking out my anger on other people and other things… now, i feel very light.. its good to remember the things that have happened but not feeling the hurt anymore… most of all, its good to be happy again…

  90. thank you bo!

  91. Hi Bro Bo,
    I guess most people accept the fact that men are polygamouos by nature hence wives find it easier to forgive
    a philandering husband. Not to come across as a male chauvinist (tama ba speeling?) but the hurt is unfathomable when the only woman you love faithfully for almost 24 years suddenly dumps you for her exbf who left and almost ruin her life 26 years ago specially when you just lost your job. Though I want to forgive her, it is so hard since she continues to be so arrogant and unrepentant. She spoils our kids to make-up for her screwing up their future and surely she knows that doing so makes them materialistic, irresponsible and selfish plus to dependent on her so that maybe thinking they will never leave her side just like what her mom did to her siblings. Appreciate any comments from female readers on what I should do if she
    continues her adulterous relationship. I decided to leave our home as it is too painfull to stay in the same house with her though I visit my kids regularly and sleep over in my boys room once a week and tutors my daughter and guides my 2nd son…both of whom had their grades at all time low. Struggling to forgive and move on…

  92. Thank for this Grossylicious Blog…..

    Gpd Bless….

  93. hi Bo,
    I am also a claretian student. i hope we will see each other on Novemeber 28 - 29. i have also realize to be hurt by emotionally especially in the class. i have a question to you. How God loves all his creatureds but me i can’t love my parents and brother!!!
    I hope we would see each other and i hope i can bought the patron part. Does my 500 good for 2 days?

  94. It is really nice feeling forgiving the person who had done me wrong, speciallly a family member. It still nice feeling not going back to that relationship as before, because it made me a better person, free from anger, hatred. Time will heal everything and time will surely make one realize the wrong done. I may have said wrong words but I am sure it was right expression of what is good thing to say and what bad thing one person had done and said. And God never wants us to live a life full of unforgiveness. Because He Himslef forgives. The greatest LOve of all is learning to love oneself so that one can love others, freely. TO LIVE IS TO LOVE GOD ABOVE ALL!

  95. i am sitting on the rewind button! and so I’m not just reopening the wound but keeping it fresh everyday..and its pulling me down.
    forgiving is really the key..i want to ask forgiveness from the person i wronged and i want to tell him that i forgive him too. but how? should i wait till I’m ready? is there a right or wrong time for forgiveness? help me pray Bro. Bo, help me move up and stop sitting on the rewind button.
    God bless you and for these avenues of reaching people and opening our lives to God’s graces.

  96. really timing… i just cried because i couldn’t forgive someone who have taken me for granted. it’s been weeks now, and it really made me not so okey. i became so unproductive, ill-tempered, and very unhappy.
    thanks bo, you opened my mind. maybe it will still take me some time, but surely i am now in the right direction… healing myself with God beside me.

  97. It bring a feeling of happiness and light heartedness to both the giver and the receiver. Thanks again Bro Bo for your another very enlightening article.

  98. for almost 5 years of loving him i found out that he betrayed me….thanks for the wonderful message you have shared with us bo it touches my soul….you are right it doesnt mean if you forgive someone you will come back to him…i forgive him and i leave my pain to God to heal me……

  99. I’ve read also that there are five steps (or stages) in healing emotional wounds (from the book “Don’t Forgive Too Soon” by Dennis Linn, Shiela Fabricant-Linn, and Matthew Linn): Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression & Acceptance. We just get stuck in any one of these stages without us realizing it.

    But still, the essence is to forgive. I guess the book also answers how to deal with people after forgiveness. I guess the book, too, says a lot about GENUINE FORGIVENESS.

    I know, Bro. Bo, that you’re still concentrating on how to build reationships in these past few series of your blogs. I hope one day you could share a piece of your God-given talent and impart to us about genuine forgiveness, Filipino style because just like what Marvin, on November 9th, 2009 at 7:51 pm said many of us are so stucked with our anger, even getting them so emotionally suppressed, that we tend to linger longer, remaining in your Step 1 or the Linn’s Stage 2. We need some light shed regarding this act of GENUINE FORGIVENESS. Is the famous phrase/tite of a song “Forgive and Forget” a myth now? As far as I could deduce from your blog and that of the Linn’s book, it seems already is.

    God bless us always and may we continue to forgive as well as be forgiven from everything that needs forgiving.

  100. thanks bo..this really helps..i felt bitterness for a long time..due to a recent broken relationship..and because of my father’s wrong doings..thanks bo..im enlightened..

  101. I don’t really have a problem of giving forgiveness to people who do me wrong. I get hurt, I get mad, I forgive (it might take a while though).

