I believe that you must really love yourself to change.
If you want to win over temptation, you have to heal your relationship with yourself. Jesus said, “a kingdom divided unto itself cannot stand.” In other words, can a country win a war if it’s divided within? Of course not.
In order to fight the bad outside you, you’ve got to friend with the good in you. You have to celebrate your goodness.
Last week, I gave you the first reason why loving yourself is necessary for overcoming temptation. Sin is a counterfeit of love. (The pleasure of sin is the pirated version of the pleasure of being loved.) By having the real thing and satisfying your deepest need for love, sinful desires lose their urgency.
But there’s a second reason why loving yourself is crucial to fighting temptation: You don’t have enough “why” to fight.
Establish Your Why
The Bible says, In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. (Hebrews 12:4)
Are you willing to die in your fight against temptation?
Many people aren’t willing to fight to the death. There’s not enough fight in us. That’s why we lose.
Why?
Because we don’t have a reason to fight.
There’s no fuel. There’s no fire. There’s no fight!
If you don’t love yourself, you won’t fight. If you don’t love your freedom, you won’t fight. If you don’t love your future, you won’t fight.
If you study men who have gone in the battlefield and fought to the death, you’ll realize that they have a burning “why” in their soul.
Without this “why”, you won’t bother going to battle.
You’re in a battle too. There are temptations around you that want to destroy your life. Your marriage. Your finances. Your health. Your inner peace.
Will you fight this temptation?
Here’s the truth: You will only fight temptation to the degree that you value yourself. If you don’t value yourself, you won’t fight.
This is why I said that the greatest weapon of the devil isn’t lust, or greed, or pride, but self-rejection. This is the Trojan Horse that opens the gate of our souls to temptation.
To get rid of Self-Rejection, you need Self-Acceptance. To explain this, let me tell you the love story of Brad and Angelina (Note: any similarities to actual persons or events is purely coincidental).
How Many Cows Are You Worth?
In a small remote village many moons ago, there lived a people with a peculiar custom. When a man wanted to marry a woman, he had to give a dowry to the father of the bride. Now many cultures had this custom. But what was peculiar was the fact that the dowry had to be a cow.
You see, cows were prized possession in this village. And according to local custom, the man must give one to ten cows as dowry, depending on how beautiful the girl was.
In this village, there was a young man named Brad who fell in love with a young maiden named Angelina. And he wanted to marry her. So after many months of courtship, he finally arranged for a meeting with her father.
He Asked For Her Hand In Marriage
On that fateful day, Brad was nervous but ready. With sweaty palms and shaking knees, he knocked on the door of her home. And her family was waiting inside. Actually, her entire clan was waiting inside. All 67 people crammed up in this little house.
The mother of Angelina opened the door and invited Brad to come in. As was the custom, in the center of the room were two chairs prepared. The father of Angelina was already seated in one of them. He motioned to Brad to take the other seat.
Brad cleared his throat and announced, “Sir, I’d like to ask for the hand of your daughter Angelina in marriage.”
The father nodded his head and said, “Yes, I give you my blessing.”
The entire family applauded and cheered. And Angelina gave a shy smile as her sisters gave her a squeeze.
The young man then asked the next big question, “Sir, can we talk about dowry…”
It is here that I wish to give you a little background.
Angelina was kind and loving and sweet and intelligent. But she wasn’t physically beautiful. Her eyes were too large. Her mouth was too wide. Her lips were too thick. (I repeat: Any similarities to actual persons, events, or circumstances is purely coincidental.)
Because of this, the women of the clan–the grandmother, the mother, and all the aunties–already agreed that Angelina was worth one cow. This consensus was arrived by the women of the clan not on that day, not even weeks or months before, but years ago–as Angelina was growing up as a little girl among them.
So back to the story. The father said, “All I ask is that you give me one cow for my daughter.” Nods of agreement spread across the room.
Brad frowned. He couldn’t hide the dismay on his face. He shook his head and with a firm voice said, “Sir, with due respect, I shall not give you one cow for your daughter. She isn’t worthy of one cow.”
There was a collective loud gasp in the room. Angelina covered her mouth. Everyone was in shock…
This Guy Is Crazy
The father stood up. With anger, the father said, “Young man, how dare you insult my family! How dare you insult my daughter!”
Brad momentarily looked at Angelina (who at that point was about to break down in tears), smiled at her, and said, “Sir, for your lovely daughter, I shall give you TEN cows.”
There was another loud gasp in the room. All the relatives whispered to each other, “This guy is crazy.”
The father didn’t know what to say as well. For a moment, he spoke gibberish. “I… I… uh, but… but… how should I say this… young man, this is tradition. Aren’t you paying too much?”
Brad smiled, “Sir, Angelina isn’t only beautiful. She is the definition of beauty. Angelina is worth more than the highest price a man can ever pay.”
