How To Deal With Your Temper
Do you lose your temper quickly?
When you’re caught in traffic, do you lose your cool?
Do you have shouting matches with your spouse?
Do you yell at your kids often?
Do you use degrading language?
Do you not speak to people you’re angry with for days, weeks, or even months?
If your answer is “Yes” to some of these questions, then you have a problem with patience. And you need to hear what I’m going to say today.
Here’s my big message for you today: Impatience means you lack trust in God. Many times, you’re impatient because you take matters in your hands. If you want to be patient, learn to take matters into God’s hands. (If you don’t understand this yet, it’s okay. By the end of this article, you will.)
Let me tell you about two men who were blowing their top…
Two Very Angry Brothers
I love this very human story.
Jesus was being rejected by a Samaritan Town. And James and John were so angry at them, they asked, Lord, do you want us to call fire down from heaven to destroy them? (See Luke 9:52-56)
James and John were so angry, they wanted to massacre an entire town. They wanted to kill men, women, and children. Including cute babies. Fry them all to a crisp.
In the brothers’ minds, it was their right to be angry. To them, this was righteous anger. Why? These Samaritans were making the most horrendous mistake of their lives. They were rejecting Jesus, the Son of the Living God.
So they said, “Kill ‘em, Lord!”
Here’s an important point: An angry person always thinks it’s his right that he should get angry. In his mind, it’s perfectly justifiable.
But what did Jesus do?
He rebuked them.
Perhaps he said to them, “Look guys, once upon a time, you were hard-headed too. You were as obstinate and foolish as they were. But God didn’t throw fiery comets at you. He was patient with you. You should do the same.”
Where Does Your Impatience Come From?
Let me tell you another story.
One day, a husband and wife were at home eating breakfast.
Right in front of the wife was their window, and through it, she could see her neighbor hanging clothes in the clothesline.
“Look at those clothes! Their dirty!” she told her husband. “Does she even use detergent? My goodness.”
The next day, as they sat at the table eating breakfast, she saw the same scene again. She said, “I can’t believe how dirty those clothes are. Someone has to teach that woman how to do the laundry!”
And for the next few days, she kept criticizing her neighbor.
But after a month, as they ate breakfast, she looked through the window and was surprised to see very white, clean clothes. “It’s a miracle!” the wife told her husband, “Our neighbor finally learned how to wash clothes!”
The husband smiled. “Not really. Finally, this morning, I cleaned our windows…”
Patience is not an external problem.
Patience is always an internal problem.
Circumstances don’t cause your impatience. Traffic doesn’t cause your impatience. Your unruly child doesn’t cause your impatience.
You cause your impatience.
You need to wash your windows.
Where Does Your Impatience Come From?
Impatience comes from your desire to control things that you have no control over.
James and John wanted to control the Samaritans. When they couldn’t, they got angry.
When you tell little Junior, “Take a bath!” and he dillydallies, you get impatient because you’re not in control.
When a mammoth traffic builds up, you get impatient because you’re not in control.
When the lines in the mall are extra long, you get impatient because you’re not in control.
Don’t get me wrong. The desire to control, by itself, isn’t bad. God gave you the power to control a few things. For example, parents need to be in control of their home. And managers need to control their companies.
You just need to know the difference between what you can control and what you can’t…
What Do You Control?
There are two Areas in your life: The Area of Control and the Area of Concern. You need to know the difference.
Your Area of Control is very small compared to your Area of Concern. At the end of the day, you can only control one thing: Yourself.
Many times, you can’t control the stimuli around you. But you control your response to that stimuli.
Stephen Covey says that between stimuli and response, there’s a gap. That gap is your power.
Here’s one example.
What’s Your Response To People’s Faults?
Question: Are you surrounded by people who have faults?
If you are, then you need to listen to this verse from the Bible: Make allowance for each other’s faults…(Colossians 3:13)
You can’t control people’s faults. But you can control your response to those faults.
How? Expect imperfection. Do this one thing and you’ll remove many of your frustrations. Your relationships will be happier.
Learn to live with the imperfection of people.
Speaking about imperfection, let me share about my marriage…
My Marriage Is Fantastic
I have a fantastic marriage. Not perfect. But fantastic. Reason? My wife and I have accepted each other’s imperfections.
For example, it takes me 5 minutes to get dressed.
But it takes my wife two hours.
In the first three years of our marriage, this fact bothered me so much.
I’d sit in the car, enduring the agony of waiting for her. I’d grip the steering wheel so hard, if it weren’t made of steel, it would have become a pretzel. I’d grit my teeth, muttering to myself, “Why in the world does she take so much time?”
But for ten years now, the situation has totally changed.
Mind you, she didn’t change. She still takes 2 hours to dress.
But I’ve changed. I’ve washed my window. I’ve accepted that as part of marrying a beautiful woman.
