I have an announcement to make: God wants you to be happy. In fact, I believe God has already lined up the right blessings, the right miracles, and the right people to bless your life.
Especially the right people.
Why right people?
Because God wants you to be happy by having happy relationships.
He really only has one strategy to make you happy. He has no backup plan in case it fails. It’s through happy relationships or bust.
If you don’t have happy relationships, you’ll never be happy.
No matter how rich you are.
No matter how religious you are.
No matter how much you achieve in life.
No matter how beautiful you are.
No matter how intelligent you get.
At the end of the day, your life is all about relationships.
In other words, your life is all about love.
That’s why the greatest commandments are about love.
Because He wants you to be happy.
Listen To Older People
When John Izzo interviewed 235 older people, he found out that their most common regret is not taking enough risks.
But what was the most painful regret?
Failure in relationships.
When I talk to older people, I’ve heard this same regret too.
“I didn’t spend enough time with my family.”
“I didn’t put people before things.”
“I didn’t express my love.”
“I didn’t apologize and repair a broken relationship.”
Our most painful regret is that we didn’t love enough.
That’s why the Bible says, Let love be your highest goal. (1 Corinthians 14:1) More than anything else, love must be our most important dream.
Often, Dying Men Are Wise Men
One day, I visited a doctor who was battling with cancer.
His own doctors told he had six months to live.
When I saw him, he had all the signs of success: Big house, big cars, big job…
But he told me something that struck me deeply.
He said, “Brother Bo, please pray for me. I’m in pain. But the physical pain I experience is nothing compared to the hurt in my heart…”
He wept for a long time.
He finally blurted it out, “Bo, my kids don’t even want to visit me.”
I was shocked. “Why?” I asked.
“I can’t blame them. My children and I never had a good relationship. When they were growing up, I didn’t have time for them. I was so busy with my job. I’d go home impatient. I blew my top often. When I was angry, I couldn’t control my mouth. So I’ve said nasty things to my children that I wish I never said. Sadly, I can’t take back my words.”
He kept sobbing.
I prayed for him.
We were alone in his room. And it seemed like he was going to die alone.
I couldn’t help comparing this scene with the last years of my father. He was always surrounded by his kids and grandkids. Everyday, we were there with him.
Friend, how do you want to die?
You determine that by what you prioritize today.
Why The Kings Of Israel Failed
I found something interesting in the Bible.
In the span of 300 years, Israel had 43 Kings. You know some of them: King Saul, King David, King Solomon, etc…
But out of 42 Kings, only 8 were considered “good” Kings.
That’s pretty sad.
That means 34 kings were spiritually bankrupt.
Why?
Here’s the crux of the problem: Fathers were busy building their kingdoms, they had no time to build their sons.
Like anywhere else in the world, Kings passed their throne to their sons. Usually, a bad King begets another bad King.
And that’s the same problem today.
Fathers don’t have time for their sons. And daughters.
Fathers aren’t leading their families to God.
Fathers aren’t mentoring their children.
Love Circle Prayer
I created a special ritual that you can do for the next 7 days.
I call it the “Love Circle Prayer”.
Here’s my big promise: If you do this for the next 7 days, you will change. And your relationships will change.
Before I tell you why, let me tell you how.
There are three steps…
Step 1: Be Grateful For You
Select one stone to represent you. While holding it, thank God for who you are and the blessings of the day. (Example: “Thank you Lord for protecting me from an accident this morning; Thank you Lord that I was able to finish my report and my boss likes it…”) After praying, place the stone at the middle of the “Love Circle” Card.
Step 2: Be Grateful For The Love You Received
Select a stone for each loved one in your life. Hold each stone and thank God for how this person blessed you. (Example: “Thank you Lord for my wife’s unconditional love for me.”; “Thank you Lord for my mother’s gift of life to me.”) Place the stone at the outside circle. Repeat for each stone.
Step 3: Be Grateful For The Love You Gave
Hold each stone representing each of your loved ones, and thank God for how you were able to show love to that person. (Example: “Thank you Lord I was able to spend time with my son today”; “Thank you Lord I was able to tell my father I loved him today.”) As you do this, move the stone from the outer circle to the inner circle. Note: If you weren’t able to show your love to that person that day, plan how you can do it the next day.
Pray the Love Circle Prayer in the evening before you sleep. Do this for 7 days. This will change you and transform your relationships.
Why This Ritual Will Change Your Life
If you do this for 7 days, you’ll be changed.
How? By the power of gratitude.
For 7 days, you’re reprogramming your mind to look at the way your loved ones bless you. And not how they irritate you.
One day, I gave a retreat for married couples.
I asked them to write 10 wonderful qualities they see in their spouse. Immediately, they complained. “Ten? That’s too much!”
But they were kidding. All of them went to work, writing the answers. Except for one woman.
She came up to me and said, “Bo, there’s no redeemable quality in my husband.”
I said, “That’s impossible.”
“I’m telling you Bo, my husband is a creature from outer space. He’s an alien life form.”
“You can’t think of one thing that’s good about him?” I asked.
She said, “Well, I can think of one thing. He’s got good tastes. After all, he chose me.”
I smiled. “Write that down. Anything else?”
The Power Of Gratitude
“That’s it,” she said. “Nothing else.”
“I’ll help you to joggle your brain,” I said. “Does he help you at home?”
“No. He’s lazy.”
“Does he cook?” I asked.
She shook her head. “Are you kidding me? Of course not. He knows how to eat. And he eats like a monster…”
That’s when she stopped.
“You know, come to think about it, I feed my husband anything and he’s happy. I fry him an egg–and he’s content. I’m writing this down…”
She wrote it, “Mababaw ang kanyang kaligayahan.” (He’s easy to please.)
She kept on writing 8 more good qualities about her husband.
