God has a fantastic plan for your life.

I believe that your past, good and bad, beautiful and ugly, light and dark, was all a preparation for your sacred purpose.

As I said last week, your past was not perfect, but it was perfect for your purpose. 

I can talk to you about 6394 things about how your past prepared you for your sacred purpose.   But for the next few weeks, I’ll just limit myself to 3 things. I’ll spotlight on how Position, Parenting, and Pattern affected who you are today.

       Today, I’ll talk about how Position or “Birth Order” in your family affected who you are today.

Your History Shaped Your Destiny

       I took a Masters program in Theology in the University. I didn’t have time to finish my thesis, so I don’t own a degree; but my purpose for studying wasn’t to get the degree but to get additional wisdom. (I figured I didn’t need a degree behind my name so people read my books.) One of my electives was a counseling course–and for one semester–we studied Birth Order. It was absolutely fascinating. Obviously, I won’t be able to discuss everything here in one article.  But let me summarize it for you…

Why were you born eldest? Middle? Youngest? Only child?

Even that was not an accident. I believe God was into that detail. I believe your birth order in the family shaped your personality in a dramatic way. There was a Divine hand behind your birth order.

       In this issue of Soulfood, I’ll be describing the typical tendencies of the eldest child, the second child, the middle child, and the youngest child.  Warning: If my description doesn’t fit your personality, that means you’re an exception.  Why? Perhaps you experienced a trauma.  Such as a death in the family.  Separation.  Chronic illness. Poverty. Emotional or physical abuse.  If the “birth order” were a computer program, trauma is like a virus that disrupts the program.

Are you ready? Let’s begin…

Characteristics Of An Eldest Child

Normally, firstborns are more responsible. More conscientious. Because the oldest child usually is asked to care for their siblings, help them with their homework, bath the baby, feed the toddler, wash the dishes, sweep the floor, clean the toilet, cook for Daddy, pay the Bumbay…

For example, out of the first 23 Astronauts who travelled through space, 21 were first born. 

Firstborn kids grow up to become either Bossy who controls, or a Nurturer who cares.

Firstborns usually end up being the “good child” who has a keen sense of right and wrong (sometimes with black and white thinking), who are organized, and meticulous list-makers.

Note: Sometimes, even if you’re not the eldest, but you’re the eldest boy or girl, you may have the traits of the firstborn too. Sometimes, if there’s a five-year gap between you and the sibling you followed, you may also have the firstborn traits too.

Why are you a firstborn? So you’ll have these characteristics that will help you fulfill your God-ordained purpose.

Characteristics Of A Second Child

If the eldest child is brainy and has fantastic grades, the second child will try to de-identify and carve his own way of getting attention. Perhaps he’ll go into sports. Or music. Or art. Or he will actually rebel and drop out. This sometimes happens when the eldest child is a superstar–and the second child can’t seem to cope up.

My eldest son is an achiever. He writes magazine articles, creates websites, serves in various ministries. Because of this, I need to deliberately spend more time with my second son–who is five years younger–to tell him that he too is a wonderful person and can be a great achiever too.

       The third child may then “de-de-identify” and move away from the path of the second child path and may act like the firstborn.

Characteristics Of A Middle Child

According to bestselling author Kevin Leman, middle children are the hardest to define because they can go to different directions. 

But here are their general characteristics:

They usually are amiable, a good team player, and want everyone to get along. They don’t stand out in the crowd. They are reliable, steady, loyal, and faithful. They are also more secretive than firstborns and lastborns.

And again, God allowed you to be born in the middle because that will give you the raw materials you need to fulfill your God-ordained purpose.

Characteristics Of A Youngest Child

I’m a last born, so I can identify with what I’m going to share with you. But because I’m the only boy–and there’s a five year gap between me and my sister–I don’t fit 100% into these traits–but I do share some of them.

Generally, lastborns are outgoing and high on social skills. They tend to be funny and are natural actors. In fact, a significant number of comedians are lastborns. Great comedians like Jim Carrey, Jay Leno, Danny Devito, Eddie Murphy, Goldie Hawn, Billy Crystal, Steve Martin, Mark Twain, and Bo Sanchez (haha) are all youngest children. They can be emotional and affectionate too. (Ask my wife!)

Because lastborns are least likely to get punished, they sometimes think they can get away of wrongdoing. (This time, ask my Mom.) They take risks more easily than their siblings. (Which explains why I’m the entrepreneur in the family, and how all my sisters now work for me.) They may be rebellious at times.  (Not me… I think.)  And they have short attention spans.

Lastborns gravitate towards careers in sales, arts, and music.  (That’s me.)

Why were you a youngest child? 

I believe God wanted to prepare you for your God-ordained purpose.

Celebrate Who You Are!

Here’s my big point: Whether you’re the eldest, second, middle, or youngest, God had a hand in your history! You were born and designed for a purpose.

Celebrate who you are.

Next week, I’ll discuss the kind of parenting that you received and how that affected you…

May your dreams come true,

Bo Sanchez

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