So what if we’re a little late? It’s not the end of the world.
Oh yes, I still sit in the car and wait for her. But I no longer endure it. I enjoy it. I enjoy the quiet. When she finally gets in the car, I say, “Hi, gorgeous…”
One more example…
How Do You Respond To Traffic
You can’t control the traffic. (Unless you happen to work as a traffic cop.)
Traffic belongs to your Area of Concern.
What can you control? You can control your response to the traffic. Are you going to blow your top or are you going to enjoy the traffic? That’s up to you.
Call me crazy, but I’ve learned to enjoy traffic. When there’s traffic, I take it as a gift from God to slow me down. To chat with the other passengers. To listen to an inspiring audiotalk. To plan for a project. And if I’m not driving, to catch up on my reading.
If you want to become a patient person, you need to do 3 very important things…
Emergency Steps: Stop, Look, & Listen
If you have problems with your temper, and you feel your anger brewing within you, you want to Stop, Look, and Listen.
Step 1: Stop
Are you about to explode?
Count one to ten.
Count one to ten thousand if necessary.
The important thing is to stop what your anger wants you to do at that precise moment. (I know of a few people who’re in jail now because they obeyed their anger.)
I know stopping isn’t easy. Someone told me it’s like stopping a landslide when the rocks are already falling.
In psychology, they call this a “pattern interrupt”. Do something so unexpected, it’ll short-circuit your brain pattern. Take a walk. Go out and exercise. Slap yourself. Laugh!
Close your eyes, inhale, and breathe in God’s Love.
Visualize you’re in a lovely beach or forest or mountaintop.
Most of all, pray.
That’s what I mean by “Stop”.
Don’t obey your anger. Don’t send that angry email. Don’t send that angry text. Don’t shout that angry word.
Believe me, if you do, you’ll regret it forever.
You’ll Regret Saying Your Angry Words
I read a story of a boy who had a bad temper.
His father told him, “Son, every time you’re angry, get a nail and hammer it on the fence.”
The son did as instructed.
On the first day, he hammered 37 nails on their wooden fence. But as the days went by, he hammered fewer nails each day. He realized it was easier to tame his anger than hammer nails.
Finally, a day came when he didn’t hammer a single nail. The boy went to his father and told him the good news. “Dad, I’m able to control my anger already.”
The father said, “Congratulations son. I’m happy for you. Come, let’s remove the nails from the fence.”
As the son pulled out the last nail from the wooden fence, the father said, “Son, do you see what I see?”
“Nail holes,” the son said, “Lots of them.”
The father looks him in the eye and says, “Son, next time you want to say angry words, remember this fence. Even if you apologize later, angry words leaves a scar in the hearts of people. Even if you’re forgiven, that scar remains for a long time.”
Just stop.
The Bible says, Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. (James 1:19-20)
Here’s the second step…
Step 2: Look
Look for God in the difficult situation.
Specifically, look for God’s Love.
Look for Him loving you at that moment of testing.
Look for His Presence in this irritating situation or annoying person.
One day, my flight to Cebu was delayed for 4 hours.
When the announcement was made over the loud speakers, everyone around me in the airport grumbled loudly. And the complaining didn’t stop. About missed meetings. About lost time. About being stuck in the airport.
Delayed flights aren’t in my Area of Control. It’s in my Area of Concern. And I repeat, anything in my Area of Concern are things I need to entrust to God’s Love. I need to believe that God is doing something behind the scenes, working all things for my good. (Romans 8:28)
So I had a totally different reaction.
I closed my eyes and smiled. I saw God in that situation. In my mind, God was giving me an unexpected 4-hour vacation.
I was like a little kid on Christmas, excited to open a huge gift-wrapped box. I read my book; made new friends; wrote a new article; called up my wife; I even walked around the airport for my daily exercise.
It was a beautiful surprise gift from God.
I loved it so much, when I have a flight today, I sometimes secretly wish it were delayed.
So just in case you have a flight, and it gets delayed, look for me in the airport. (Sorry, my wishes are powerful.)
Finally, the third step…
Step 3: Listen
Listen to God’s instructions.
Ask the big question: What’s the wise thing to do?
Some people think being patient means being passive.
Not true. You can be patient and proactive at the same time.
One day, my friend was in a bank with a very long line. How long? He said he was waiting in the cue for 30 minutes. And all the customers were complaining.
Instead of grumbling like everyone else, my friend responded with action. He looked for the manager, and simply (patiently) asked if she could add tellers.
She actually did. She added two more tellers—and instantly, that one long line became three short lines.
In your Area of Control, you control. But in your Area of Concern, you influence.
How? Through patient action.
Let me give you another example of patient action…
A Word To Parents With Temper Problems
Are you a parent with a short fuse?
Let me guess. So far, your temper has been a disaster. It hasn’t worked. Your anger has failed in training your kids.