Brad then stood up, knelt in front of Angelina, and sang, “Beautiful girl, wherever you are…”
A few days later, the ten cows were given. And the wedding took place. And the happy couple walked to their new home.
And as the years passed, something magical happened to Angelina. Her physical appearance changed. Her face became more radiant. More alluring. More lovely. Soon, she became the most beautiful woman in the village.
Let me tell you how this happened…
Women Carry This Value In Their Minds Forever
Women in that village–for the rest of their lives–would carry their “dowry value” in their minds. They would see themselves through that lens–even if they got married 20 or 30 years ago. And they would also be seen by others through that lens.
The village seamstress? She’s a three-cow wife.
The store cashier? She’s a six-cow wife.
The wife of the doctor? She’s a four-cow wife.
But only Angelina was a ten-cow wife.
So she smiled like a ten-cow wife. She talked like a ten-cow wife. She dressed like a ten-cow wife. She took care of herself as a ten-cow wife. And everyone in the village saw her as a ten-cow wife!
Your Behavior Flows From Your Belief
What’s my point?
Your behavior flows from your belief.
Because Angelina believed she was a ten-cow wife, she acted like one. Soon, her physical body transformed too.
A lot of people try to change their lives by changing behavior.
Generally, it doesn’t work. Because they think the battle is on the outside. It’s not. Victory and Failure is an inside job.
Here’s the truth: You don’t change your life by changing behavior. You change your life by changing your beliefs. Once you change your beliefs, you change your behavior. Because behavior flows from beliefs.
But where does belief come from?
Your Belief Flows From Another Person’s Belief
Brad believed in Angelina.
He believed in her value. And she caught this belief.
For the longest time, she believed she was a one-cow woman. But someone walked into her life who had a totally different belief. This guy believed that she was a ten-cow wife.
Because of this, she began to believe in her value too.
Because Brad believed in her value, Angelina experienced a transformation. New behavior flowed out of her new belief.
Belief is like a virus. It’s not taught, it’s caught. No amount of lectures or reading will make you believe in your own value. There’s got to be the presence of another person who believes in your value–and he infects you with that belief.
Belief comes from belief.
The only way to believe in your own value is to witness someone else believe in your own value.
This is the role of every parent. To announce to your child, “I believe in you so much.” Parents, you need to say this by your actions, not just by your words. By the amount of time you spend with your kids. By the way you look at them, talk to them, and love them. Kids can see in your eyes whether you believe in their value or not.
When parents don’t do this, children grow up searching for someone to believe in them. And this is where they fall to bad company…
We need to be re-parented. In my vocabulary, this is discipleship. (This is what we’re trying to do in my spiritual community, Light of Jesus Family.)
Someone Does Believe In Your Value!
Brad paid for Angelina with the highest price possible.
Friend, you’re like Angelina–because God paid for you with the highest price possible. He gave Himself on the cross.
God values you so much.
Once you “get it”, you don’t want to sin.
The Bible said, Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet… (Matthew 7:6)
Why do we live with the swine? Why do we act like swine?
Because we believe we’re swine.
Why can’t we stop sinning? Because we believe that’s who we are. But if you believe that you’re a child of God, you won’t stay with the swine.
How I Got Healed
I’d like to pray with you today.
I believe miracles happen when someone loves you–and you receive that love.
I believe this because it happened to me. For many years, I hated myself. I just didn’t see myself as a one-cow person. I saw myself as a one-worm person. A one-bacteria person!
I was ashamed of myself. I was ashamed that I even existed.
This belief came from a trauma that happened to me as a child–when I was molested. And it worsened when I wallowed in my addictions. But every time I fell in my addictions, and I hated myself even more, God came and wrapped His arms around me.
God kept whispering to my ear, “I love you. I accept you. I enjoy you. I celebrate you.” The Bible verse that echoed in my heart was, Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus… (Romans 8:1)
God is like my second religion teacher. When I failed, He’d come up to me with a big smile on his face and say, “I believe in you. You can do better. Take the exam again.” God is the God of the second chance. And the third chance. And the fourth chance…
Condemned people act in a condemned way.
But forgiven people act in a forgiven way.
Slowly, I saw myself differently. I saw myself the way God saw me. And I changed.
Allow God to love you today.
May your dreams come true,
Bo Sanchez
PS. Join the Biggest Party! Get a big, fat marker pen and mark this super event on your calendar. Ten thousand people will come to our Grand Easter Feast on Easter Sunday, 8am to 12noon, at SMX (near Mall of Asia). Free Admission. Just walk right in and enjoy God’s Love. Come and receive your Easter Blessings! We’ll have a beautiful Easter Mass and inspiring worship. I’ll also preach on the message, Get Your Gold From Your Garbage. For more info, email Joy at support@kerygmafamily.com or call Tel. 7259999 now. Come!