    What bothers me is how to forgive myself? I am the one who causes the pain. I knew what I was doing was wrong. I corrected my actions before it was too late. My action still causes pain and trouble for the people involve and I can’t forgive myself for what I have done. Never in my life thought that I am capable of doing such a thing :’(

    I just keep praying that our Lord will give me strength to over come what I am going through right now.

  102. Amen and Amen! I’m with you on this to the dot, Bro Bo! I feel like you’re my twin brother. ha ha ha ha! To forgive is painful but it is more painful to hang on with the resentment, anger, hatred, etc. Thank God for the freedom and blessings from it!

    God bless your toenail forever! Thanks again!

    Very blessed as always,
    Em

  103. HI Bro. Bo,

    Thank you very much for this very inspiring article…now i know how to forgive others and also myself.

  104. Hi! Bro. Bo,

    Thank you for posting this article. I dont know how many times I’ve been (and still up to now) a victim of these emotional wounds and extending forgiveness to those who have hurt me is one great challenge. Though such has been given as the Lord commands us to immediately do, I strongly believe that thru God’s help, in constantly praying and asking for healing, these wounds of mine will be healed. May He give you strength in continuously spreading His words. God bless you!

  105. haha! of all what is written, i still can’t take off my mind the bloody operation of the ingrown nail. shocks! i can’t seem to stand it. a rather effective metaphor i think, hehe :D

  106. Thank you Bo, for your stories. Simple, yet so inspiring. I know God is not giving up on me.

    Be blessed and continue the good work.

  107. Dear Bo,

    Kudos to another inspiring article — I feel so blessed with it.

    May God bless you and the world with more of you!

    Maraming salamat.

  108. Dear Bo,

    Your article is very timely to me.

    I was terminated in my job last Thursday, Nov. 5, without apparent reason. What i know is that my manager (who is indian) is being jealous of me because i know so many lines of insurance. She only knew one.

    After i learned that i’m about to axed, i already forgive them. i did not wasted my time grieving. I immediately started posting my CVs with other company.

    And you know what? God is good. I got another job and about to start in a new and big insurance broker here in Dubai any time soon.

    I really think that GOD is really talking to me through you.

    Thanks Bo.

  109. i was stunned when i saw this article..sabi ko sa sarili ko”parang pinapatamaan ako ni kuya bo”..
    Indeed, ang hirap magforgive sa taong pinagkatiwalaan mo ng pagmamahal mo.I lost a boyfriend and in the same time my bestfriend.Sabihin na lng natin na it was betrayal.
    Pro natutunan ko na silang patawarin sa puso ko pro d ako redi makipag usap sa knila sa personal.
    It was the time na bumalik loob ako sa panginoon.He is the only one who give me the peace and the unconditional love.

  110. Hi Bro!

    Your message is so timely. I know God has his own purpose why this message reached my troubled soul. Your articles are like counseling to me and they touched me deep within. I hope I could start my healing after I read this article. Thanks and more power.

    To God be the glory!

  111. Thank you very much Bro. Bo for this another inspiring article. I can definitely relate to this with my own experience. I have been ‘rewinding’ my own emotional wounds, but knowing that it won’t do me any good, I’d rather stop it and just move forward, bringing forgiveness in my heart. Thanks again! God bless!

  112. hope someday future science could create a pill designed to forgive people, medication to treat emotional wounds, supplements to strengthen emotional well being and a type of gym, training and exercises designed specifically to strengthen emotions.

    so if you discovered by accident that your wife, husband or relationship partner have just been cheating and betraying you for many years, instead of raging in anger and pain, you instantly take that ‘forgiveness’ pill and move on with your life. if emotional pain still persist you consult a doctor so sufficient emotional medication will be undertaken to treat your emotional wounds. after you are being treated you take emotional food supplements for maintenance and have yourself enrolled to a type of gym where you can specifically train and strengthen your emotions. this type of gym and training could also be beneficial to your own children to make them emotionally healthy, strong, well prepared and protected as they grow up.

    this is just a product of my imagination as i was reflecting on the subject of forgiveness and struggling to free myself from my own emotional pain and burden. emotions always ruled us physically and even intellectually. i could deadlift a 200 pound barbell and run a 21 kilometer stretch but i could hardly lift myself up when those unpleasant experience and memories will set in to my mind. no amount of logic and moral reasoning i could find could calm down my mind. my years of academic studies are rendered useless to my emotional pain. my years in religious and spiritual studies, teachings and learning are all shaken. silly and ironic. that’s why the need to invent and create things on how to make ourselves emotionally fit, healthy and well protected.

  113. Sir Bo,

    Perfect!