You’ve learned that no amount of shouting works.
So here’s my suggestion. Change your strategy.
Let me give you God’s wisdom.
I read Kevin Leman’s book, Have A New Kid By Friday. He gives fantastic advice. Basically, he tells parents not to get angry when kids misbehave.
He explains why…
Children Don’t Listen To Anger,
They Listen To Action
Let me give you an example from Kevin Leman.
4-year old Julio is at the back of the car, throwing a temper tantrum. He screams, “I hate you Mommy!”
Mommy, instead of using anger, uses action.
A few minutes after they arrive home, Julio goes to the kitchen. He looks for his milk and cookies—and it’s not there. At that point, his quiet world is discombobulated. Because kids are creatures of habit. Every afternoon, Mommy always prepares milk and cookies.
So Julio goes to his mother and asks, “Mommy, where are my milk and cookies?”
Very calmly, mommy says, “No milk and cookies today.” She then turns around and walks away. (This step is very important.)
Little Julio runs after her. (Kids always do.) He asks, “Why Mommy? Why? Why? Why?”
This is a teachable moment. This is when he is actually open to what Mommy has to say. She says, “Because I didn’t like what you did in the car. You had a temper tantrum. (Mommy acts it out just to make it clearer to the little guy.) And you said, ‘I hate you, Mommy.’ That hurt me very much.”
By this time, little Julio is bawling, “I’m so sorry Mommy! I won’t do it again.”
Mommy says, “I forgive you, Julio.” She hugs him.
That’s when Julio whimpers, his big eyes filled with giant tears, “Mommy, can I have my milk and cookies now?”
Here’s the secret sauce of this powerful action. Mommy says, “No milk and cookies today. You’ll have it tomorrow.”
Believe me, Julio will never forget the lesson.
Why? Because kids don’t listen to your anger.
They listen to action.
And you only have to do this once or twice. He’ll never throw another temper tantrum again.
Let me end…
Relax And Trust In God’s Love More
I repeat: Impatience comes from lack of trust in God’s Love.
How come? You become impatient because of a desire to control things you have no control over.
But where does this desire to control come from?
Sometimes, it comes from love. A genuine concern for others.
But many times, it comes from fear.
I’ve noticed that many times, subconscious fear is the fuel of our impatience.
And our greatest fear is the fear of worthlessness.
I know that sounds deep.
But it’s really very simple.
Often, the fear of worthlessness causes your impatience.
Let me give you an example.
One day, a mother came up to me and shared to me her total frustration with her daughter. She said, “Her grades are so bad. She spends hours on the phone. And she looks horrible with her black lipstick and black nail polish. Her boyfriend looks like smelly bum. Oh Bo, there’s not a day when I don’t shout at her!”
I asked her this question. “Why are you angry?”
“Because… because she’s not acting right! I mean, what will others say? That I’m not a good mother?”
Aha. There lies the real reason for her rage.
The fear of “what other people will say…”
In other words, it’s the fear of social death.
It’s the fear of worthlessness that’s driving her anger.
That is why, I believe that the ultimate solution to impatience is trusting in God’s Love.
When you know you’re totally, completely, and absolutely loved by God, you know there’s nothing else to prove.
You relax.
Impatience drains out of your system.
Why was I so angry at my wife because her long preparation time? When I dug deeper, I realized that it was because I was afraid of people telling me, “Bo is late for our meeting. What a terrible example…”
But then the switch came in my heart. When I realized I was totally, completely, and perfectly loved—I knew I was whole. I didn’t need anyone’s good opinion about me to make me whole.
There was nothing to prove. I found I no longer cared about what other said about me. Fear was gone. I began to relax in God’s Love. And my impatience vanished as well.
Because perfect love casts out all fear (1 John 4:18).
May your dreams come true,
Bo Sanchez
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Filed under: Blogs by bosanchez
thanks Bro. Bo for this inspiring article,,from now on i will be more patient w/ my brother’s attitude and pray for him more,,i just want him to be a good man as he grows,,and i will be more patient in waiting for things to happen,,
God Bless everyone!! Have a great life time,,
Hi Mr Sanchez,
The word is FREAKY. I prayed for the Lord to show me the way for a problem I had (see,it’s past tense) and I believe he answered my prayer by way of ur blog 5 hours later!! I prayed during evening mass and its almost 12 midnight now. I’m Singaporean and ur blog is my homepage!
So I have to work on my impatience n temper!I have a few Filipino friends and I’ll come back home with them one of these days n attend ure talks n thank u in person!
God bless U n ur family!!
