Do you want to succeed in life?
Stop whining.
Take charge.
Make things happen.
Here’s what I realized: Addicts are expert blamers. They will never take charge. They will never say, “I’m in charge. Depending on what I choose, my life can be very beautiful or very ugly.” Because addicts believe that others are to blame for their problem.
They had a survey–what is the common denominator of all successful people in the world.
They checked family background–and they found nothing in common. Some had great families while others had broken families. They checked education–and there again, there was nothing in common. Some had Ph.D’s while others didn’t even have a high school diploma. They checked religion–and there was nothing in common. Others were Christians, some were Muslims, some were Buddhists, some were atheists.
There was only one thing that all successful people had in common: They responded to failure positively. When the going gets tough, they took charge! They took the steering wheel of their life and drove.
Let me correct a misunderstanding: Friend, you are NOT the passenger and God is the driver. I’ve heard that analogy a lot. Shucks, I’ve even taught it. But it’s wrong. Here’s a better analogy: You are a driver (because God gave you free will)–but God is the real owner of the car, the master mechanic riding with you in the car, the GPS guiding your car, and the powerful fuel in your car…
We Even Blame God!
In Genesis, you find the famous “blame” verses in the Bible.
First, Adam blamed Eve for his sin: “God, she made me do it.”
And then Eve blamed the snake for her sin: “Uh, this snake made me do it!”
This is shifting the blame.
You don’t hear the words, “I did it. I blew it. It’s my fault. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” None. Instead you hear words of blame. Pointing fingers.
Actually, if you read the exact words of Adam, He was actually blaming God for his sin. Adam said, “The woman YOU put here in the garden made me sin…”
Tsk, tsk.
That was why bestselling author Larry Crabb said that the problem of this world is really the problem of manhood. He calls it the Silence of Adam. He didn’t protect his wife Eve. He allowed her to fall into sin–and even blamed her when he sinned.
I love what Bishop Ruben Abante told me. He said the Bible does NOT say, “Wives, love your husbands”. But it says, “Husbands, love your wives”. How come? Because love should come from the husband. When the husband loves the wife and the children, the wife and the children will love him. Men must take charge for the spiritual life of the family. When they take their leadership role seriously, abundance will flow.
“It’s Your Fault, Bo…”
One day, I was talking to a man who committed adultery. He said, “Bo, if you knew my wife, you too would commit adultery. Each day, I’d come home from work tired and exhausted, and I get nothing but nagging wife upset about this and upset about that. Every single night.” I felt so sad for him. Because I knew he won’t change.
Before our conversation was over, his last words to me were, “I fell into adultery because YOU didn’t follow me up. You’re my spiritual leader. But you were too busy with other things…”
Groan. So now it was my fault he committed adultery?
Don’t Even Blame Yourself
Look, I’m not even asking you blame yourself.
Just take responsibility. (There’s a huge difference.)
God is not in the business of blaming people.
God is not in the business of condemning people.
God is in the business of loving people, forgiving people, and giving people abundance.
If you have fault, accept it.
If you have sin, admit your mistake.
But never condemn yourself!
The point is not to blame yourself for your mess. The point is taking charge for creating a new life.
Yes, accept the guilt.
But accept also the power to live a new life.
When you take responsibility, you don’t find fault–even on yourself.
Condemnation won’t heal you. Judging yourself won’t heal you. Taking a guilt trip won’t heal you. Shaming yourself won’t heal you.
Only love will.
“Learned Helplessness” Or “Learned Helpfulness”
If there’s such a thing as “Learned Helplessness”, let me introduce you to “Learned Helpfulness”. Find the power that God has given you to change your life. Learned helplessness happens one day at a time. Learned Helpfulness happens one day at a time too.
There are three kinds of people in the world:
· Those who make things happen.
· Those who watch as things happen.
· And those who wonder, “What happened?”
What kind of person are you?
Tied to The Mind
Have you ever wondered why a gigantic elephant can be held by a rope around its leg tied to a flimsy stick dug in the ground?
Here’s the secret: While the elephant was still a baby, its owner would tie it with the rope. With much pain and a lot of frustration, the elephant tried to pull away but couldn’t.
After a lot of pain and frustration, it learned that it was impossible to get away and break the rope. Years later, even if the elephant was now a huge beast, weighing six tons, it doesn’t pull away. Why? Because the rope is tied to the mind, not to the body.
Friend, have you been blaming that thin piece of rope tying you to your mess, your failure, your sin, your problem?
You’re not helpless. You can change your life! You can change your spiritual life. Family life. Financial life.
Right now.
May your dreams come true,
Bo Sanchez
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