And in five minutes, I saw a physical transformation.
Her face changed. She was so happy. She pointed to her list and said, “Bo, puwede na yung Mister ko!”
But in those five minutes, her husband didn’t change.
She did.
That’s the power of gratitude.
That’s why I believe that this “Love Circle Prayer” will change you. Each night, you’ll learn how to be grateful for you and your loved ones.
And one more thing…
The Power Of Love
This ritual will also “force” you to show your love more.
Because in Step 3 (Be Grateful For The Love You Give), you’ll be thanking God for the opportunity to show love.
Just as a warning, let me tell you the story.
One day, there was a lion who called for a meeting with the animals. He said, “Each of you will tell a joke. But everyone must laugh or I’ll eat the one who told the joke.”
The monkey, who knew he was very funny, went up first and told his joke. When he reached the punchline, everyone cracked up. Everyone that is, except one animal: The turtle. He didn’t laugh.
The lion shook his head. He pounced on the monkey and ate him in one gulp. All the animals gasped. The lion called out, “Next!”
The parrot believed he was really funny so he stepped in front and told his joke. When he reached his punchline, all the animals laughed. Except the turtle!
And to everyone’s horror, the lion gobbled up the parrot.
All the animals were angry at the turtle! But they couldn’t say anything in front of the lion.
“Next!” the lion said.
The giraffe stepped up, trembling. He started telling his joke when the turtle began to laugh really hard!
The animals looked at him wondering what he was doing.
The lion asked the turtle, “What’s wrong with you? Giraffe hasn’t reached his punchline yet!”
The turtle said, “Haha! I can’t help it. The monkey’s joke was sooooo funny!”
Give Love, But Don’t Expect
An Instant Response
Let’s say you’re a father.
And you’ve not really been spending time with your kids.
But because of the ritual, you’ve decided to hangout with them. However, you find out that your kids don’t want to hangout with you!
It’ll be frustrating. But don’t give up.
Your kids are turtles. In due time, your children will “get it” and respond to your love.
You Have To Read This Incredible Letter
I just read Dr. Laura Schlessinger’s book, In Praise of Stay-At-Home Moms. If you’re a housewife, I highly recommend her book to you.
In her introduction, she includes a very inspiring letter written by a certain “Lisa”, a Stay-At-Home Mom. I was so touched by the letter, I’m including parts of the letter here.
Dr. Laura,
As I sit to write this letter, my hope is that if just one mother can hear what I have to say and holds her child just a little tighter today, I will have fulfilled my reason for writing.
By the time I was 29 our family was complete. I had three beautiful children, a loving husband, and although never money to spare, we found ways to get by. Although I had my mother and mother-in-law to babysit whenever I needed, by the time my middle son was born, I knew I could not work anymore. Something inside of me told me that I had to spend as much time with my children as I could.
There were many days where I was pulling out my hair, found myself screaming at them, and was totally exhausted by the end of the day, thinking to myself, “Any other work would be a pleasant relief.” But there were also many moments I would never trade in for any job, no matter what the pay. Those moments when your child gives you a smile or a look you never forget, moments when they would give you a kiss, a hug, or just hold your hand for no reason. Those are the moments a mother treasures in her heart forever…
Two years ago my middle son was killed in an auto accident. He was 22 years old. He was away at college when he decided to get in a car where the driver had been drinking; ten minutes later he was dead.
Our lives will never be the same again; the world as we knew it had been destroyed. We miss our son terribly. My husband, surviving two children, and I will never be the same, but we are trying to hold on to each other and pick up the pieces, one piece at a time.
Dr. Laura, there is only one thing I can say. I am so grateful for those moments I had with my son. Those moments, the good as well as the crazy ones, I will forever hold close to my heart. All those precious years I spent with my son now are what help me get through the day.
So please, Dr. Laura, never stop reaching to all the young moms who feel they can’t handle it, are struggling with making it through the day, who believe they “need” to work instead of being with their child, just how much it might someday mean to them to have spent those precious moments with their children. Hopefully other moms can just take my word for it: Don’t let anyone or anything prevent you from holding them, hugging them, playing with them, memorizing their smile, their laughter, their heart.
–Lisa
I’m not saying that all mothers must be fulltime homemakers.
Not all mothers can do that. Many mothers need to hold jobs and run businesses.
But motherhood is your most important role in life.
Listen To Your Older Self
I work from home.
There are advantages and disadvantages.
My advantages? I work in my shorts and T-shirt (air-cooled because of a few holes); I don’t experience traffic between my bed and my desk; I eat healthy home-cooked food; And I can play with my kids anytime I want.
Disadvantage? My kids can play with me anytime they want.
To be honest with you, there are days when I’m torn.
Like when I’m rushing a book or big project.
And my five-year old Francis sees me in front of my computer. He’ll simply walk up to me, sit on my lap, and say, “Daddy, let’s play Plants vs. Zombies (a computer game).”
At that moment, I have a big decision to make.
I could tell him, “Sure son!” Or I could tell him, “Not now, Francis, I’m busy.”
There are days when I’m torn between these two choices.
So I follow a powerful suggestion given in John’s book: When you’re making a decision in life, ask your older self for advice.
Older people are wiser.
Because they’re looking back at their lives.
I imagine myself as a 99 years old guy, sitting on a rocking chair. I approach him and ask, “Excuse me. What do you think should I do?”
And everytime, my 99-year old self will say, “Play with your kids. Your work will always be there. But your kids won’t. They’ll grow up, have their own lives, and walk away. Bo, when you’re my age, you’ll always treasure your time with your kids. You’ll always wish that you spent more time with them.”
Go ahead.
Do the most important thing in the world.
Build your relationships.
And be happy.
May your dreams come true,
Bo Sanchez
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