Exactly what i needed. Thanks Bo!
its a very inspirational words that i read . i open my mind and my eyes now . i have anger in my self …………i hope i can pass all the problem that i have , god is always with us .
thanks a lot bro. Bo
have a nice day Sir Bo thanks a lot for your article its so inspiring, alam n’yo po na galit ako sa sarili ko kaya madali akong magalit almost 2 weeks na na may galit ako sa isang tao d ko alam kung ako lang ba ang problema? when I recieved this article just now..gusto ko syang tawagan para kausapin, but how? wala na akong contact sa kanya. sana mawawala din galit nya sa akin…once again MARAMING SALAMAT sa inyo…na kapag bigay po kayo ng lakas ng loob.
GODBLESS ALL!
Thanks Bo for a very nice and inspiring message..I know it’s a big help for us..God bless you more….
Hi, Bo,
Thanks for the inspiring articles so NICE,i can share this to my sis who always make angry i hope it will help her to enlighten, and i can apply to myself too..
Thanks,
More power and God Bless you more..
Thanks Bo for an inspiring reminder. Reminder, because I’ve attended a few seminars of Steven Covey’s and similar subjects about controlling your anger but on those seminars, God and God’s love are not included.
Maybe that is why it only worked for a while because I was still in control, But when God is included, there is a big difference.
God bless you all.
I was enlighten this morning.. Thanks..
Maraming salamat po, for this another enlightening article. Hope to read more articles about “worth”, “security”, “gratefulness” and “acceptance” in the future.
Hi Bo,
Thank you so much for this article. I am a very impatient person. I want to have things fast. I don’t like waiting. This is enlightening. I try to control things I have no control of.
God bless you more.
Thanks a lot! This inspiring lesson is fit for me. God is good and you are his messenger.
Bro. Bo, thank you very much for this very enlightening article. I used to loose always my temper and at the end i’m always the one who suffered for that anger. This article help me to improve to control my impatience and i’m going to read it over and over again.
Bro Bo,
Thanks for this article. In a way, I’m reminded that God continues to care for me and my family because of this. You see, I’m so scared of what will happen to my brother’s business (financially, it’s not doing good), and due to that fear I’d bet on lotto with the reason that I wanted to help him. He’s into a financial pit right now (worth around Php 80 millions, and properties are being foreclosed) and I’m getting angry with some people who caused his problem, causing also my impatience. Now I realized that I’m not in full control. Please pray for my brother and me that God will provide for us in His own perfect time. My brother had been an angel for me and my family and I just want to return the favors. God bless you.
Thanks, Bro. Bo! Most of the time, i struggle in this area! Praise God for the timely and enlightening article.
Bro. Bo, the story of a really struck me. i would always remember the nail holes!! This article is a message from God. Thank you very much..
Bro. Bo, the story of the boy really struck me. I would always remember the nail holes.. This article is a message from God to me. Thank you very much..
Good day Bo. Thank you so much for the beautiful, important and enlightening article. we should bear in mind,at all time, that God is in control. God bless you.
Thank you for the inspiring article bro Bo..
Thanks Bro. Bo for this article. For many years, I have difficulty controlling my temper but I have constantly prayed for it to GOD because I knew it is not good. One time, when one of my officemates and I had a disagreement about something, I was able to control my temper but I was shaking after that. But it did not deter me from wanting to control it. I was more happy now because I didn’t lose my patience easily.
God is good. If you acknowledge your weaknesses and you put your faith in HIM then nothing is impossible.
Have a blessed day.
Hi Bro Bo,
Whoa! What a powerful message! I m from singapore n always look forward to Monday to reading your inspiring article. I always have a problem being impatient which so often escalate into anger. You are truly God sent. Will remember your advice n practice it too. Should I visit Philippines one day, I hope to meet up with you. God bless u n ur crew n family always.
Very very beautiful Bo! God bless
This is such a very enlightening and inspiring article. I never realized all the things that you wrote until I’ve read them today. You truly are God’s mouthpiece…. I have such a terrible temper especially when I tutor my son. But you’re right, “children don’t listen to anger, they listen to action.” I already tried this before and it did work, but I was not consistent. This time I will implement this strategy…. Thank you so much for this article. It’s an eye-opener for all of us who always succumb to our anger.
bro. bo thanks for sharing very inspiring. lovet! very good stories that i will treasure and share with others thank you again and God Bless you always you are such a blessing to everyone- the anointed one.
Thanks Bro. Bo for a very inspiring message this monday morning. God Bless!
Bro. Bo,
Thanks so much for the awakening message.. It helps me a lot..
Thanks for a very inspiring messages. I hope everyone who needed this kind of reminder can read this.
Thank you Bro Bo for this inspiring article. We really can’t change the people around us by loosing our temper, the best thing that we can do is to change the response.
i’m hit, but i’m so thankful you did…
that’s wonderful messages. I can please to share this to all my friends? thanks bro. BO
Thanks bro. Hits me bulls-eye. Just what I needed to know. I used to be very patient, but d challenges of raising kids n a home make me lose my temper.. But this made it clear to me. And indeed, I have learned a lot today.. Will try to remember all that u have written.. Thanks so much!