    Amazing grace from GOD!
    Forgiveness.
    I have been doing this even to those who really hate me and i prayed for them a lot.
    Guess what? I am wonderfully blessed and showered with abundant gifts.
    Forgiveness is the way, i have tried and it really works.

    God bless you more!

  114. Today, I am HB (heartbroken)…

    I really

  115. I am really happy and so thankful of you BO! very much!!

    thanks! you have given me advices and that advices are different from my friends’ advices… sobra! as in super thank you!

    God bless!

  116. Dear Bo,

    Thanks for that another inspiring article.

    Forgiveness is such a difficult thing to do. I’m going through that phase right now. Thanks for the help. God bless!

  117. Bro. Bo,

    hi, thank you again for the inspiring message..Its true all your message touched in my heart. Because like what you said its like an ingrown toenail that hurts from head to foot. I released my anger now to all the persons that hurts me so much, but the pain will not last because the wound is fresh and it will be heal soon. But i forgave them what they did it to me…as of now i can move on and live more peaceful and happy..I can live without them because there are nothing to me. And i realized that God makes them an instrument to make me feel more stronger and away from there lifestyle. And i thank God to protect me not to be closer from those people who will destroy my life and my family…Now, i realized how God love me so much because He dont want me destroy and be a better person…Thanks Bo, for the sharing your message and God bless you always. I love also your God whisper to me every twice a week. I really amazed of God who has a good message for me every week…Thanks again…

  118. Dear Bo,

    You have tapped into a fountain of truth.

    Thank you for sharing with us.

    God Bess!

  119. Bo,

    Thank you so much!

    This is very true and very relevant to me and my family at present.

    Thank you for being God’s blessing for us

    P.S.
    Thank you also for signing the “Holy Rosary” audio CD I bought during last Saturday’s Truly Rich seminar. I’m His. = )

  120. helo..

    i like the mesage of this food for soul..

    i hop i cud get another one…

    beautiful!

    Godbless u

  121. Igsoon Bo,

    Thanks for the very nice article re: forgiveness, for many years i dont have a clear understanding of what forgiveness really means. With your article it helps me understand how to forvgive genuinely

    maraming salamat uli

  122. good day to you bro. bo!
    theonly thing that i can say isthat… your article itself is already a big miracle! because it helps us people to understand the real value of forgiveness =)

    Godbless us all

  123. Sir Bo,

    I heard you speak before( Tribute to Teacher at Araneta Coliseum) Your lesson are really God sent and inspiring… it really makes me free… I always thank God for sending you… many lives will be blesses because of your life…
    Thanks po…

  124. Dear Bro. Bo,

    Thank you so much for your inspiring article!

    I was so touched and I cried. I am suffering so much pain,anger and bitterness in my life at this very moment. Mahirap talagang tanggapin,at sobrang mahirap magpatawad lalo na pag ang taong minamahal mo ang nagkasala sayo. Its true,because of love you need to forgive kahit masakit kailangan alang-ala sa aming nag-iisang anak.

    I thank God,Bro Bo! for being an instrument.

    Godbless.

  125. hi bro bo!

    thanks for the articles! pls continue inspiring other people just as you did to me. you’re really my idol!!!!

  126. I agree both to Oliver Cabrera and Jing.

    Jing wishes that there would be a medical or science thing to cure the emotional pain. I also wish that there would something that can heal us like that, but in reality only love and time can heal it.

    There is also a process to undergo when forgiving someone. Sometimes because it is too painful, you tried to deny it. It will help gradualy reduce the pain but the wound is still there.

    Life hurts is inevitable, you need all the help you can get to surpass the trials. Understanding, acceptance, reaching out to people, focus on your dreams not the wound of the past, letting go. After that process then that’s the only time you can forgive and move on.

    Thanks bo, for sharing…I for one is still struggling to forgive people who have betrayed my trust. For a time my world has become so dark, with anger and bitterness…apart from what i mentioned, God has become my companion…He helped me alot.

  127. im in the computer shop ryt now, but still.. i cant help myself to cry reading bo’s article, i have a boyfriend for more than five years but he betrayed me because of other woman. i almost had a nervous breakdown.. thanks GOD coz He kips on giving me those people around me who never gets tired of listening to what im saying, its been five months and with the healing power of God slowly, i am learning to forgive him and leave everything to God.. i am giving my whole trust to God and continously giving him thanks because He is giving enough strenght and courage to fight, He never left me.. and i know, God has forgiven me for all the mistakes ive done before in the past by making me feel loved and continously healing the pain in my heart..