God bless!
Thanks Bo! it’s very touching especially when the person who reads has a temper problem like me. But i feel like it’s too short because it’s so nice! Well, thanks again and God Bless!
P.S. I may sound like the youngest reader because i’m just 13 years old. Hahaha!
Hi Bro. Bo,
Thank you God for having you here..Thank you for this wonderful article..I really need this. I want to print this and put it in my wallet so as to read again when my temper flares..I keep on praying to deal with this and here you are..as God’s instrument to answer my prayer.
Good health to you and your family. May you always continue to be an inspiration to all of us. All the best.
Your sharing has enlightened me. I always meddle with the affairs/activities of the members of my family thinking that if I don’t, they will be mislead or they will end up into trouble. I realized that I do need a lot of faith not only in God but also with what my husband and child. Making God in control of everything will save me from heartaches and terrible migraine.
Thanks God for He use you bro. Bo to understand the root cause of my impatience— lack of trust to God’s love. From now on, I will always be conscious to follow the 3 steps you recommend for me to be patient. I believe these steps are wisdoms comes from God. More blessing to come to you bro!
bro. bo, thank you po.. ngayon alam ko na po kung paano ko didisiplinahin ang 5-year old kong anak.. alam ko na po kung paano ko na rin ngayon kokontrolin ang temper ko sa mga simpleng bagay na nagpapagalit sa akin.. salamat po.. instrumento kiayo ng Dios sa pagpapamulat ng mata ng mga tulad ko.. God Bless and more power..
dear bo,
your article is a message from God for me today. yes, really i believe it is, because i just had a heated argument w/ my husband yesterday, so we’re not in speaking terms today since yesterday. then when i opened my facebook this morning, the first item was your name w/ “how to deal w/ your temper” article. thank you Lord for using bro bo to speak to me today. i really had a blessed good morning today! God bless! i appreciate more articles on dealing w/ your partner & other people during menopausal/andropausal period…
Thank you Bo for this message today. God has just sent me a reminder through you as a medium. I am so frequently impatient and many times ended up mad and raging only to feel bad why I allowed myself to get into such madness and rage over things I cannot control. When our hands are full, we forget the true meaning of His plan for us. You just reminded me what we hear in the mass -that the kingdom, the power and the glory are His now and forever and I should pray more and trust Him. Truly I should be grateful my hands are full than empty. Thank you again.
Thank you very much.. It was very clear and very practical..
I hope it can be integrated to Values classes in school..
It will surely contibute to a more peaceful Philippines..
May God continue to bless you with more wisdom to share with your fellowmen..
thanks Bro. Bo. This is what I need…Thanks God I was enlightened with your article…
Thanks God! thanks Bro. Bo
I forget my control of temper this past few days… salamat po ng marame Bro. God is with us po talaga.God bless po
Hi Bo,
Thanks for keeping us nourished with wisdom and inspiration through your e-mails. God’s patience through you in guiding and forming us is really obvious. Pray that in gratitude to him, i may remain patience in rearing my four children that He entrusted to me and my wife. I am also interested with your program of being “truly rich” to be able to share more especially for my needy relatives and neighbors. I hope i could have the opportunity to join in the near future. Good luck to the ministry!
Bo, thanks a lot for the very enlightening message … exactly what I need at this moment of sadness and disappointment. You’re an ANGEL!
Hi Bro. Bo,
Just what I really need today some encouragements. I have lots of patients but when you’re already drained with something mauubos din ang pasensya mo. Thank you so much.
How can I share this with my friends? Particularly this one. Thanks again and God bless.
You are an instrument of God’s whipering words in the air Bro. Bo…Patience taught by my father and he himself is tested right now with it for the people that surrounds him are putting him to test. May God’s grace of patience be with him always and give him more strength to fight.
Thank you. God bless us more.
wonderful!!!=)
Bro. Bo thank you for the message that enlighten me today.
This past few days I become impatient and always wondering why this things happen to me. I learned to be more patient and trust the Lord. Being impatient was not trusting the Lord this words hit me.
I am on the process of recovering myself from being unemployed because of my wrong decision here in abroad. I Believe I can find job again all I need was to find a job more eagerly and to trust God that he have a wonderful plan to me.
More power to your Bro. Bo and continue to inspire us with your wonderful message. Godbless
A very inspiring read this morning, Bro. Bo. If everyone could just pause for a while and seize anger then possibly we could have a peaceful, loving place to live with. Thanks and God bless.
thanks Bro. Bo.this helped me a lot, especially to an impatient person like me.I am getting impatient right now, because I feel like I am not the successful person I wish and want to be.I feel impatient because I am not given any good opportunities.now,I will trust in God more.I feel like He is working on something.. a big blessing that’ll blow me away..I feel like you are God’s hands, writing His message to the world..
Very enlightening Bro. Bo. It is indeed an eye opener and very appropriate because most of your examples are my constant “constant concerns” like traffic, my employees, etc. We often forget this, we must need to be reminded. May I post this in the FB? A lot of people will benefit from this. Thank you.
Thank you bo!
Thank you, Bo for this article. I have been dealing with my temper ever since I realized it is not healthy and is also hurting other people; it is only now that I figured out the root cause and like all diseases, it is only in battling the root cause that one can be healed. Thank you
hi bo! thanks a lot… god is good all the time, and you are his messenger for us….
Thanks for this wonderful article about me
Thanks, Bo!
This article was the thing that I exactly needed this week. Just last weekend I had a fight with my mom and I shouted at her and told her hurtful things. That incident added up and one bad thing lead to another. I think that I am very impatient and I need God badly to heal me from this sickness. I’m really glad I read your article.
May our Lord continue to bless you, your family and the work that he has begun in you. Thanks again, Bo!
Guts
hi Bo… thank u so much for this very timely and helpful article..i have been asking the Lord to will it to me to have a 100% virtue of patience… i am not there yet because of… yes the very exact opposite…impatience… and sometimes wanting things to happen my way and at my own time forgetting that everything happens according to His appointed time…it gave me a good laugh while reading and relating to this article but I also shed tears realizing how great God is ! He answered my prayer by providing me a guide:-) YOU are truly a blessing to people like me.. thank you and keep up the good work through God’s love! God bless to you and your family:-)
Thanks Bro. Bo.
bro. bo. thank you so much for the very inspiring article . its very helpful to us . i have these problem sometimes , and i want to share these to my family and friends . specially to my son who have also a short temper and always flared up in a very small matters. can i post this to my fb friends? you are a blessing to me really. thank you.
Thank you for a very inspiring message Bro. Bo..
God bless and more power to your ministry.
Hi! Bo & everyone, Trust is the cause of temper.. 6 yrs ago there was a history of womanizing. His back to us for good. then now this happened.. I warned him that this woman is obviously flirting with him in front of me. He just disregard what i say. Until i was SO mad i make a BIG fight, then he said his sorry for his actions he realize i\’m right. Another promise of \” I won\’t do it again \”. Then just a few months, i saw this picture another woman embrace him & he holds back!! & he said again it\’s nothing just for a shoot.. I\’m jealous, YUP.. But what is this message to me? I keep on warning him of his actions not to show it to me but his not careful. I have so much hatred to him.. Though now, i\’m trying that we\’re okey.. How to give give trust & forgiveness? Thank you for this article. I would read it all over again for my enlightenment..
Thank you so much for your articles Sir Bo! They are like oases in this desert which is the internet!!!
I have learned that from my retreat! It’s all about the 90/10 Principle!
Thanks Bo! No words can explain how happy and grateful I am because of your article Bo. You are God\’s way of answering my prayers. I was asking God what is the right thing to do he answered me through you. I had a big fight with my big sister and I didn\’t realize until I read your line that I have no right to be angry because I don\’t like her attitude. You have touched my ego. Thank you for reminding me always to become a better person. Thank you so much Bo!!! God bless you and your family. May your words and wisdom touches more people.
thank you Bro Bo for this inspiring article…It badly reminded me that I have a problem with my impatience and getting angry easily by shouting..I wish this would inspire me to slowly if not immediately change this attitude…
God bless and more power!
Thanks Bo! this is very inspiring. For us, who have been wanting a baby for quite some time. this is just perfect. Every time we get negative results we get depressed. frustrated. But your article reminds us, that we have no control over things, but what we could do is just pray and hope for the best. God bless.
hi Bo, as i read ur article, I cud see myself in almost every word u wrote. I sure have problem with anger. i have had sad moments with it. I caused pains and lost a few friends a long the way and worst of it all, i caused pains on my love ones. I’ve been trying to heal the scars. God bless u Bo. Thanks.
Bo,
You continue to enlighten me. I can’t thank you enough. May God continue His work in you…
This message comes in absolutely PERFECT timing. Thank you Lord and thanks Bro. Bo!
Salamat po sa magandang article ngaun. Guilty ako sa pagiging impatient to the extent na inaaway ko pa un husband ko sa khit maliit na bagay,un anak namin na makulit na napapagalitan ko pa dahil matagal sumunod.. Salamat ulit. Sisimulan ko na i-apply ang nabasa ko ngaun lage! : ) count 1 to 10 before mag salita. Nahihiya tuloy ako sa mga taong nasaktan ko.
Good morning Bro Bo! Thank you very much for this inspiring story. Especially the story of the boy really STRUCK me. I would always remember the ” Nail Holes “. I’m reminded that God continues to care for me and my family because of this article. More power Bro Bo!! You are truly God sent. God is really Good.