  128. hello bro.Bo

    thanks a lot for this eye opener article……nkka relate tlaga ako in everything you’ve said in this article…just recently i have decided to forgive my offender. i’ve got the courage to talk to a person who hurt me so much and i told her i have forgiven already myself for feeling so hurt and i have forgiven her for hurting me…. it feel so great!!! I’ve felt the grace of forgiveness flowing through my veins. Never the less i have one question bo. Bo and I hope you would answer this question. What then happens to the trust that had been broken by the offender?,is it still possible to have trust to the person who in the first place have destroyed it? I wish to receive an answer from you bo. Bo…thanks a lot for this article.

    God Bless in your ministry!!!

  129. I was crying while reading this article for I’ve been suffering from the bitterness of being terminated from the previous call center i worked. I acknowledged my fault however the fine amount is too expensive to take care of that really drives me crazy. So i kept on cursing the company and my supervisor because they didn;t keep a promise that i had nothing to pay off..a month after, i was advised to phone the payroll dept to confirm my pay check, the lady informed me the fine i need to settle due to infraction i did..i was so furious that time..and became so depressed for two months..wondering how to pay since i was jobless. I prayed to GOD to bless me a job so i can finally settle my obligation with the previous company and learn to forgive them. but i found out it’s been hard to forgive for it was totally unfair…

    last month, GOD blessed me to have a job from another call center which is better and pro-employee oriented company..so m very happy. But m still asking for a sign if there’s a need to go back to the previous company
    and pay the fine because what made me so hesitant to go back was my fear of imprisonment and the fury which i still have up to now..

    when i read this article, this makes me decided to go settle the issue i had from the previous company for peaceful mind and learn to forgive my supervisor and myself as well….

    Brother Bo, please pray for my sincere forgiveness which we all know, this is the only way to set us free…thanks!!!!!

  130. Dear Brod. Bo,

    Thank you so much for this very inspirational message.

    You’re a heaven’s sent! God bless!

  131. Hello Brother Bo,

    Honestly, my first reaction to your article was “Euw.” (with matching facial expression.) But having survived your ingrown story, I’m thankful I read through it all. I’ll keep your article in mind when I will finally meet that person who hurt me. (sans ingrown and pus imagery. Hahaha.) Even now I find it hard to even just ‘decide’ to forgive that person. But I’ll try.

    Thank you and God bless. ^_^

  132. hi bo,
    thank you to all article you keep sending i really enjoyed reading and full of lesson not only for me but to my family. i keep praying that God always guide you in writing books.

  133. hi bo

    you’re just an amazing innovative writer, you’re one of my favorite. you can turn a decaying ingrown toenail to an spiritually growing forgiver lol — and from a tiny business to corporate giant if someone may be able to know how to use the time creatively.

    the Universe is giving you more wisdom and insights.
    may the Force be with you. Godbless.

  134. Hello Bo! This article is really good…. Its all TRUE… I’ve been through it. Maybe this letter won’t msg won’t matter to you anymore since you’re so full of stories all over the world from your follower but I’ll still post this anyway.

    I was also a victim of this unforgiving heart…. forgiving others and forgiving oneself is really a tedious process (for me). There are also times that you thought you already forgave people who hurt you but its as if I’m climbing the stairs up and down. 5 steps forward 2 steps backward. But I’m happy to announce that finally I’ve reach the top. It may not so good for others to hear but thats my reality just don’t wanna be hipocrite. It is indeed so hard to forgive others but it is much harder to forgive oneself.

  135. Hi, Bo. Nice article there! Suits me perfectly. My mood has been falling down since last week. I feel so sad and depressed, I may cry anytime. I have a question for you, Bo. How can someone forgive himself? Like if he’s the one responsible for all the bad things that are bothering him now. How does he forgive someone who wronged him if that someone is himself?

  136. very inspiring article!!!
    just like the others, i have issues also regarding forgiveness.i am still hurting with my past wounds, not because they hurt me, but because i am the one who hurt the people who loved me dearly. because of the hurtings i felt, i have involved with things that i totally regret,. i thought forgiving people who have hurt me(or should i say people who i’ve hurt too) should release me from pain, just then i realized that i should forgive myself first so i can move on. until now, i am still a work in progress, i can’t say that i am totally healed because i can still feel the pain and emptiness inside. Bro. Bo, i hope u can help praying for me and for all the people who are still mending their emotional wounds. thank you and continue inspiring people!