Thank you Lord for letting Bo write this very inspirational article.
thanks bro Bo to this very inspiring article,being impatient is my problem in a long time this article is very right for me i always wanted to be in control i hope and pray that i always practice to stop, look and listen always and to always trust in God in everything that i do.thank you very much and GODBLESS .
Hi Bo,
thanks for the inspiring words makes me enlighten, and now i will apply it to myself,with the help of our mighty god and the holy spirit,i don’t want to hurt people,because of my impatient..may the lord bless you and more power..
God bless.
Dear Bro. Bo,
Very timely!
I was just in a situation last week wherein I lose my temper. Thanks for this, I am being reminded of being “patient”.
I just reeceived a message from the person from whom I had an argument - she was asking for an apology. I prayed to God on how to reply and your inspiring message, I believe is His answer. So I forwarded the first part re : Father and Son to the person.
May God bless you and your family always.
Thanks for your inspiring message. Keep them coming!
Thanks for all your words of encouragement, friends.
Some of you are asking if you can pass to friends, repost in FB, etc.
Yes, of course.
Share the love.
Spread the hope.
May your dreams come true,
Bo
Sir Bo,
My husband has PTSD and it’s a big challenge in our marriage. He is happy in a minute and the next minute he is mad. I am a very patient person and he is the very opposite when he snaps. The situations you mentioned like the traffic, the long wait, delayed flight, it reminded me of him. I have forwarded this article to him and I hope he realize things upon reading. I love my husband I want to help him. Thank you for sharing articles like this!
I felt like you were specifically talking to me. Thank you for inspiring me and for making me understand. I can see clearly now.
The Lord is speaking to me thru your blog. It hits me point blank… All I have to remember now…I am dearly loved inspite of my imperfections, so I shouldn’t be critical to the imperfections of others. To God be the glory..
Thank you so much Bro.. This is such an inspiring article
ang gandang simula para sa long weekend.. hapi holiday..
thank you for the many inspiring articles.
having a habit of reading your stories helps me to have a healthy mind together with my wife..
Brother Bo, thank you very much for the message. I am actually in the process of disciplining my impatient self….have to do it before I can help my husband with his own impatience…esp when driving.
I will print your article and have him read it.
Actually saw you in Cebu airport last June, while waiting for our flt back home to Bacolod, but was too shy to greet you…next time I won’t let anything stop me from approaching you.
God bless you and your family all the time
Ang galing nyo po sir Bo, sobrang hanga. Ang ganda po ng sinusulat nyong mga article, nkakainspire tsk mas napapalapit kmi kay God. Salamat po..
Glory to God! Thank you Bro.Bo! You’re a great messenger!
thanks bro. bo, i do have problem with temper and your article is very timely. ill try to follow your steps and pray to God that i can control my temper and be more patient. more blessings to you and your family….
Bro. Bo thank you po sa Soulfood na pinadala nyo..tamang tama sya sa pangyayari ngayon sa buhay ko dahil inaway ko ang nanay ko (inaamin ko naman po na pagkakamali ko) dahil nakapagsalita po ako ng hindi maganda at hindi nya nagustuhan..i know its too late to say sorry kasi nakasakit na’ko..thank you po ulit…God Bless
Thanks Bo for a very enlightening article again. God bless you!
Hi Bo, thank you so much for this very inspiring message. I have a hard time controlling my temper. With that I used to have the people that I love hurt with the things that I say because of my impatience. Now I know that the best thing to have more patience is by trusting God. I now truly know the cause of my impatience.
God bless you!
Thank you again Bro. Bo for your truly wonderful article…You are an instrument of God and I thank God for you! God bless you more in your ministry! God bless your family!
much love & prayers,
Hutch
Hello Bo,
thank you very much for this life changing message. this message is for me. May God hel me to control my impatience.
PERFECT! i lose my temper the whole morning…when i opened my email i was shocked..Why? because your article is about how to deal with your temper…haha… grabe talaga si Lord.!
God’s words are very timely indeed! Thanks be to God for having you as his instrument. God bless and more power.
It is such a nice and powerful reminder to us.. Patience is indeed a virtue to develop and learn… the Area of Control and Concerns from Covey are really in line with being patient and be proactive about things around us.
We choose our own weather… with God as our guide and His love as our inspiration to live everyday with a happy heart.
This is such a heart-and-mind-opening article.
As I read this, I suddenly want to ‘clean my windows.’
Impatience comes from fear and not being in control.
Thank you so much!
Thanks Bro Bo for this inspiring and enlightening article. This really helped me. You really bless people. May God continue to make you an instrument of his Love.
Thanks brother Bo. You are the mouthpiece of God…Truly you are a messenger from God…This article is very down to earth…Now I know how to deal with my daughter and for the rest of the members of the family. God bless your family
Letty
God is soo real. He is talking infront of me thru your articles. Gos is filtering me thru your teachings…I cannot ran away from HIm. He keeps on looking and haunting me everywhere i go and every areas of my life.. But this is it.. I surrender! I accept this preparation for a more wider, bigger and better responsibility towards God’s people. My mission begins..
Thanks Bro. Bo..May your tribe increase!
thanks bro. bo! it’s a revelation and it’s all i needed…. so inspiring and so precise… God bless you even more…
Thanks Bro for this reminder how important being patient is. God Bless you more.
Brother Bo,
You’re one in a million.
Thank you very much this awesome thoughts that you shared for us. God bless you more
Mabuhay
Hi, BO thank you much for your very very informative article, it will help so much in my day to day activities, in home, work place and etc.
Thank you so much Bo for a very inspiring article.God bless you!
Dear Bro. Bo,
I received this email from my friend and I appreciate a lot your message, very inspiring.. now, i had an idea on how to deal my temper.. thanks so much for your message.
God Bless u more!!:)
Thanks Bo for this inspiring article. I have been impatient in my life. Now I know how to be patient. God bless and more power to you and your staff..
I really praise and thank GOD again for giving me a chance to be part of Light of Jesus Community because I’m always guided by the truth from Bro. Bo, he is a God’s messenger. Stop, Look and Listen are the key words every time we encounter trials.
Bro. Bo. you’re a gifted man with a kind heart especially to the less fortunate brothers and sisters.
GOD bless you more Bro. Bo and your whole family especially Tita Pilar, she is so sweet to me.
It’s really a blessing to read your article kuya Bo..I also have problem with temper, and I have controlled it many times, but I realize that there are more ways to control it aside from being calm and not talking, or ignore the concerned person. Have a blessed day Kuya Bo..I will surely share this to people who has also a temper problem.. God bless…
thank you bo, i thought all my temper are justified, there’s nothing wrong with it, i will try to change my temper with God’s help.
im refreshed and engligthened with wat iv’e read..i also got problems on temper..
from ow on i will try my best to stop, look and listen and most especially to trust God on matters i cnt take control.
Bravo!!!!! Nail holes you mentioned will always be remembered!!!
God bless & More power…..thanks again Bro.Bo.
Dear brother Bo,
Maraming salamat po for sharing this powerful article with us. I am first to admit na tinamaan ako sa lahat ng nabasa ko. Thank you for being God’s voice, telling me that HE loves me no matter imperfect I am.
What a great message, Bo! I find myself repeating this over and over to my rather impatient self at times.
I agree about the fear of social death or worthlessness. I personally feel that it\’s what drives people to be excessively restless and sometimes drives them to a point of no return.
Thanks for this reminder, Bo, but next time have some consideration for the other people on a trip with you who might be on a schedule, too.
God bless!
a very inspiring one… examples that touch the heart truly, being in the love of Christ is a true gift.
Thank you Bro Bo and God bless!
Agie (Doha, Qatar)
Dear Bo,
Thank you for this article. This is just right in time for me. All the best!
i thank God for this inspiring article,i will apply this everytime i lost control with my 70 grade 1 pupils + 5 kids at home.
i learned a lot from this,
Thank you bro Bo Godbless!
This is a very nice article. I lost my patience last weekend and I regret it now. Kung nabasa ko lang ito agad I think mas okay naging outcome. I am now enlightened. thanks
Great article Bro. Bo! When are you going to give out a workshop seminar about internet marketing? I’m really interested in that!
Thanks Bro Bo,
You’re article is just right in time…. Perfect!!
Hi, Bo,
Thanks for this valuable article. I had been bad tempered with my previous relationship and had created a gap and not in good terms until now. I may or may not fix it, but with this article I can make progress in my next relationship. Thanks Bo again.
Hi Brother Bo,
This article is just what I needed today. Earlier, I had to deal with my dad throwing a temper tantrum! Yeah, you heard it right. He spends most of his day on bed and always calls on my mom whenever she is not within his sight. I suspect my dad is already suffering from some form of dementia and this is hard for me to accept. It feels like I’m dealing with a 6-year-old kid throwing things around the room when he doesn’t get what he wants. That is my dad. I know it’s not nice to say this but sometimes I wish I deserve a better one.
Bro. Bo please pray for me. I feel as though I have to deal with so many things and struggles all at the same time. I pray that the Lord will strengthen me because I lack faith in him.
God bless.
P.S. And oh please, to all the parents out there, please don’t be a burden to your family. And perhaps to all children out there, be extra patient. As the saying goes, ‘Mahirap magpalaki ng magulang.’ and I believe this is true. If there is anything to be thankful to God for, it is that my mom is strong and continues to be so for us.
Hi Bro. Bo!
How about being impatient in reading another wonderful article from you? just kidding……..=) hehehe..galing!
thanks you so much for your inspiring story everyday you have send to me. It really means a lot to me..
May the God bless you always!