  137. Thanks for that power words of God. It touch my heart and teach me the important of forgiveness//

  138. Thanks Bo!

    I’ve been in relationship for 8 years, he was my boyfriend in college until we graduate. Somehow we build our dreams & plan together for the future, but suddenly those plans collapsed by the reason of third party. Both our family are shock of what happened for all they know we are planning to settle down. When my boyfriend trying to explain to me that “ako ang nasa puso nya but iba ang nasa isip nya”, I immediately give up and I didn’t wait any second word cause I know partly I’m melting like candle. So he rather chose the new one than the 8 years relationship we had. At first it’s really hard to forgive him and I told to my self he already dead because of the pain and I wasn’t able to prepare that it would be happen to us. Likewise, it takes time to move on, until I had a chance to work abroad and I grabbed that opportunity at least to ease the pain and I looking forward for my future. Presently it’s been 2 years suddenly comes to my mouth that I forgive him. I guest time will heal the wound by the help of God.
    The only thought I could share is don’t force to forgive the people who wounded you just for the sake of forgiveness, All we have to do is to wait for the right time and it takes time but I know that time will come. Now I’m totally moved on and happy with my present boyfriend. It’s worth waiting for.

    Cheer up!

  139. hi sir!

    this is really indeed a very inspiring article…

    however, there’s something bothering me…. i can easily forgive people who have hurt me, but i am having a hard time forgetting what they did to me…

  140. hi bo,

    thank you for always finding the words to inspire people like me eventhough we do not personally know each other.

    i have been and still is a great fan of yours and all the wonderful articles that you wrote and spoke about. i guess you have a way of hitting me bulls eye with your inspiring words in every trials or joyful moments that i am going through. i thank God for people like you.

    Never grow weary of writing great articles ,for you are an instrument of healing. You are indeed right when you said that forgiveness is a decision, and that i should never allow myself to be forever living in stage 1: ANGER!

    i now know that after the pain, i can always live my life to the fullest and be happy again! thank you and God bless

  141. Bro. Bo,
    Your messages and teachings really inspire my soul and always give me the reasons to live with hope… Not just once but so many times I almost died spiritually..but the moment I imagine your face smiling full of God`s grace when you talk and touching everyone`s life…I get back!
    I thank God for sending you to us and making you an instrument for salvation of the lost and dying souls. aygod bless you always and your family

  142. so easy to say,but so difficult to do,bro bo!! how could I forgive them if their hurting me all over again? every time na sinasaktan nila ako,,I chose to ignore…I’m asking God why did He let me to be with these people,,they are bringing the worst out of me..hirap na hirap na ako,,but I dont have a choice but to work with them..I need money for my family and para sa hinuhulugan kong bahay….I always chose to forget everything happened,,gusto kong tingnan ang bawat araw as a new day for me to start anew.Unfortunately,,kahit anong gawin ko palagi pa din nila akong nasasaktan.I know choosing God’s way is never been easy,I wish you could pray for me for more patience and understanding of everything happening to me..I know right now,,I would never understand His purpose,,but in due time everything will be clear..please pray for me,,thanks.

  143. whew! what an article! BULLS EYE! tnx bo.but in my case, i am the one who is asking for forgiveness.hope my friend beng was able to read this since he is also a huge fan of you.i would like to take this opportunity and to use this space to ask beng and her husband/s forgiveness. ….. Beng, Yzer from the bottom of my heart, im very sorry to both of you . pls . forgive me for all the errors i made. someday , somehow i can repay you for all ive done. i know my obligations, and will never forget that. just give me enough time to settle everything. beng, please always include me in your prayers. i love you and i missed you so much.

    Tnx so much bo, this is a big help for me.mabuhay ka bo!

  144. Good day Bo,
    tnx to that food for the soul. It really helps me a lot on my problem.., May you continue to be a blessing to others.

  145. […] through the words of Bo Sanchez, my brother’s favorite writer. In his blog, he wrote about The Only Thing That Can Heal Your Emotional Wounds and I’d like to quote something that really struck my core. He wrote: But when a person […]

  146. hi bro.! it’s nice reading your article.. keep sharing them ’cause it’s so nice..
    i’ve got a lot of works since i’m a nursing student. but i just dropped myself here on your article since i really have to read this topic.
    yesterday, we we’re having our lecture. but, suddenly our teacher changed the topic into something dirty.. and then, he read our palms and started guessing of who we are.. then, t’was my turn that he looked at my palm, and said something that really upset or insult me. most of the class were laughing. but, me, i just stay silent ’cause for me that was a bad joke. that thing he said to me was a “prejudice”. if i’ll gonna be a lawyer, i’ll refer him of having “slandering” me. i was not the only who felt prejudiced, but also some of my classmates.. and then, when i went home, i listened for christian songs just to relieve my ache (i wanted to get heal, that’s it), and then, i slept.. when i woke up at midnight, there’s a spirit that told me to pray the holy rosary. so i prayed. and, my ache was bit healed.
    a while ago, i saw my teacher, and then, he begged sorry for what had happened yesterday, and i said “it’s okay…”
    thank you so much bro. bo for sending this article to me. it meant a lot. i’m healed. though i forgiven him, but thre’s still the memory of the hurt and prejudice (’cause there’s a saying that says: forgiven not forgotten)…

    God bless!

  147. Sir Bo,

    your message is so meaningful for me at this point of time. honestly? i’m not reading all your messages and sometimes i get to a point that after reading the headings or your subject i right away delete it. but i now realized i missed a lot. this segment is really true. i have a friend who is married and her age is doubled up with mine. so as we go along i treated her and family as my family too. but as we along, i thought her husband is okay and wants me to be a part of their family but it’s not. and i get shocked when he say that me and her wife having an affair. from that moment Sir Bo I cant forgive him..Because I treated him as my father. and i know from the start what are my boundaries.What best thing to do???

  148. Very nice! So touching! I had forgiven him…a long time ago… :)

  149. Naiyak! ako sa article mo Bo! your’e right dapat talaga marunong magpatawa! may ugali talga akong tatahimik lang pag may kaaway o may ngda.down sakin! kasi auko ng connection sa taong gumwa sa akin ng mali! but After I read your article! Tama ka! I pray to God to those people who hurt me! I really hate confrontation that’s a big problem to myself!
    anyways! tahnk you bo! God bless You always!

  150. haha! this is a funny experience… i always get excited on bo’s blogs… i religiously follow the entries here. but this one, i thought i would not finish reading anymore. i started reading this two weeks ago. but i never finished it until now… everytime i read it, all i could just imagine is the ingrown nail, hahaha! at last i finally got the guts to finish it and just have a blind eye on the first few parts…. but perhaps bitterness is really that tough reality, the same way as an ingrown does hurt.

  151. I cried after reading this… Knowing that Jesus was behind the two photos

  152. Amen! kuya Bo… Godblessed us!:D

  153. it was a very nice article, thanks a lot.

  154. […] problems arising from couples because I don’t think this is applicable for severe cases (deeper wounds in relationship). Some tips to work on your marriage before its too […]

  155. what a poweful message brother bo… thank you.. u have reached and touch my soul.

    GLORY TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST !!!

    benedict

  156. that’s really nice. it encourages me to really forgive whole heatedly.

    however, what will you do if you feel its not really the time to let things go, to just hang on to the relationship more and work things out? i learned how to forgive everyday of hurting the moment i wake up. I’m trying to work things out with my broken relationship, convincing my partner to work with me. It’s just hard to accept when i did not do anything and yet I’m still the one fixing the mess. but do you think God meant to give me the strength to still push through to fixing it? because i still do have the fighting spirit..

    i hope all of you can pray for me to still have the strength to mend this relationship.

  157. Dear Bo,
    I have been badmouthed by my friends to my boss who is also their friend. I felt so betrayed because these are my friends (or so I thought). How did i find out? I have been feeling strange lately as my friends are acting weird. As an example, they will stop talking the minute I step into the room. So when my boss sent me a very disturbing text about me that a lot of people told him how i changed (i got swell-headed, i’ve been throiwng my weight around, etc.), my suspicions proved me right. My so-called friends have been badmouthing me. I have discussed this with my boss and I told him I felt so betrayed. I intend to talk to them but I still have to find the time as we don’t belong to the same office anymore.
    Now tell me Bo, I can forgive them but will not forget what they’ve done to me. These are my so-called friends who were since way, way back. Back before when I was single, became a mother and now a widow.
    I intend to talk to them and let them know how i fet. BETRAYED and HURT.
    All the best,
    Imay

  158. thank you bro. bo!
    and may God heal us all from this bad situation.

  159. […] Story: Bo Sanchez Filed under: Bo Sanchez, Soul Food | Tags: Bo Sanchez, food, soul You can follow any responses to […]

  160. True, I was in an abusive relationship for 2 1/2 years in which he managed to squander my assets, destroy my career and degrade me to everybody who knew me. That was 4 years ago. I did all the necessary meditation, study and analysis. I asked the Holy Spirit to help me forgive. I did. Now I am happy. I attended the Kerygma Conference and I am excited for my life now.

  161. thank you so much for sharing. I was called bitter by my friends because i couldnt get over someone. It was so hard for me to move on because it’s as if ive been played. I didnt know who to trust and i was heartbroken. I had to end my friendship with this person because i don’t wanna be a hater. i dont want to fill my life with hatred. almost two years have passed but sometimes it still stngs. i was mad but i tried to resist the feeling. Your article has helped me realize so many things. My bad experience has also helped me get closer to God. it has deeply humbled me. I am sad because of what had happened between me and the people i used to love. But you’re right! forgiveness is a gift i give to myself as well not just them. It’s a decision not a feeling. I release everything to God and celebrate the life he has given me. He has been blessing me a lot lately. ( well, what’s new? :)) Maybe I’ll completely forget the bad things soon. I forgive them with all my heart. Please pray for me. I want to be healed completely and I want to forget the bad memories. Life is beautiful. Praise the Lord. Thank you so much. you are a blessing.

  162. thanks so much for this article, Bo. i myself experienced bitterness, too. I also went through the two stages on how to forgive; being angry and releasing the anger, those two stages lasted for a year or so before i finally decided to forgive that person, forget about him and move on. because i realized that i have to stop hurting myself, too. I have to stop dealing with the past. now, i feel relieved. and this article of yours supported me and inspired me in anyway. again, thank you. Thanks be to God!

  163. This is the article I badly need these days. Thank you Bro Bo. c”,)

  164. very well said Bro.Bo. My the truly IDOL. Thank you for touching my Heart… teaching me to release all the pains in my HEART… Please include me in your prayer…

  165. Bro. Bo, I am always a forgiving person. I easily get mad yet easily forgives. But I have this bitterness in my heart. And yes, its easy to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. I know in my mind I can forgive him, but I guess im not ready yet. Its really hard to let go of the pain Bro Bo. But hopefully one day, I will be able to let go of everything. Be able to saythat im truely free from bitterness.

    God Bless you Bro Bo. YOu are really helping and guiding me in my life and to everyone’s life as well.

  166. You always give me a reason to love God much more than my life could have ever done before. I know God is always watching me and I know that I’m just an ordinary Christian and most sad part of it is I am a sinner. I always forgive people who gives me hurt, even though I am hurt by this unfair treatment and bitterness, my heart is always ready to forgive and I know God gave me this gift because he knows that I love him so much, I felt his great Love from God most of my entire Life. And I always felt this when I’m out or going to the Church during Sunday, I feel the warm energy, the Love and the Appreciation that God is giving me and also for my Family. Your stories Bro. Bo has always given me a courage and appreciation about myself, my family, and to my friends and to those people who truly cares for me, and don’t forget about those lessons to be learned from all of your Stories, it’s worth priceless. I am thanking you for that Bro. Bo. Just always continue to serve God and I know that He loves you and your Family more more and more….:). Cheers! Bro. Bo! at SALAMAT :) and Still Merry Christmas :)
    “Mahal Tayong Lahat” ni “BRO”:)

  167. Thank you very much Bro . Bo…
    Its really true…. last nov.09 my bf of 4 yrs cheated me.. it took be 2 wksof rejection… i ried to bargain.. and all but no avail…. at first it was really difficult for me to forgive..what i did —i asked for the gift of forgiveness ( thru simbang gabi ) ..by God’s Grace come early morning of DEC 25, 09 … i cried in front of the Image of our Lord and say my forgiveness out loud to my ex-bf. from that day on.. i feel relieved from pressures.. though sometimes the stoke of anxiety is there… calmness is questioning my mind..but true to my faith– i say with conviction ” The Lord is in Control” …and everythings work out well…still in the process of recovery and healing..but i know am in work at process.

  168. thanks bro. Bo. very inspiring… and I really need to hear this… i’ve been feeling this anger and pain for a long time now, and I really want to move on but I don’t know how to start, I’m so scared… but now reading your article, i found hope. Godbless you Bo..

  169. bro bo? why does men always heal fast in a broken relationship?

  170. bro bo, your words inspire me a lot especially this one.. i wanna thank my friend chris for showing me your site, and it helps me a lot to see reality.. i was blinded by my strong emotion that i have failed to see reality,.. i am married for 1 year and 1 month, i had problem with my husband.. he is active duty in military, (marine) he went to deployment and once he got there in afghanistan.. he change a lot.. he never even treat me as wife, he never even call me.. he dont even want to talk to me and i dont know the reason why.. everytime i ask him he said he just dont want to talk.. i admit i have bad attitude also, and im being bad because, he refuse to talk to me, so the more he refuse to talk to me, the more i get mad and butt hurt. i deal with his attitude for 7 months in deployment.. and when he came back from deployment.. he stayed with me for a month coz he still have to go work, after a month with me, he had 1 month vacation, and that 1 month vacation he spend it with his family and friends,, i didnt know he purchase a ticket to go home, too late already when i figure out.
    he go home back in texas, 1st week, he still talking to me and after that he starting to ignore me again and dont want to talk to me, he promise me he will goin to call me everyday, i left at home alone, im not driving either, so i feel bad everytime he dont want to talk to me, again.. the more he ignore me the more i get mad, i am his wife and i dont know why he is treatin me like that.
    he go back to hawaii from texas, he go home without wearing his bond ring, he changed a lot, he totally ignore me and after a few days, i noticed him alwayszs on his phone texting, i figured out hes texting different girl back from texas, 3am he will goin to recieve text message from the girl from texas time difference is 4 hours so 3 am in hawaii, 7 am in texas.
    im laying down with him but he’s texting different girl at 3 am in the morning.. i get mad, he hurt me a lot, lights and sounds from his phone keeping me up all night.

    this is the biggest and last fight we had.. one night i just wanted to put pillow on his head because he start snoring, when he turn his head on me (he’s half sleeping), he called me in different name,, the girl’s name back from texas, it hurts me alot.. i grab his phone coz i wanted to talk to him and hoping he will apologize, guess what happened,, he never apologize and he told me.. it happened it happened.. i feel so bad.. he start to grab his phone from my hand.. i refuse to give it.. i wanna know why he never even apologize.. is he mean to call me in different name?
    until we end up in physical fight, he push me and keep pushing till my head bang to the corner of the sink, and still keep fighting,, till end up he drag my face to the sink.. when we go inside the room, he keep pushing me away form him and push me hard tendency for me to fall from the bed to the floor. we go to living room we still fighting, im trying to hug him.. but he alwayszs pushing me and lay me to bed and choke me, my face bleed, he never even take care of me after that, i call my friend and they drive me to ER.

    after all what happened.. i still love him and i wanna forget everything..forgive him and i want him to forgive me for what i have been done to him… and forget and start a new life together, he refuse.. he said hes not mad at me, but he dont even want to see me at home, he dont want to be touch by me, and he admit he dont love me anymore..

    i feel so bad.. and before.. he said i am bipolar coz i change attitude so quick.. i reply back and i said.. “i am not bipolar, i just dont want to have fight and anger all day all night.. before the end of the day.. i want peace and forgiveness and reunite, i dont want the small fight become a big fight ruin our future” so everytime we get in fight.. i run to him after and be sweet again and say sorry but he dont want.. what happened to him, he will not forget.
    but right now.. i dont know what to do.. but i know i love him but i dont want fight with him anymore. i forgave him for everything.

    God Bless you and your family bro bo, God Bless us all!

  171. HI Bro Bo,

    I always thought I have forgiven my brother and my father for all the hurt they have caused me. Time and time again I would tell myself to let go and forgive them. I thought I have. But after reading your blog I realized that it’s still there. Because everytime they do something wrong anger is still there. I would still get mad at them. I may not get violent or physicallyy express my anger but in my mind I’ve been cursing them. Everytime they do something that hurts me, anger resurfaced making past hurts alive again. Today as I read your blog I have decided to end the hurt and release the anger stored up in me. I’m letting them go and so along with bitterness they will vanish in my life. I pray that GOD heal me from all these negative emotions i have saved up through the years. It wasn’t a nice feeling after all. It just made me weak, body and soul and spirit. I forgive you PAPA. I forgive you KUYA. That’s my declaration for today.

    Thank You Bro. BO for sharing this to all of us. Thank You! To GOD be the Glory!

  172. have read this article before and i thought i gave comments on this. anyway, my question is, how can i forgive these people who have hurt, betrayed me if they don’t even ask for my forgiveness? I am so sure that they think that they are innocent of what they did.
    all the best,
    nix

  173. Hi, this is the first written article of yours that I have read. You really are amazing. You have made me realize things I will never realize if I haven’t read your article. Thank you.

    P.S. I like those “ingrowns” and “poops” gross, yes it is but it was really funny!

  174. my x boyfriend cheated on me for the nth time, we broke up many times, got back many times not until his last cheating when i found out (from another source) that he have a secret (hid it 6 months) affair with another girl and the girl is 2 months pregnant (she’d now due this month by the way).. its been 7 months since our relationship ended and i have been so bitter. the girl is stable with her job,while I’m not. they are both good looking and they look happy.every time i ran into them,they make me feel like nothing has happened when in fact i was the one they hurt. Ive always told my friends and his friends about the real reason why we broke up so they would know how bad person he is, and no matter how i say mean things about him even if it was all true,i end up hurting myself still and i realized i have turn into this BITTER and MONSTER me and its indeed becoming a poison on me and my love ones. Thanks for this article Bro. Bo.—-it surely helped me a lot. I am so blessed that it made cry because its like you counseling me in person. THANK YOU!

  175. hi bro. bo!
    its very nice to read your articles.. i will share it to my best friend and my mom, that would be a great help…
    tnx a lot& God bless!

  176. Hi Brother Bo,

    A few months ago, I was able to read this article, it brought me to tears. I got healed instantly. But soon after, I was betrayed again. Making me bitter for months.. Poisoning me and the people around me. Then I remember to read this article. And then it hit me. That the only reason that I need to forgive is that God forgives me in my sins and He loves me even I didn’t deserved to be loved by Him.. Thank you so much Bo!

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